La Neige!

Quote of the moment:
"Forecast for tomorrow: A few sprinkles of genius with a chance
of doom!"*

*Lots of snow (which, by the way, there's been plenty of here for the last two days). Travelling to Edinburgh on the train may be somewhat lengthy.

But you don't want to know about that. You want to watch the UNICEF advert in which the Smurf village gets bombed. It's part of a campaign to help child soldiers, apparently. Any excuse will do.

Shopping!

Quote of the moment:
"Pwetty shoes!" - http://www.weebl.jolt.co.uk/shoes.htm

Went swimming in Chelmsford to work off some turkey. After that it was sales time. I got books, spanky new shoes and black tracky B's. My Felsted ones are getting holey and apparently have a german flag on. Red and yellow bands on DARK BLUE. Fools.


Spot the difference

Meanwhile my mum got me a toastie maker in Comet. Victory is mine!

The Quiet American

Quote of the moment:
"Sooner or later, Mr. Fowler, one has to take sides, if one is to remain human."



Top stuff.

Clan Gathering

Quote of the moment:
"Were you in Cardiff in Fresher's week?"
"Oh, did you see me in the union?!"

- Indeed, I did see my cousin Hilary in the union pub. Remember that, Little James? It didn't get a mention here because the Senghetto wasn't connected at the time.



Saw some cousins, ate some cold meat + salad lunch (aka Una Alconbury's turkey curry buffet, but not curried) swapped some prezzies with cousins (got Crash on DVD - ossum) played some Articulate, had some tea, went some home.

Requiescat In Pace

And So This Is Christmas

Quote of the moment:
"Where are my keys?"
(cue search)
"We'd better go back and get them..."
(50m back down the road)
"Ah, here they are."

- My grandpa. I was taking my grandparents home since they'd been drinking and I was designated their driver. The other option was tidying my room and letting them sleep in it. Not drinking was supposed to be healthy, but since Sarah cooked a fry-up for breakfast in addition to lunch, supper and chocolate yule log for tea I doubt it made much difference.

Apparently it was my last year of getting a stocking. I volunteered to opt out at 18 but my sisters didn't want to do the same. This year, however, Father Christmas was unimpressed by having to wait until 6.30am for me to go to sleep. Even then it was left propping the door open, because apparently I moved upon attempted entry. Mwahaha.

Highlights of my under-the-tree spoils:

• A carefully wrapped empty shoebox containing an IOU for a pair of hiking boots from my parents.
  


• A suprisingly cool shirt from my other granny (the one near Chepstow). I suspect she had assistance.
  


• A "pasta set": wide bowl/plate, bag of pasta + pesto, e.v.o. oil and olives.
  


• A large metal "No trespassing. Trespassers will be shot. Survivors will be shot again" sign from Vicky, the elder of my two younger sisters.
  


• An awesome woolly hat knitted by my "little" sister Sarah. Black with red stripes, of course.

MCAAHNY!

Quote of the moment:
"I went to see Narnia last week..." - the vicar. Tis spreading insidiously :p

"Midnight Mass" (at the non-RC Felsted Church) was great fun. I saw Mr Roberts, Mrs Marshall, the West family, Mr Sugden, the Vernons, the Seals and more. Floppy (Mr Roberts, my old headmaster) was sitting in the row in front of us. Joyous.

The Night Before Christmas Hogswatch

Quote of the moment:
"'You can't give her that!' she screamed. 'It's not safe!'
IT'S A SWORD said the Hogfather. THEY'RE NOT MEANT TO BE SAFE.
'She's a child!' shouted Crumley.
IT'S EDUCATIONAL.
'What if she cuts herself?'
THAT WILL BE AN IMPORTANT LESSON."

Merry Hogswatch!



