The Good, The Bad and Leonardo DiCaprio

Quote of the moment:

My life has been rated:


Million Dollar Baby cleaned up at the Oscars. Hurrah! It won:
Best Motion Picture
Best Director - Clint Eastwood
Best Actress - Hilary Swank
Best Supporting Actor - Morgan Freeman

The Aviator only got Supporting Actress(Cate Blanchett) and some technical ones. I haven't actually seen either of them yet, but on past evidence I think Clint Eastwood is awesome, because of The Good, The Bad and The Ugly, Unforgiven and all the rest. Morgan Freeman is also cool. However, Leonardo DiCaprio ruined The Man in the Iron Mask, which had an awesome cast and was otherwise very good. Therefor I dislike The Aviator on instinct.

Aren't preconcieved conceptions cool? :p

Aye Carumba!

Quote of the moment:
"I would never let a woman kick my ass. If she tried something, I'd be like, HEY! You get your bitch ass back in the kitchen and make me some pie!" - Cartman, South Park.

Bleh... Got up at 3pm. Had cooked breakfast, graciously prepared by Chef Jimmy, about 4pm. Finally got rid of Jim and Jimmy about 6pm. Feeling so ronery... :p

I've just watched yet another Top 100 show on Channel 4 with Jimmy Carr. How rare! This time it was cartoons. The notable ones:

9. The Incredibles
7. The Lion King
5. Family Guy
3. South Park
2. Tom and Jerry

Tom and Jerry started in 1935! That's 70 years ago! Aye carumba!

You should know what won even without my subtle hinting. It was, of course, The Simpsons. Thank you, please come again!

Team Laser Implosion

Quote of the moment:
Will P (that's me) holds up a cheese knife and says "The wrong trousers!". Apparently it was funny... It was the wrong cheese knife, and I wasn't even drinking then!

Wahey! It's Drunk Will, back for another "The lads are here, we've been gaming, drinking and having geeky fun" post! We also embarked on an epic adventure...

Having spotted my old Laser Challenge set, we got out a ton of batteries and suited up Will T and Jimmy. We then headed out in my and Jim's cars (yes, Jim drove here, it's incredible, and this was before we really started drinking) and did driveby shootings on each other! Mwahaha! We went to Tesco's carpark, but scarpered before doing anything when a police car cruised through. We then headed on down to the A120, doing a few Hawwy's around the roundabouts, and went along the A120 to Felsted. When we turned off we did a few 'jousts' along the section of straight road parallel to the duel carriageway on the Felsted side. We scarpered again when another set of blue lights went past on the A120, heading to the school. We did a slow motion version on the Front, filmed on Jimmy's camera, then regrouped at the Memorial Hall carpark. As the snow was falling quite heavily Jim and Will did a few donuts (car slides) in the back carpark, filmed by Jimmy, then we swapped over and I had a go too. It was le funnnnnnnnnnnnnnn... :D

After that we headed home, stopping for Will and Jim to piss, and shortly afterwards for Jimmy to throw up, because he got carsick trying to watch the playback on his camera. Awww...

We've now put him to bed, and have been playing more Super Smash Brothers for about 2 hours... SIGH.

Anyway, it was fun. Cooked breakfast in the morning... Night!

A Pitch 12 Parsecs Wide

Quote of the moment:
Bob Mortimer: "George Bush has an unusual pet. What is it?"
Alistair McGowan: "Tony Blair"

Having watched the awesomely cool Monty Python and the Search for the Holy Grail last night, when the topic of Polo came up at supper tonight I had an awesome idea:

Python Polo

The Rules: The game takes place on a small pitch(e.g. for 5-a-side football). Participants play in pairs. One has a croquet mallet, the other has a pair of coconut shell halves. Four pairs make up a team. The mallet wielders must ride around the pitch as if riding a horse, holding imaginary reins, and hit the ball in a polo like fashion. The coconut wielders must follow behind looking bored and making hoof noises with the coconuts. Goals are scored in the usual fashion. Penalties for bad play (including lapses of riding impressions) are to be punished by the fetching of a shrubbery.

Good plan, eh?

In other news, Rob sent me the best use of Telnet ever: telnet://towel.blinkenlights.nl

Just stick it into the address bar on IE and a telnet window should appear, showing you the full telnet version of Star Wars. You can give up after however long you want, but have a look. It is priceless.

The Classic Paddy Rant

Quote of the moment:
Paddy's Lectures on Life, The Kr3W and Everything Else
DISCLAIMER: Rob takes no responsibily for offence caused by the following paragraphs. They are Paddy's opinions, not mine.

"Lets start with Quill....he sits around all day, pretending to be working but knowing that he isn't, a bit like Podgy, then sitting aroung writing his blog for hours, again, just like Podgy. Then he comes to Paddy complaining about how he had a shit weekend becuase he spend 5 hours reading Koels blog. I mean, for fucks sake, pick up the goddman phoned. And another thing, what the FUCK is going with you and her, you spend more time together than Jimmy and Prillo. What is the with the whole "I can't do that, it might piss someone off", I'm sorry, but you aren't gonna get anywhere by being the nice guy. WHAT THE FUCK is with you are you're pervertedness and trying to be TOUCHY with EVERY girl you know. You just aren't MEANT to be that touchy with people. OK, people need hugs and stuff, but you don't go around touching people when they don't want to be touched. WHAT IS WITH THAT?"

