The Classic Paddy Rant

Quote of the moment:
Paddy's Lectures on Life, The Kr3W and Everything Else
DISCLAIMER: Rob takes no responsibily for offence caused by the following paragraphs. They are Paddy's opinions, not mine.

"Lets start with Quill....he sits around all day, pretending to be working but knowing that he isn't, a bit like Podgy, then sitting aroung writing his blog for hours, again, just like Podgy. Then he comes to Paddy complaining about how he had a shit weekend becuase he spend 5 hours reading Koels blog. I mean, for fucks sake, pick up the goddman phoned. And another thing, what the FUCK is going with you and her, you spend more time together than Jimmy and Prillo. What is the with the whole "I can't do that, it might piss someone off", I'm sorry, but you aren't gonna get anywhere by being the nice guy. WHAT THE FUCK is with you are you're pervertedness and trying to be TOUCHY with EVERY girl you know. You just aren't MEANT to be that touchy with people. OK, people need hugs and stuff, but you don't go around touching people when they don't want to be touched. WHAT IS WITH THAT?"

"The problem is with Podgy though is, she won't communicate very well, I mean, she doesn't want to have an argument about anything. I mean take satting at lunch, she may say the odd thing now and again but if you tell her to shut up for being stupid then she won't say anything and she'll be angry at herself for thinking you are wrong and not saying anything and then she'll be angry with you becuase we told her to shut up. So she bottles this all up along with all her other emotions and then goes back to house and goesn't know how to get rid of them so she goes and writes them down in some pathetic blog, just like the rest of the kr3w. So, she'll spend the next 5 and a half hours writing her blog and when she has finished she'll think "Shit, think about all the time I could've spent doing that, I could've been revising" and so she condemns herself to a nice tight circle of doom. But after she has done that, she doesn't realise that and think "I'll get rid of this stupid blog" but she thinks "I know, I'll spend the next 8 hours of my time reading everyone elses blog". Then she spends the next 5 hours replying to everyone elses and another 5 writing about how she sooo sorry about everyone else's problems. Ohhh...Boo-hoo. That's a great way to spend your time. Thats a whole day WASTED."

"Anna....the self centred woman that things she is everything, and OK, she is probably almost everything...BUT... she, once again, like Koel finds it extremely hard to talk to people about her problems. And it's always about HER... "Yeh, like in the last week I've had like 8 boyfriends, it's so great how popular I am now" Yeh, you've just had like 3 randomers who don't give a shit about you more than they do about anyone else, 8-foot Randy, with the boner the size of chick-pea, and then DJ Dave Punk who she now trying to go out with, and quoting Anna "What Ben doesn't know won't hurt him", so two-timing now is it Anna. If you're not carefully at the age of 24 with 6 kids leaving on the East-Side of London. So Anna is like "2 months ago I always thought I was really, really ugly but now I've got 18 boyfriends in the last 2 weeks so I must be really, really pretty". AND YES, that's the 18th time you've told me"

"Prillo....BOB WANTS PIE, FOR FUCKS SAKE, GROW UP. Stop going around sqeaking and jumping on to people like there is no tomorow. Yeh, she keeps playing the like "I'm cute, you'll forgive me", thing all the time. I think she talks more openly about her problems, which is good, but the love of Jim like he is her second boyfriend can get bloody annoying, like thier always hanging about together, never want to leave each other."

"Will P...the biggest fuck-up in natural life. So he misses like a year of school and he's just like, oh well, the teachers can just bail me out. And then he gets to university and what happens? He can't get out of bed...why? He has NO motivation....and what about communication skills? nope, none of those either. So, on the the off chance that he DOES get through university he's gonna go for his job interview and the guy is gonna be like "Hi Will" and Will is gonna go bright red and just look down and say nothing. Which won't matter because he'll probably get the job anyway thanks to his parents, but your boss WILL find out and you WILL be fucked unless you start working....NOW...And, then he'l join the Army, "I love the army, I AM the army, we are one with the Army" and he'll get yelled up and go pyscho and end up like the guy in full metal jacket, isn't that right Sgt. Pile? There are things called jokes, ya know? So you don't need to bludgeon me to death in the middle lunch, and trust me, I will break your knee-caps if you TOUCH me again."

"Jim....now Jim is the guy with his head screwed on properly, unlike the rest of ya. He's open, he is direct and he doesn't beat around the bush. WHY IS THAT SO HARD FOR THE REST OF YOU? Once again, all of you lot will fail in like unless you get the knack of this skill now. People will respect you for your honest opinions right there and then."

"You guys are like a fucking bunch of pathetic stars, evolving around around each other like a solar system. Unfortunately, what you don't realise is hat you have to break out of this. Now, you are probably thinking, YOU ARE HARSH, fine, maybe so, but you can't learn from your mistakes unless people tell you about them. This is a vicious world and we have to survive, OK, and sure, we have to make the best of what we have, which DOESN'T mean wasting time writing on fucking blogger.com or the rest of eternity. I didn't mean any of this in a harsh way, but more as an example to you as to how you can corrent yourself."

Do not moan to Paddy about how he wrote a blog. It was my idea to put it on here cos Paddy's opinons make me piss myself. So, blame him for being harsh and me for having the idea of putting it here.

You crack me up, little buddy...

Ahem. Yes, I was thinking last night as I read my own waffle that perhaps Paddy was right after all, about the wasting one's life blogging thing. Leaving aside that I'd only have been up watching films/gaming instead anyway, I requested that from Rob(He had to remove it from his blog as a result of the swearing commotion back at Felsted). What a classic, eh?...