HUMANS NEED FANTASY TO BE HUMAN, TO BE THE PLACE WHERE THE FALLING ANGEL MEETS THE RISING APE.
“Tooth Fairies? Hogfathers? Little—”
YES. AS PRACTICE. YOU HAVE TO START OUT LEARNING TO BELIEVE THE LITTLE LIES.
“So we can believe the big ones?”
YES. JUSTICE. MERCY. DUTY. THAT SORT OF THING.
“They’re not the same at all!”
YOU THINK SO? THEN TAKE THE UNIVERSE AND GRIND IT DOWN TO THE FINEST POWDER AND SIEVE IT THROUGH THE FINEST SIEVE, AND THEN SHOW ME ONE ATOM OF JUSTICE, ONE MOLECULE OF MERCY, AND YET—Death waved a hand. AND YET YOU ACT AS IF THERE IS SOME IDEAL ORDER IN THE WORLD, AS IF THERE IS SOME… SOME RIGHTNESS IN THE UNIVERSE BY WHICH IT MAY BE JUDGED.
“Yes, but people have got to believe that, or else what’s the point—”
MY POINT EXACTLY.

The Night Before the Night Before Christmas

Quote of the moment:
It is said that whosoever the gods wish to destroy, they first make mad. In fact, whosoever the gods wish to destroy, they first hand the equivalent of a stick with a fizzing fuse and Acme Dynamite Company written on the side. It's more interesting, and doesn't take so long.

- Terry Pratchett, Soul Music.

Christmas lunch could be interesting. My dad went out to buy a board to put on the (rather small) dining room table so it would seat 8 people. Hed decided it would be a waste to get the nearest available one cut down to size, so it extends far enough off the end to interest the turkish avionics industry.

Twas the Night Before the Night Before the Night Before Christmas

Quote of the moment:

Where are you and I'm so sorry
I cannot sleep I cannot dream tonight
I need somebody and always
This sick strange darkness
Comes creeping on so haunting every time
And as I stared I counted
Webs from all the spiders
Catching things and eating their insides
Like indecision to call you
and hear your voice of treason
Will you come home and stop this pain tonight
Stop this pain tonight

Don't waste your time on me you're already
The voice inside my head (I miss you)

- Blink 182, I Miss You. Ripe for the full orchestral backing treatment.

Just dropped Will T back home. Had some uber-loud Classic FM on with the windows down, in nostalgic tribute to the absent Jim. Earlier we played some ISS 98 with Sarah as my disadvantage. Lol. All was going well until she staged a walkout in protest at my over-zealous captaincy. I wasn't really shouting at her that much...

Managed to run 4k this morning. Still having issues with continuity: I can run with walking pauses further and faster than I can jog. Damn circuit training.

Jolly Hockeysticks

Quote of the moment:
Runs are good. If you don’t have access to a gym run up a hill. If you don’t have acess to a hill buy one.

- Fitness plan for Christmas by Sex Pest.

Finally got some Christmas shopping done. Everyone's done apart from my dad, unless I just give my mum's present to both jointly. It's pretty awesome: a St Trinians box-set.



"You see, in other schools, girls are sent out quite unprepared into a merciless world ... but ... when our girls leave here, it is the merciless world which has to be prepared."

The Bosom of my Family Guy

Quote of the moment:
Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.

- Corinthians Book 1, Chapter 13, Verse 1 (King James Version). Mentioned by the Podge, but the old version's always better:

Stewie (reading the Bible): "My my, what a thumping good read, lions eating Christians, people nailing each other to two by fours. I'll say, you won't find that in Winnie the Pooh."

Yes indeed, I love Family Guy. So much, in fact, that I'm adding this to the sidebar:

Random Family Guy Quotes

Now I shall return to the bosom of my family. The cards and decorations are up, I made a particularly expert fire, the Two Towers EE DVD is on and Sarah's knitting. I persuaded her to stray from scarves (all she's done for the last umpteen months since she took it up as calmingly therapeutic/something to fidget with) to making me a hat. Black with red stripes, of course.

Sex Pest

Quote of the moment:
Next year I plan for the Novice men to buy a NEW BOAT as the one we currently have is too expensive to fix (thanks phil!). A decent new boat will cost about £2500. I have been given £1000 by the club which means I (we) need to find the other £1500. There are around 30 novice men so in order to raise the money we all need to raise 50 quid each.