"The problem is with Podgy though is, she won't communicate very well, I mean, she doesn't want to have an argument about anything. I mean take satting at lunch, she may say the odd thing now and again but if you tell her to shut up for being stupid then she won't say anything and she'll be angry at herself for thinking you are wrong and not saying anything and then she'll be angry with you becuase we told her to shut up. So she bottles this all up along with all her other emotions and then goes back to house and goesn't know how to get rid of them so she goes and writes them down in some pathetic blog, just like the rest of the kr3w. So, she'll spend the next 5 and a half hours writing her blog and when she has finished she'll think "Shit, think about all the time I could've spent doing that, I could've been revising" and so she condemns herself to a nice tight circle of doom. But after she has done that, she doesn't realise that and think "I'll get rid of this stupid blog" but she thinks "I know, I'll spend the next 8 hours of my time reading everyone elses blog". Then she spends the next 5 hours replying to everyone elses and another 5 writing about how she sooo sorry about everyone else's problems. Ohhh...Boo-hoo. That's a great way to spend your time. Thats a whole day WASTED."

"Anna....the self centred woman that things she is everything, and OK, she is probably almost everything...BUT... she, once again, like Koel finds it extremely hard to talk to people about her problems. And it's always about HER... "Yeh, like in the last week I've had like 8 boyfriends, it's so great how popular I am now" Yeh, you've just had like 3 randomers who don't give a shit about you more than they do about anyone else, 8-foot Randy, with the boner the size of chick-pea, and then DJ Dave Punk who she now trying to go out with, and quoting Anna "What Ben doesn't know won't hurt him", so two-timing now is it Anna. If you're not carefully at the age of 24 with 6 kids leaving on the East-Side of London. So Anna is like "2 months ago I always thought I was really, really ugly but now I've got 18 boyfriends in the last 2 weeks so I must be really, really pretty". AND YES, that's the 18th time you've told me"

"Prillo....BOB WANTS PIE, FOR FUCKS SAKE, GROW UP. Stop going around sqeaking and jumping on to people like there is no tomorow. Yeh, she keeps playing the like "I'm cute, you'll forgive me", thing all the time. I think she talks more openly about her problems, which is good, but the love of Jim like he is her second boyfriend can get bloody annoying, like thier always hanging about together, never want to leave each other."

"Will P...the biggest fuck-up in natural life. So he misses like a year of school and he's just like, oh well, the teachers can just bail me out. And then he gets to university and what happens? He can't get out of bed...why? He has NO motivation....and what about communication skills? nope, none of those either. So, on the the off chance that he DOES get through university he's gonna go for his job interview and the guy is gonna be like "Hi Will" and Will is gonna go bright red and just look down and say nothing. Which won't matter because he'll probably get the job anyway thanks to his parents, but your boss WILL find out and you WILL be fucked unless you start working....NOW...And, then he'l join the Army, "I love the army, I AM the army, we are one with the Army" and he'll get yelled up and go pyscho and end up like the guy in full metal jacket, isn't that right Sgt. Pile? There are things called jokes, ya know? So you don't need to bludgeon me to death in the middle lunch, and trust me, I will break your knee-caps if you TOUCH me again."

"Jim....now Jim is the guy with his head screwed on properly, unlike the rest of ya. He's open, he is direct and he doesn't beat around the bush. WHY IS THAT SO HARD FOR THE REST OF YOU? Once again, all of you lot will fail in like unless you get the knack of this skill now. People will respect you for your honest opinions right there and then."

"You guys are like a fucking bunch of pathetic stars, evolving around around each other like a solar system. Unfortunately, what you don't realise is hat you have to break out of this. Now, you are probably thinking, YOU ARE HARSH, fine, maybe so, but you can't learn from your mistakes unless people tell you about them. This is a vicious world and we have to survive, OK, and sure, we have to make the best of what we have, which DOESN'T mean wasting time writing on fucking blogger.com or the rest of eternity. I didn't mean any of this in a harsh way, but more as an example to you as to how you can corrent yourself."

Do not moan to Paddy about how he wrote a blog. It was my idea to put it on here cos Paddy's opinons make me piss myself. So, blame him for being harsh and me for having the idea of putting it here.

You crack me up, little buddy...

Ahem. Yes, I was thinking last night as I read my own waffle that perhaps Paddy was right after all, about the wasting one's life blogging thing. Leaving aside that I'd only have been up watching films/gaming instead anyway, I requested that from Rob(He had to remove it from his blog as a result of the swearing commotion back at Felsted). What a classic, eh?...

Geneological Rambling

Quotes of the moment:
"You are to bring us a shrubbery!"
- Monty Python and the Search for the Holy Grail.

"What we want is bonsai!"
- Translation of Japanese dubbing.

Sigh... Hmmm. What to do now, eh? I had the next four months planned around my Army selection stuff. I'm planning (fingers crossed) to keep on doing most of the fitness stuff, since I want to stop being a fat pie anyway. I'll probably drop most of the running though, since I no longer have a time to achieve, and stick to cycling. I'm also going to get a proper job, which I didn't before so that it wouldn't be interrupted by going off on visits to regiments etc, as well as the selection tests. Perhaps something in the Stansted baggage handling line? I hear it's the fashionable thing: Timmy B and Paddy, well known trend-setters, have both partaken in this hedonistic employment!