- From the Novice Men's Christmas Message (J. Sexton) Chapter 2, Verse 4.

He's added himself to all of our messenger lists as well, so I could retrieve this fetching photo:


Damn you, damn the ravioli and damn the Wright Brothers!

Be warned: he's not just called Sex Pest because of the surname.

Jump

Quote of the moment:
"...which made me feel bad for wanting to jump him." - La Podge at the peak of her powers of literary expression.

I am now at home, having spent last night at the residence of my paternal grandmother. Ahem. Since I haven't adjusted to normal timekeeping yet I started reading The Remains of the Day after everyone else went to bed. To be honest I'd only heard of the film and it was Anthony Hopkins on the cover which initially drew me in. It's left me speaking in 'tween-the-wars formal tones. How uncommmon!


Would sir care for a class of chianti?

Vicky spent the last week (Birmingham started and finished a week before Cardiff) being an assistant matron at Wellesley House, helping the very posh little boys find their games socks and other fun things. The highlight of the week, however, was Zulu (who is now 18 months old and still smaller than Ben, hence earning the name Runt) having diarrohea on the newly laid pale carpet in the Housemaster's study. Score.

Since my sisters left it out (prior to heading west to collect me) I am now going to watch Love Actually. It's not that I like it, I merely wish to gain dance tips from Hugh Grant.

Homeward Bound

Quote of the moment:
Homeward bound
I wish I was
Homeward bound
Home, where my thought’s escaping
Home, where my music’s playing
Home, where my love lies waiting
Silently for me

- Simon and Garfunkel, Homeward Bound.

Thursday was awesome. Had Pizza Hut buffet for lunch with K3 (minus Matt) and Richard from K9. Circuits wasn't really happening, so played (quite firm, even solid) touch rugby with the 14-odd novices who turned up and our captain and v.c.

Went out to Bounce afterwards with the Pizza Hut posse. Using my line-out skills again I caught 3 "presents" being thrown out (fluffy headbands with pom-poms). Drunk Steve decided the one I was giving to Little James should be his though, and when I'd mauled it off him he wrapped his arms around my neck and pulled me over... on top of him. Foolish boy. I just lay there in the hope that neither of us would get chucked out if I didn't respond.

A while later Charlie, K9's honourary 6th member, reappeared with another Charlie... I had a very drunk Dougie leaning on me for a bit while we reminisced about Felsted. Apparently he'd had a bottle of whiskey and several pints of Snakebite. Apart from cricket he's doing law. My mental image of Dougie in black barrister's robes is very similar to Jason Isaacs as Lucius Malfoy:



I managed to keep hold of my particularly attractive pink fluffy pom-pom headband all night and it's now joined my collection of mementoes, along with the Halloween horns, the cheerleader pom-poms, the rubber duck and the hula-hoop.

We all stayed up playing on the xbox and watching DVDs (Napolean Dynamite and Trainspotting) until about 8am, at which point I joined Rich and Matt for fried breakfast. Mmmmm.

Slept from 11 to 3.30 and spent the rest of the day slobbing in K3. Have been tidying up and packing since about 1am, but that was interrupted twice by the fire alarm going off. Apparently two flats in K block had the glass in their red fire alarm things smashed within an hour of each other. Honestly. It's almost as if people were partying to celebrate the end of term.

Ritalin Time

Quote of the moment:
If 5 or more items from the above checklist apply to your child, he/she should be evaluated by a professional for possible Attention Deficit Disorder.

There were 33 items on the checklist. According to self-evaluation of me aged 5-18, I ticked 18. Not all applied at once, but still...

Ritalin time! (to the tune of Hammer time)

Technically Ritalin's not prescribed for ADD, only ADHD, but it is described for Chronic Fatigue Syndrome/Post Viral Fatigue Syndrome. So I could have been a Ritalin junkie anyway.

Row Your Boat

Quote of the moment:
"Someone asked me what I do at university and I said "rowing"

- 'Rowing James'. Politics student - what can one say?

Signed away £135 for rowing stuff. Ouch. For that I get the following: a spanky jacket, a training top thing (like a long sleeved t-shirt but lycra) and the crowning glory, a lycra leotard. Jacket's red and black (top and bottom) and the others are black with a red stripe inside a white stripe down the sides. Yeah baby. Oh I fell in the river. Oh I fell in the river again.

On the plus side, it's a good incentive to keep fit over Christmas.

Does Joules Iron His Wrapping Paper?

Quote of the moment:
"It took quite some effort to track down your e-mail address but I thought I ought to say thank you for the lovely Xmas Card; it looks lovely next to the others in the bin."

- Joules strikes back.

Another classic from PostSecret this week:



My dad took away my un-ripped wrapping paper when the 'rents came to visit, bringing my birthday presents. Cue eye-rolling.

Met up with Paddy, Rob and Rob's young lady Hannah in town today (plus two of Hannah's mates who are at uni here). We ended up going to an all-you-can-eat Chinese buffet for supper, which they hadn't planned to stay for. Oops. I was bursting at the seams when we left... the fools only put out the crispy duck & pancakes when we'd been there for nearly an hour, damn them, plus pudding after that. No going out afterwards though, so I was safe. Once they'd got back on the train, I came home and sprawled on Little James' bed holding my stomach in instead.

Unoriginal Pirate Material: The Chav Nativity

Quote of the moment:
The Story of Baby Jesus (updated to help Chavs understand it)

There's this bird called Mary, yeah? She's a virgin (wossat then?). She's not married or nuffink, but she's got this boyfriend, Joe, innit? He does joinery an' that. Mary lives with him in a crib dahn Nazaref. One day Mary meets this bloke Gabriel. She's like 'Oo ya lookin at?'

Gabriel just goes 'You got one up the duff, you have.' Mary's totally gobsmacked. She gives it to him large 'Stop dissin' me yeah? I ain't no Kappa-slapper. I never bin wiv no one!' So Mary goes and sees her cousin Liz, who's six months gone herself. Liz is largin' it. She's filled with spirits, Bacardi Breezers an' that. She's like 'Orright, Mary, I can feel me bay-bee in me tummy and I reckon I'm well blessed. Think of all the extra benefits an' that we are gonna get.' Mary goes 'Yeah, s'pose you're right'

Mary an' Joe ain't got no money so they have to ponse a donkey, an' go dahn Bethlehem on that. They get to this pub an' Mary wants to stop, yeah? To have her bay-bee an' that. But there ain't no room at the inn, innit? So Mary an' Joe break an' enter into this garridge, only it's filled wiv animals. Cahs an' sheep an' that. Then these three geezers turn up, looking proper bling, wiv crowns on their heads. They're like 'Respect, bay-bee Jesus', an' say they're wise men from the East End.

Joe goes: 'If you're so wise, wotchoo doin' wiv this Frankenstein an' myrrh? Why dincha just bring gold, Adidas and Burberry?' It's all about to kick off when Gabriel turns up again an' sez he's got another message from this Lord geezer.

He's like 'The police is comin an' they're killin all the bay-bees. You better nash off to Egypt.' Joe goes 'You must be monged if you think I'm goin' dahn Egypt on a
minging donkey.' Gabriel sez 'Suit yerself, pal. But it's your look out if you stay.' So they go dahn Egypt till they've stopped killin the first-born an' it's safe an' that. Then Joe and Mary and Jesus go back to Nazaref, an' Jesus turns water into Stella.

- Robbed from a cash-and-carry Newstudent.org post, which was probably stolen from somewhere else. Boredom resulted in checking if anything had happened since I last went on there (just post-USA) and I struck 9ct Argos catalogue gold.

In other news, my whole tongue has a greenish hue. How healthy!

One Week Left

Quote of the moment:
"You're banned!" - Little James. Apparently it's my punishment for assisting Steve in waking him up last night. My bad. Steve is to be repayed in kind, but the idea of just coming around and banging on my window obviously hadn't occured to him.

Only a week left. It's not a week til I go home, because I'm going to the grandmaternal abode to begin with, but a week til I leave here. Hurrah for going home.