In the longer term, I'm not convinced about a life as a normal civil engineer... It might get too routine, what with the lack of 6 month tours to lovely hotspots! Unless I manage to join some wonderful one-off specialty building design firm, I might, after a few years, go with one of my possible plans for if I failed to make it onto the promotion list for becoming a general(!): teaching.

Zut alors! Mai oui! I wouldn't be so foolish as to go all the way into it though. I'd stick to D&T, I reckon. Very little homework/prep to mark, and you get to make interesting stuff occasionally! How rare! I might seem lacking in imagination for only thinking of family careers:

Soldiering: Father, Two uncles, grandfather.
Teaching: Father, Aunt.
Civil Engineering: One uncle, Great uncle plus his son plus his son. Also one uncle in surveying and one in mechanical engineering.

But...
Medicine:
(Nurses): Mother, Two aunts, Grandmother
(Doctors): One first cousin, plus Grandfather, his brother and his brothers two sons, and two of one of their sons.

So Vicky's worse than me! Even Sarah, who's currently thinking of Art College, would be following my other grandmother... Methinks picking a family job runs in the family! To put it another way, some things are quite obviously inherited...

Apologies for the irrelevance of all of that(and especially if you've heard it before), but I thought it was kind of funny, really, how predictable my family is!

Army Rejection

Quote of the moment:
"Not a school for couch potatoes" - The advert in The Times for RHS Holbrook. How rare!

My dear sister got an offer from Birmingham for Medicine. Hurrah! The downside is that Alie Lee got one from Birmingham too... LOL. My sister isn't keen on having Alie yelling "HI VICKY!" at her several times a day, so she's made a deal that if they both get in there, Alie won't yell at her and Vicky won't spread pictures of Alie's fringe. Well, that's how Vicky tells it... [Rolls eyes]

I also got a letter. Not a particularly welcome one. It said in essence that I automatically fail the Army entrance tests on medical grounds, because of my ACL repair. Well, thanks for telling me that earlier!

The offending knee:


I had a short period of releasing my anger, but now I'm ok. It's still a major bummer. I was led to believe that it was now on an individual assesment basis, but it seems that has only been introduced for people who are already in the Army. D'oh! It might change in the next few years, if I'm lucky, since I have until I'm 28 to join. [Growls in frustration]. If Lawrence Dallaghio can play rugby for England with a repaired ACL, surely I can at least have a chance to join the Army? If my knee was deemed too weak, I'd accept it easier than the outright dismissal I got. Bah humbug!

Pikey Gear

Quote of the moment:
"Dat cap's heavy man, innit!" - Fictional chav describing Will's new 'gear'.

Having taken my mum and sister into Braintree to have haircuts this afternoon, I bummed off to the job centre and played with their fun little touchscreens again. I've discovered a job with ideal hours: 7pm to 2am, Friday to Sunday, the hours I'm awake for! It would also mean I could go there after Tesco, and thereby keep the rest of my week free! Score! The only downside is that it's as a "Front of House" person, which means talking to people: Noooo! :P

For anyone interested, it's at Chicago's in Chelmsford, the one we got kicked out of on Anna's birthday. LOL.

Following that little jaunt to the town centre, we went to Freeport, and I wandered into the Nike shop while my sister went on a skirt search. I emerged with a rather fine zip-up hoodie(£13), a cap(£6) and a pack of socks(£5). The socks are for my running, the cap is because I need one for Camp(it's on the packing list) and it was a rare one that fits my huge head. The hoodie is because I felt like it! Besides, I didn't have a thin, zip-up one yet :P

Witness my new stuff:


Now the pikey version:


I also got excited again last night, and went back outside about 2am and took some more pictures:

The garden, looking white:


The birdhouse, also looking white:


A small stick on the drive, showing a rather cool windshadow. This isn't me sweeping, it was just because of the constant wind direction!

Snow!

Quote of the moment:
"SNOW!" - Me.

Here for your delight and delectation are some pictures I took earlier today, in my joy at the falling white stuff. It's snowing again now... Hurrah!

The conservatory roof from my parents room:


The drive from my window:


The garden from my parents room:


Will's prep-school-CDT-special birdhouse:


Zulu being snowed on:


Videos:

Snow falling: proof!

Zulu plays in the snow

Some bonuses:

The interior of my parents room, complete with the 70's paint that we found under the wallpaper:


Just for Rob, my own picture of the Marsh Harrier in the field by our house, taken from my window:


Yesterday I discovered that the little telescope I got for Christmas fits onto my camera! The rubber around the eyepiece actually grips onto the lens... How handy!


Now the zoomed in version, of a tree about 100m away
(with the camera balanced on the windowsill):


Hope that mildly entertained you for a few minutes... if not, go back and hover your mouse over the pictures for a Will's World exclusive: Will's Novelty Captions!