Rowing Initiation

Quote of the moment:
Everyone get two drinks and head to the dancefloor! - Rowing social secretary.

Wasn't as bad as it could have been. Was still standing at the end. Novice Captain James was being held upright at least half an hour before then. Lol. Also a certain Miss Rowena Harvey was practically carried out, and probably carried home. Haha. Some people just can't handle their drink. I, on the other hand, came home with a Tigger drawing on the front of my white, sign-me T-shirt (and a minge on the back). Steve, as far as I know, just had the Tigger (which he did get first to give him his due), but I left him looking for a trolley and went back to my flat (with the hoola-hoop I'd "rescued" when everyone was leaving. It was one of the items in the scavenger hunt, but my team stuck with Hula-Hoops (the crisp versions). So much easier to transport, plus I ate them (BBQ Beef flavour) after the judging was done. Oh yeah - I took over my team's list of stuff. Haha. My bad. Je suis un bossy cow.

Got chips on the way back (with the hula-hoop hidden beneath the counter) then came home, decided (for some unknown reason) that I was still hungry and set about cooking. Pasta, sausages and ketchup. Beautiful combo. Shame I burnt my finger draining the pasta, but c'est la vie. Bah. I have a hoop. It's purple with glittery bits. Beat that for spoils of a drunken outing.

I should also mention that Ruth (on whom I drew "Desperate (for) Dan") seemingly pulled said Dan, her object of lust and adulation, and I didn't see them after about 12. Shocking. However, the senior women's captain and one of her team-mates emerged from a cubicle in the men's toilets while I was in there (fortunately I'd reached the hand-washing stage, unlike one poor unfortunate) to great whooping and applause. I didn't stand on the next-door bog to look over the wall though, so I don't know what was going on.

Anyway. Drunken cooking succesfully completed, I'm off to read Terry Pratchett (Going Postal) on the bog and then pass out on (or hopefully in) my bed. Woohoo. We still didn't get our damn social shirts though. Honestly. It was almost as if Natalie (the social sec.) was more interested in who she was going home with. Haha. True fact, that. Nighty night.

You Need to Get Out More When...

As soon as you notice it's past midnight, you open your advent calendar for the next day.

Well, it is a chocolate one...

Everyone Runs Faster With the Knife!

Quote of the moment:
"There's no respawn points in RL" - Steve's favourite and oft-repeated Doug quote.


You scored as Assault Rifle. You are soldier. Or you want to be a soldier. Or you just love military-type firearms. You need assault rifle. M16 or AK-47 will do good.

Assault Rifle		100%
Sniper Rifle		75%
Shotgun		44%
Revolver		44%
Machinegun		38%
SMG		38%
Pistol		38%

What Firearm Fits You Best?
created with QuizFarm.com

Apologies for unleashing the loathed quiz-farm offerings again, but the grammar just made it too good to miss. I'll take the under-slung grenade launcher with that, kthanx.

Continuing the theme, I must direct you (courtesy of Mr Matthew Wright of K3) to what is, apparently, video footage of my alter-ego, Doug.

Jim strafing down the path at school to go faster, anyone?

Cameron 4 t3h w1n!

Quote of the moment:
David Cameron has been elected as the new Conservative leader by a margin of more than two to one over David Davis. - BBC News.

I finally got the mass email saying I'm invited back to camp next year. My email address, along with a large number of others, was misspelt. According to the graduate careers talk I went to last week, any kind of work that involves "transferable" skills is handy, it doesn't have to be directly engineering related. I think I'll take the sunshine option.

Random fact: My flatmates, feeling both festive and drunk, took a can of snow spray stuff and adorned each of the communal windows with a Christmas penis. How scenic.

Show Me the Muffins

Quote of the moment:
You had me at "Environmental Fluid Mechanics"

Or not. Test at 9am. Woke up about 4pm, having failed to get up for any of my 5 alarms starting at 8am. Woohoo. Nm, the exam result will apparently apply as a psuedo test score as well. Since I missed the latter half of last week as well, I have no idea if Claire went home this weekend, but if she did then I missed the home-baking lecture. Now there's a real tragedy.