Twisted Fire Starter

Quote of the moment:
Baldrick: "He was half to becoming another Robin Hood, sir."
Blackadder: "By half way, what exacly do you mean, Baldrick?"
Baldrick: "He robs from the rich, but hasnt got around to giving it to the poor, sir."
Thanks for that, Vince :D

Today I never went more than 20 metres from the house. That sucks. I was going to go cycling, but it was freezing and started to snow as I was pumping up my tyres, so I gave up. On the plus side, I did do a bit of wallpaper stripping in my parents room. Mostly though I left the ladies at it. It's my mum's half-term project. [Rolls eyes]

I went outside for a session with my punchbag, hanging from the tree in the garden. Probably because of the cold, the hook snapped right off! D'oh! I did manage to start quite a good fire (in the sitting room hearth) this evening. I've told my parents that I need as much practice as possible before going to the US. Mwahaha...

I Love Thee

Quote of the moment:
"I pray thee gentle mortal sing again: Mine ear is much enamour'd of thy note." - Girl in Levi's ad/Titania in A Midsummer Night's Dream. Oh, the irony... the 'cool' guy is actually playing Bottom. [Rolls eyes]

After being ambushed by Willy yesterday, I saw Kaz's mum in Tesco today. She seemed a bit puzzled! I don't know whether that was because she couldn't remember exactly who I was, or because she could and was wondering what the hell I was doing there...

It was my section manager's last day today. He was pretty ownage, letting me get away with changing my hours randomly and stuff. I'll find out who the new manager is when I arrive on Friday - the excitement is almost too much to bear!

Flicking through the channels I saw a bit of Sweet Sixteen, a film set in Glasgow. It had English subtitles :D

Marsh Harrier

Quote of the moment:
"Ladies and gentlemen, would you please give it up for a band whose records you should never throw at zombies: New Order!" - Simon Pegg, NME Awards.

I forgot the major point of interest from Thursday, when I was too busy working on my Army application form to blog. Damn women... because of them, there's now a section on it about 'difficulties overcome', 'emotions experienced' and other such crap. Does "upper lip felt stiff" count as an emotion?!

Anyway, to the point: For the second time this week I saw a bird of prey wheeling above the field outside our house, and this time it settled in a tree near enough to make out the colouring. I dusted off the family copy of Birds of Britain and worked out that it's a Marsh Harrier:



How cool! :D

Blow The Hell Out of Hogwarts

Quote of the moment:
"Homer, it seems you have torn your anterior cruciate ligament!" - Dr Hibbert, The Simpsons. I'm missing one of those too :D

According to the intellectual masterpiece that is The Sun, the background gravestones in the graveyard scene in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire have the names of the production crew on. Cool, eh? Apparently they had to use real people's names for legal reasons, in case someone came forward with one of the invented ones... [Rolls eyes]

D'oh! I was the only person in my department who turned up to work today. It was just me and my manager... There were three on holiday, one was ill and one broke her leg!

"You are a mercenary.
Blow stuff up!
Blow it up some more!
Blow the living hell out of it!
Blow the living hell out of it some more!"
- The advert for Mercenaries: Playground of Destruction. Sounds ideal!

Donnie Darko

Quote of the moment:
"And how did you feel, being denied these hungry, hungry hippos?" - The shrink in Donnie Darko.

It was a definite mistake to try and watch that for the first time while doing my nocturnal exercise. Last night I managed fine with The Italian Job, despite the amusing idea of Handsome Rob stroking his stubbly chin(and spotting that what Edward Norton is watching on his huge TV for all of half a second is actually the original Italian Job).

I got about halfway through Donnie Darko and postponed my efforts, because the film is not only dark and twisted (just the way I like it), it's also beautifully shot. There's a wonderful atmosphere to the shadows or the warm fuzzy glow of the evening shots. The reference to DeLoreans obviously impressed, as did the Hungry Hungry Hippos. The CGI was beautiful, as was Jena Malone:

It's slightly embarrasing to admit that I faintly recognised her and, having looked it up, the only reason could have been Stepmom...

Late-Night Lactic Acid

Quote of the moment:
"Hug People, Not Trees" - Sign at Turnabout Ranch on Brat Camp.

Went swimming again... Improved to 30 lengths from 24 last week. Would have done more but my dear mother came with me and decided she was leaving. [Rolls eyes]

Last night, for the second night in a row, I did my dumbell and barbell stuff. Go me! I'm even doing it again tonight. Shocking! I also managed to do my 40 sit-ups in a mere 1 minute and 45 seconds, a large improvement on 2m30 the night before, and well under the required test time of 2 minutes. That is the minimum though, plus I still need to work on the press-ups. [Rolls eyes again]

Today(yesterday), the 16th, was my dear Papa's birthday... I got him M*A*S*H on DVD :D

I'd better be off to my jollifications again, then... Fun guaranteed!

Cultural Stew

Quote of the moment:
"Marjorie, please! I enjoy all the meats of our cultural stew!" - Homer, The Simpsons.

What follows is the plot of The League of Gentlemen's Apocalypse:

"The fictional world of Royston Vasey is facing apocalypse and the only way to avert disaster is for our nightmarish cast of characters to find a way into the real world and confront their creators. From present day Soho to the fictional film world of 17th Century Britain, the residents must overcome countless bizarre obstacles in their bid to return Royston Vasey to safety. In addition to featuring the most beloved characters from the original The League of Gentlemen TV series, this darkly hilarious movie adventure will also bring to the screen a whole host of new characters and cameo performances from numerous famous faces."

Rob wasn't very enthused... Fingers crossed it'll come out well!

I went for a 9 mile cycle today... Go me! For those with local knowledge, I went to Great Leighs, into Felsted as far as Bannister Green and back on the road that goes basically straight towards my house. I managed it in under an hour, which was reasonable! :D

Coming Soon To LOCAL Cinemas

Quote of the moment:
"This year one motion picture will dare to ask life's biggest question: ARE YOU LOCAL?!"

There's a League of Gentlemen film coming out soon! Yippee! It's called The League of Gentlemen's Apocalypse and will be released on April 22nd. Hehehehehe! I just saw the little trailer on Film 2005. Thank you vewy much, Mr Woss!

Woohoo! [Does a little heelclicking dance]

Bleed With Me

Quote of the moment:
"Freedom!" - You know exactly where it comes from.

I have just finished watching all four hours of The 100 Greatest Tearjerkers. Phew! [Wipes brow]

Of my favourites, Gladiator snuck in at 98, which I have let a tear out for every time I see it. Sad, but true. Not at the end since viewing one, but at the bit when he arrives at his burnt-out farm to find the charred corpses of his family... Fair enough, no?

Next was Shane at 87, an all time classic where the lone gunslinger saves the day and rides away at the end, leaving the little boy whose family he saved behind. Perhaps it was just that I was the same age as the little boy when I saw it, but it's cool.

Spartacus managed 81 for the classic "I'm Spartacus!" bit, Inspector Morse's death made 75 (but I couldn't help remembering the awesome cast-only ending that we got shown in a scholar's meeting by the composer, Barrington Phelong, where Kevin Whateley (Sergeant Lewis) comes out of the morgue and leaps in the air yelling "YES!") and Rocky was at 70.

Jerry Maguire had me at hello (56), Steve Redgrave's 5th gold floated in at 55, the original Railway Children steamed in at 53, and Gallipoli doesn't get any daft puns at 45.

The Snowman at 28 and Four Weddings and a Funeral at 26 are solid contenders. Inside the top twenty: Dead Poets Society (20), Stand By Me (17), Watership Down (15), Blackadder's final WWI episode (13) and Forrest Gump (11).

In the top ten, the ones to my liking were The Champ, The Shawshank Redemption and The Green Mile. E.T. won. Meh.

My main objection to the programme was that in Braveheart, at 21, Wallace's death was assumed to be the tearjerker. The first time around, sure, but the best bit for me is always at the very end, (after the annoyingly bad "You're about to have your arse kissed by a king" line) when Robert the Bruce finally steps up to his legacy. When he takes out the embroidered (by Wallace's wife) handkerchief that Wallace drops when he's decapitated. When he says to the Scottish army the killer line:

"You have bled with Wallace. Now bleed with me!"

If I was Podgy, I would eloquently explain how the way they charged against heavy odds, ready to die for that highly prized freedom rather than submit, to swear their fealty in blood, was poetically magnificent. As I lack that capability, I'll just say that it's brilliant. As am I for taking nearly 3 hours to write that and you if you read all of it. Thanks :D

Poindextrose

Quote of the moment:
I have isolated the chemical which is emitted by every geek, dork, and four-eyes. I call it "poindextrose." - Lisa Simpson in Bye Bye Nerdie.

To summarise what I said last night, my family residence will be moving from Essex to near Margate in north-east Kent. This will take place at some point during the summer holidays while I'm in the USA. It's about 2 hours drive from here and Sarah will still be going to Felsted until she's done her A-levels, so I won't be disappearing from around here completely yet. Shame, I'm sure you're saying!

England lost to France 18-17 in the Six Nations Rugby. That puts them jointly at the bottom of the table! [Sighs]

Wellesley House

Quotes of the moment:
Plans to introduce a zoo's suspected homosexual penguins to a group of females has(sic) angered gay and lesbian groups. Bremerhaven Zoo in Germany denied it was "trying to break up same sex pairs by force". - The Daily Express.

So you're for gay marriage? I'll tell you why you're wrong. Gay marriage will lead to gay divorce, and that will be BITCHY! - Jimmy Carr, The Friday Night Project.

My dad has a job! Hurrah! It's at Wellesley House (as in Arthur Wellesley, Duke of Wellington, defeater of Napolean) in Kent. North-East Kent, to be precise. A little bit out of the way, but it is apparently a 'proper' prep school like Felsted Prep used to be, back in the good old days of Mr Pomphrey. Except its more posh.

He's become a maths teacher, since the extra hassle of acting as technician as well as science teacher (and HoD responsible for all the PE teachers etc teaching a few lessons of science without knowing how) was why he left in the first place. Apparently being off the London commuter routes means we can have a bigger house too :D

On the downside, it's even further from Cardiff than we are now. Ditto Leeds and Birmingham, Vicky's two remaining medicine schools, since Nottingham and Southampton rejected her. But meh... Apparently the housemastership of the junior boarding house is also up for offer from September, and my parents (as a pair) are under consideration for that too! Which would mean they wouldn't need to buy a house there for a few years, which could mean that they might need to invest in one in Cardiff... Mwahahaha! :D

Schemes for world domination aside, my lazy bum of a dad has a job! Hurrah! Perhaps now he'll get on with all the work he was supposed to be doing on the house so that we can sell it and move before September!