(Update on the illness: issues with swallowing due to swollen glands. Woohoo.)

Red as a Cherry Tomato

Quote of the moment:
Mmmmm cherry tomatoes. Reminds me of your profile picture: red and shiny :p


Midget tomato, or tomato-coloured midget?

Glands are up, sporadic bouts of sweating and shivering, nicely developed hacking cough. Hooray for being ill.

Environmental Fluid Mechanics test at 9am. Bleurgh.

Monopoly Mayhem

Quote of the moment:
"Don't knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run."

Another banging party in K9 tonight. They got up and finished their party booze supplies for breakfast! Legendary! They came touting for people to play Monopoly around 11 (I think) but the game didn't begin until 11.45 and lasted an epic 3 and a half hours. Six men started the battle of luck and endurance. I came 3rd despite being on top for most of the game, due to Richard ("The Fat Controller") skipping my hotels and landing on his stations almost all the time. The only thing he did pay for was the Electric Company, damn him. He won, but Martin was man-of-the-match for grimly hanging on despite only getting 1 property to begin with, getting up to a set of 3 with haggling but never managing to build anything at all. A commendable 4th. Oh, and the whole game was played in dressing gowns. Over clothes mostly, apart from Herr Kontroller.

Strongbow & Ribena:Druids' Brew

Quote of the moment:
Get it down... you Zulu warrior! Get it down... you Zulu chief chief chief chief chief chief!...

Just come back from an awesome drunk party in K9. The plan was to head out to town somewhere, but we were having so much fun piling onto people's beds n stuff that that was abandoned. Some people did go out for the traditional post-night-out takeaway though. Mmmm chips. I stayed in and stuck to toast'n'jam. Not convinced it's healthier but it's certainly more economical. Unlike buying an Xmas tree in November and having it mauled on December 1st. Shame on you Little James. Tis all your fault.


Didn't finish my bridge project. Sod it. Serves me right. Hopefully will learn my lesson, but given the weight of historical evidence I doubt it. As Jules said at the LVI parents meeting, "He has a cavalier attitude to deadlines". Yeah baby. I'm a cavalier. At least that makes me an interesting failure, not a dull one. Anyway, I've secured 25 (of an available 30) of the necessary 40% to pass Drawing already, so sod it. I'll scrape through. 70% in my presentation baby, yeah! I can talk like the days will never go down behind the hills in the west, into darkness. How did it come to this, eh?! EH?!

A P-P-P-Presentation?

Quote of the moment:
"That was very good, apart from being 15 minutes long"

Oops. It was supposed to be 7-10 minutes. I still got 70% though :D

Straight onto the bridge design for this afternoon. Woohoo!

Winegums Are Awesome

Quote of the moment:
I'm going to go change... - Rowing James. He just changed his skirt for some jeans, but that was my cue...

Abandoned the cheerleader costume between the pub (Gassy Jack's) and the club (Rubber Duck in Solus @ the union) in favour of combats, "Action Man" tshirt and aviators. My cheerleader outfit was the bomb though. Pics later, maybe, if I can get them off the neighbours who took them. Arrived in the union in time to follow everyone (only about 15) in but after a while I lost them at the bar when talking to a girl from my tutor group. She + mate then disappeared when I turned back to buying a drink, so I was left to wander the club on my jones.

Quite pissed already so cba to do that for long and headed for home. Saw another rowing guy doing the same (and helping a random girl who got her stilleto stuck in a draincover) on the way out, so never mind. Lots of work to do tomorrow! Lectures 10-5 then I need to work on my bridge project and practise my presentation - both due on Friday. Woohoo!

Did my 5k this afternoon... got 18mins 52, which was 4th out of the 7 guys who'd done it by then... hopefully it stayed that high! Doubt it though. Bah. Was good considering I haven't done any rowing in aaaages. Got a bruise across my knuckles where I think I hit a wall on the way home. Oops.

Yes indeed, I'm le pissed. Wahey! P.S. did some shopping on the way home from rowing and got some winegums. Mmmmm winegums. :D