Camp Maps

Quotes of the moment:
Prillo talking about Greenday:
"Hmm... s'a bit too happy for me :p"
Prillo talking about Busted:
"What I go to school for? Dr Dave ;)"

Just for pictorial interest, since there's nothing interesting to look at on here at the moment and I happened to be browsing:

The area where my camp (Camp Westmont) is:


The camp map:


Nice and colourful. Or even colorful. [Rolls eyes]

Hellish Hogwarts

Quote of the moment:
"And Harry Potter and all his wizard friends went straight to hell for practising witchcraft!" - Ned Flanders, reading to Todd.

Meh. Loads more piffle in the newspapers today about the forthcoming royal marriage. Some people apparently think that it's disgraceful, because Camilla Parker-Bowles broke up Prince Charles' marriage to Diana. Uhuh... Sure, they got (back) together once he and Diana had separated, having gone out together before their respective marriages, and they had never lost touch. But the royal separation happened because she was shagging half the officers mess of the household cavalry! He's by no means perfect, but Prince Charles actually has a lot higher moral standing than Diana. Dying doesn't make her an angel.

Bah humbug to all emo-chicks, sez I!

Little British Wedding

Quote of the moment:
"Prince Charles and Camilla Parker-Bowles are to marry..." - Practically every channel, in extra programs as well as filling the normal news. Enough already! It had to happen sometime, she isn't going to be queen, just Duchess of Cornwall (Charles was - and is - the Duke of Cornwall before becoming Prince of Wales) now, and Princess Consort once he's crowned. Sounds perfectly sensible to me... What's the big deal?

Haha... Robbie Williams got owned at the Brit Awards: It was announced that two ex-members of Take That were there to present his award, and he looked like he was going to do toilet on the floor, but when they came on it was Matt Lucas and David Walliams, in string-vesty Take That costumes... LOL :D

Muse got robbed of the Best British Rock Act, but at least they got Best British Live Act! Even more funny than the Little Britain thing was Mike Skinner of The Streets missing going on stage to collect his award. According to the guy who went up for him, "The last time I saw him he was in the toilets". Haha...

[Edit 00:18 - Rob sent me an awesome interactive cartoon puzzle. Go try! Also, I forgot to mention that Ellen MacArthur has been made a Dame, at only 28 years old, for breaking the round-the-world solo sailing record. Like she said: "It's not over. There are plenty of records out there." Hurrah!]

Fingers & Forms

Quote of the moment:
LUV
HAT
Tattoos on the knuckles of Sideshow Bob, archcriminal of The Simpsons(where people only have 3 fingers).

[Yawns]. I had a rather tiring day today. Went to the surgery in Felsted to hand in my army medical form to filled in by Dr Slack. Came home, had lunch, went swimming in Chelmsford, did a fair few lengths of my mongrel breaststroke-arms-only, went to the opticians to have an eyetest for my army optometry form, came home, went on a roundabout cycle ride to get a newspaper. By my lazy standards that's quite a bit! Also, while in Chelmsford I bought Comfort In Sound by Feeder, since it was only £4.99 in HMV. I'm sure Vince will be proud.

Apparently Mr Gwyther's response at the parents meeting on Sunday, when my parents told him I got placed, was "I feel sorry for the poor frightened kids". Mwahahaha!

Ban This Matt Good Filth!

Quote of the moment:
SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: LISTENING TO MATTHEW GOOD COULD BE HAZADROUS TO YOUR MENTAL HEALTH.

It's true. When I asked Rob why he'd written such a depressed and emo post, he said he'd been listening to 'some early Matt stuff' and 'got thinking'. An overdose of Matt could kill!

In other news, my desktop has now got the same problem as my laptop had; it can't login to Messenger. ARSE FEZ!

[Edit 11:13 - Silly me... it was only a MSN problem that's now sorted, not the can't-log-in-to-anything-ever that I had on my laptop. Phew...]

Alternate Superbowl Perspective

Quote of the moment:
O.K. The world is a weird place when I start having lab/chemistry dreams. So I had this dream last nite where Rachel and I were going to watch the SuperBowl... the SUPERBOWL damn it!? I don't care about football AT ALL. Anyhow, so we were at the stadium and the players came out but they weren't people... they were stick figures looking something like MolyMod® models and some had like alcohol groups on them, some had oxygens or nitro groups, and others had aldehydes. But like the main body was always some kind of a benzene ring or a cyclohexane ring and you could see like every atom in their body for some reason. So when they started playing you could see like the ball being passed around and reacting differently with each player...

Now, that's not all. Further into the game, when people were singing anthems (I don't even remember which teams were playing), apparently one of the players was widely hated (sort of like A-Rod in B0st0n) and so people sang this:

Take your benzio-carbonyl,
take your benzio-carbonyl,
take your benzio-carbonyl--
and shove it up your arse!!! - The Lexcinator.

Legendary. Simply legendary.

In the ensuing discussion:
Hulk says:
I had a dream where everything was made of icecream once :p
Prillo: w00t!! I Passed!! says:
COOL!

Apparently that was a totally unintentional pun. Sigh!

Same Old Station

Quote of the moment:
"Revamp in progress" - www.t3hkr3w.blogspot.com. Coming some time soon!

Sigh! I went back to Liverpool Street today. Stepped off the train, went to the end of the platform, through the barrier, around to the next platform, back through the barrier, got my wallet from the help booth and got on to the train that left 5 minutes later. What fun!

Superbowl Wars

Having been absorbed by Any Given Sunday last night, I watched the Superbowl tonight from the end of the first quarter. It was pretty good! I used to think American Football was for dumbasses, but despite the constant stop-starting there were some decent flowing bits, and the 'touchdowns' were more numerous than tries in the type of kicking Wilkinson rugby that England play now. I was backing the Philadelphia Eagles because they were the underdogs, but in the end the New England Patriots held on at the end to win 24-21, their third Superbowl victory in 4 years. Not bad!

Haha... What music did they just play to introduce the prize-giving? The Star Wars theme tune!

Singing in the Rain

Quote of the moment:
"Put... the bunny... back... in the box." - Nicholas Cage in Con Air. Classic stuff! :D

I just saw an awesomely cool advert for the new Golf GTI. It's "Singing in the Rain" with the guy in the suit dancing down the road with his umbrella. The difference is that after the first line or so, he starts robot-dancing, then does some break-dance style stuff off a lamp-post, back to the robot and up to the car, which is obviously not an old black one but a silver GTI (still in the - presumably digitally produced - old street). I can't really do it justice, but it is seriously classy.

Wandering Wallet

Quote of the moment:
"D'oh!" - Me, yesterday, upon getting home and discovering I lacked a wallet.

It was handed in at Liverpool Street station (where it was presumably lifted from my bag/pocket while I was going home), minus the £2 worth of change and the debit card, but still with the driving licence! I cancelled the card as soon as I got home, so no probs! I just have to go back there tomorrow to collect it. Sigh!

Camp Westmont

Quote of the moment:
"Would you like to sign up now, or have a look around and come back and sign up later?" - Girl running the Camp Westmont stall at the Camp Directors Fair.

Hurrah! I now have a proper job for the summer! I looked at a couple of stalls, starting with the Canadensis one, but unfortunately they'd got people for the camping posts already. I then got a more encouraging response from a Catholic boys camp, which would have been fine with me (basically means grace at meals and prayers before bed), taking 'riflery'. That was for ages up to 13 though. When I browsed on I found the Westmont stall with a huge list on the front of all the jobs on offer, including one for 'Pioneering'. It's co-ed (single sex cabin groups) and ages 6-16, but the 6 and 7 year olds do specific junior activities. The job turned out to be being in charge of the small campsite a short distance from the main camp, where groups go for overnight stays, supervising them pitching the tents, setting the fire and jointly cooking the barbeque. That means that every one of the 3/4 nights per week I'm doing campouts, I get to eat BBQ. Score!

One of the people on the stall was the guy who's been doing it for the past two years and is now in charge of the canoeing, and he said it's an evening only activity (there are 3 periods, morning, afternoon, evening) so I'm free for helping with other activities during the day. When he then found out I've done a fair bit of canoeing, he seemed to mentally go SCORE and I got offered the job on the spot :D That's because for the canoeing they put an adult in each canoe (of the long, open kind) along with 2 or 3 kids, so they always need people for helping with that, and that's a morning to afternoon activity, with lunch halfway down the river. Also score! So my timetable's looking pretty awesome :D They also do the Color War and other evening stuff, so I should be kept busy. Plus I got a Camp Westmont '05 t-shirt - pics when/if I ever get my laptop back - which is quite pro. They also happen to have a very high proportion of English counsellors, which is most excellent!

Mwahahaha! Victory is mine! [Grins evilly]

[Edit 19.33 - England got whipped by Wales in their opening Six Nations rugby match, most of which I caught on TV. Sigh... What can I say? The Welsh are cool :D]

Antedeluvial Porcupines

Quote of the moment:
"Sorry. I seem to have done toilet on your floor!" - The old classics, eh? That takes me back to the good old days of yore, when we were young, before Old Man Hoult was crippled parachuting onto a porcupine...

Ahem. Is Will delusional? If you asked me on a Monday, I'd say...

BBC newsreader: We go now to our political editor, Andrew Marr. Andrew, it seems the current political blah blah blah...
Andrew Marr: Yeah I know.

Apparently it was a passably good impression, as well. Congratulations are due!

In the small but horribly deformed world of Will, there has been little of note, other than that I finally submitted my Camp America online form last night. I then found that because I'd taken so long to decide whether I wanted to attend the Saturday fair or the Sunday fair (some Camp directors only attend one), the Saturday option had already disappeared from the options. Damnation, I cried! Well, something similar in the modern vernacular. This was because I had found that all but one of the decent camps that are only available on one day, are on Saturday. Fortunately I phoned this morning and was told to just turn up anyway, as it was only to give a rough indication of numbers, since many people apply by paper form which they bring with them on the day, and they don't have to tell anyone beforehand.

That means I might be able to get placed at Camp Canadensis - the best of the bunch, according to what I've gathered so far. Partly because they do my stuff (Hiking, overnight camping, campfire cookery etc) partly because the website is extremely detailed, and partly because the one-offs look awesome. For example, the 'Color War' where the camp is divided into blue and gold teams, and they compete in everything from tug-of-war through swimming to quizzes, and the 'Revolutionary War day' (4th July, Independance Day), when Brit bashing is de rigeur, and the camp staff dress up as the opposing sides. My Union Jack would be coming with me, methinks :D

I also managed to pick up my reference from Mr Christmas from school, the one from Mr Gwyther having arrived this morning. Mr Gwyther's was in an envelope within the postage envelope, and the inner one was unsealed. I obviously therefore had a peek! It was very complimentary (:D), but made me chortle over the bit which said something like: "His dedication to his extra-curricular activities was so strong as to be possibly to the detriment of his academic work." Haha... Understatement of the year!

Postman Zulu

Quote of the moment:
Jo Mills: "You're only going to Warwick..."
John Deed: "Yes, but it feels like Siberia!"
- Judge John Deed. Taking that, Rob m8?

Zulu brought me my post this morning! Hehe! He missed all the small envelopes, but he brought the large envelope with my RCB Briefing forms. There are a ridiculous number of them, everything from an optician's test through a doctor's medical form to an ethnic origin questionnaire.

I just realised what the Judge from A Time To Kill has been in! Patrick McGoohan was Edward I, Hammer of the Scots, in Braveheart!

[Edit 20:34 - I would like to apologise for my brief lapse into Prill-like rapture over Sandra Bullock. Sorry!]

Pain!

Quote of the moment:
"If I get any trouble outta you guys, I'm gonna integrate this jail" - The Sheriff to the two white rapists in the cell block of black men.

I've just finished watching A Time To Kill on BBC3, which was pretty awesome. The cast list alone was awesome. All the major cast were recognisable, as were half the minor ones. Just for starters: Samuel L Jackson, Matthew McConaughey, Kevin Spacey, Donald Sutherland, Kiefer Sutherland, Sandra Bullock...

Mmmm... Sandra Bullock. Definitely best film (looks wise) I've seen her in. [Drools]



There was also a very cool bit in the rioting outside the courthouse, when a group of black guys grabbed the Klu Klux Klan leader, in his special red cape and pointy hat, and dragged him out of the crowd to the side of the road, then scarpered. Then another one pops up on the roof of the shop he's lying next to and throws a molotov cocktail down on to him. Mmm... roast Klansman!

Unfortunately that means I missed the start of both Rocky III and Predator. Shame! I've seen Rocky III before, and Predator at least 4 times!

Argh... I now have the exciting task of reading the profiles of about 200 camps, and browsing the websites of probably 40+ possibilities, so I know what Camp Directors I want to see at the weekend. Fun reincarnated!

Haha... Just seen the classic Rocky training montage! LOL.

Another classic:
Reporter: "What's your prediction for the fight?"
Clubber Lang (Mr T): "My prediction?"
Reporter: "Yes, your prediction."
Mr T: "PAIN!"

Football Jibber-Jabber

Quote of the moment:
"Quit your jibber-jabber!" - The legendary Mr T.

As you may have noticed, if you obeyed my order to watch, Mr T wasn't on. It was moved to tomorrow night, presumably because of the epic clash between Manchester United and Arsenal at Highbury.

I've finally completed the Camp America form! Hurrah!

Camp Jim

Quote of the moment:
"11.15: Film: Rocky III" - My TV guide. That'd be the one with Mr T! Hurrah! Hope everyone watches it!

Filling in my online form at the moment for Camp America, before the Camp Directors Fair at the weekend. Interviews... Scary!

Congratulations to Jim for passing his driving test first time. Funny thing, I remember something about him being in Essex for the weekend due to 'a driving lesson'. What a coincidence!

[Edit 21:22 - Looking at Mr T's IMDB profile, his first TV job was doing voices on Sesame Street!]

Laptop Saga

Quote of the moment:
"Interesting in a good way? Not in a 'he would be interesting to study in a controlled environment' sort of way?" - tequilamockingbird. All that and an amusing name too.

Be warned: what follows could be classified under the species 'rant'. Fortunately it's of the genus 'mocking', not 'irate' and certainly not the extreme mutation of rant, the 'Podgy'.

Two weeks ago my sister returned home from school saying there was a fault with her laptop screen. My dad gave her my laptop to take in, so he could send hers off to be fixed. I transferred my old desktop (that I had prior to having the laptop that is now Sarah's) to the desk to use "for two weeks at the most".

This weekend my sister brings back my laptop, and has even had Ant sort out the firewall settings so that I can connect to Messenger again. My dad has spent the last two weeks trying to get her laptop to fail again, without success. He therefore decides that she should take it back into school until it malfunctions. However, because she's starting some coursework this week, he also gave her mine to take in to do her coursework on. She is therefore supposed to use her laptop for chatting and emailing, and mine for work.

That's great. The best bit, however, is that it's the same fault that I had two years ago with the same laptop, hence I persuaded him to give me the new one he'd bought himself. Sarah took mine, because there wasn't actually anything wrong with it other than the ancient spec and the screen going wrong if left on for days at a time.

I wonder why the screen could have gone wrong in exactly the same way?!

I have tried explaining this, but my dad just talks over me and says that when it goes wrong he'll send it off to be fixed, or failing that, claimed on the insurance.

That's great too!

He has over a year until his half century, but he's already acting like a Saga tourist who left the spare hearing aid battery at home!