Sunday, January 30, 2005

12 Pythons

Quote of the moment:
Al: How ya feeling Rob?
Rob: Amazing
Oli: Looks like you've finshed your drink, you need another one
Johnny: Gotta hurry hurry hurry
Rob: Fix me up another
Wilson: I'll fix you up another mate, no worries
Rob: Amazing, amazing

- Drunk Rob's transcript of his Acid Will tribute video.

Thank you again, Jimmy. I'm enjoying Time Splitters 2 lots :D

I'm currently watching 12 Monkeys. Notable not just for Bruce Willis and Brad Pitt, but also for being directed by Terry Gilliam, formerly of Monty Python's Flying Circus!

[Edit 00:15 - In the scene where Bruce Willis finds the sign of the 12 Monkeys sprayed on a wall, the wall is covered with gig posters for Muse!]

All gone...

Quote of the moment:
"Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and f*** the prom queen." - Sean Connery in The Rock.

Had an enormous fry-up this morning, with fried bread, beans and sausage in addition to the usual egg and bacon. Mmmm...

I also managed to persuade Jimmy to leave his GameCube here for the week. Hurrah!

PIE!

Quote of the moment:
Will T: Is it icecream time?
Will P: No!
T: Icecream?
P: Pie!
T: Icecream?
P: Piepiepiepiepiepiepie!
T: Icecream!
P: PIE! (Exit Will's mouthful of pizza, stage left)

Drunk Will strikes again!

Will T, Jim, Jimmy and I are having an epic gaming gathering. So far we've managed Perfect Dark(N64), Smash Bros(GC), Worms(PC), 1080(GC) and a large amount of pizza and pringles. Also some vodka for me, beer for Jim, and a mixture for Will T which has no doubt added to his state of poetic lucidity.

I barricaded my parents' door with a mattress to try and block the noise of the drunkards playing Worms on the PC just outside their door. Most excellent!

In other news, I ordered some pro t-shirts last night: A Homer Simpson Springfield Unathletic Dept one, a Cartman Respect My Authority one, a Green Day American Idiot one and a piratical Skull and Crossbones in which I can walk around saying "Yarr, shiver me shurikens!"

Friday, January 28, 2005

Throw-Away Eyebrows

Quote of the moment:
"I gave my 6 year old a throw-away camera before he went to the sea-life centre, and when he got back I asked where it was. "I put it in the bin before we came back, Mummy" he said." - Overheard in the staff canteen at Tesco.

According to The Sun today, the oldest squadron in the RAF held a poll to find their favourite six Page 3 girls, and named six planes after them. Yes indeed, the RAF are really working at full stretch, aren't they?!

During My Hero earlier, the doorbell rang (in the programme) and Zulu ran to the door expecting a visitor. I thought that was pretty clever!

New Weebl & Bob - ouch. Amusing for the eyebrows :D

[Edit 00:27 - This is my 150th post on here :D]

Zimbabwe

A few days ago the goverment of the USA announced its blacklist of countries for the second G.W.B. term. In addition to the standards of Iran and North Korea, the 7-strong list included Zimbabwe. At last! Perhaps the minerals industry tried the same lobby as the oil industry...

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

PIOFV

Quote of the moment:
"That's how superior we are to the English regiments" - One of our 'escorts', a lieutenant in the King's Own Scottish Borderers, while we were watching Braveheart.

I have returned from Warminster, "Home of the Infantry", and I had a most intellectually stimulating time! Anyone not interested in rifles etc can read the bit about me being shite at the running (3 paragraphs down), then leave a mocking comment about that and ignore everything else.

Train Monday morning, arrived lunchtime, recieved joining pack including a rather cool "Infantry Officer: Command Respect" mousemat. Issued with ancient combats (not me, I had my scrounged ones from Felsted), ate, started attending "stands", ie demonstrations or activities. Went to portable SAT(small arms trainer) range, which is an inflatable tent much like a green bouncy castle, containing a 4 man version of the Army arcade. It's like Silent Scope, except there are 4 of you, with actual rifles with laser parts fitted in the barrels. You fire at the screen on which there is a simulation of an attack, or an ambush you have set, or similar. I got 44 hits with 99 shots, and the next in my group was 11/93... :D

Then there was the signals stand, where we were in 4 teams of 5, each with a personal radio with the dinky mouthpiece. As the chosen captain I had to guide my 4 blindfolded guys out from the start to collect a cone each (We were on blues). Since the cones were all about 10m from the start, I told my guys to link arms and ordered them up to the edge of the cones, then one each to each blue cone, then back together and back to the start. Because everyone else sent one at a time, and were getting confused by saying "Turn left a bit, right a bit." instead of "Number 3, forward one pace. Sidestep one pace left." I managed to get everyone back to the start, and only one other team had even managed to get a single cone back! It wasn't assesed though...

After that came my nemesis, the fitness section. I did ok, I came about 3/4 of the way down the order in each part! Only about 2/3 met the targets though, so I was slightly under/over. Pressups and Situps was supposed to be 40 in 2 minutes, I got 38 and 35 respectively. Running wasn't so good, but I've only been training for 2 weeks compared to most guys who've already taken the first part of the RCB and so have been training for at least a couple of months! I got 13 minutes 51 in the run, which was pants, but I beat 7 out of the 40 people still, and none of them were even slightly podgy! The target was 10mins 30 though! Thats for 1.5km individual timed, following a 1.5km squaded forced march (roughly running 400m, walking 100m). I can probably manage about 11 if I did it from scratch, but you have to do the pressups and situps then run straight away... Bummer, eh? That's only tested at the main RCB though, which I wont be taking for at least 5 months...

In the evening there was a talk on "Experiences in the Infantry" with some cool videos, obviously (propoganda Rob m8... If you fall in line, etc :P) and one random one which was a contact with a sniper in Basra recorded by a soldier with a camera phone! Then dinner, with a choice of two roasts and accompanying veg and pudding... Mmmm... That's every night in the Officers Mess, and you pay about 75p per day for all your meals... :D

The next day we got to ride in the Saxon and Warrior APCs(Armoured Personnel Carriers), which was cool. Saxon is basically a truck with heavy armour, and the Warrior is a tracked vehicle with a gun turret from a light tank, which is rather more fun! We then rotated and got to see the new - American designed - Javelin anti tank(bunker/building/low flying helicopter) launcher, which was cool, particularly because we tried the trainer. It's basically the aiming unit, which has night vision and, on the British version, a 10x zoom. The Yanks made a weapon with a range of 3.5km and forgot the zoom... Anyway, on trainer (which can simulate NV) you look in and you see a computer screen with whatever target the instructor chooses, and you have to track it, zoom it, target it, get a lock then hit the switch and watch it go boom! It's seriously fun... :D

After lunch we got to look at demonstrations by the Infantry Trials and Development Unit, so basically all the new kit thats being tested. There was an ultra cool thermal sight for a rifle that runs off AA batteries, the new Underslung Grenade Launcher for the SA80 along with the Minime, GPMG and an AK47 for comparison, and a Scimitar recce tank to climb in. We also used the permanent SAT range there, which is the most up to date version and plays the attack sequence through afterwards with a cross hair on the screen where each rifle was pointing, which turns green with every missed shot and red with every hit. It's like an uber arcade game!

We were then bussed off to the Assault course, which we were, as usual, talked through, then walked through, then made to do competitively. I did all of that, then jarred my knee on the last concrete sided water jump, so I was told to sit out while everyone else was made to jump into the water jump, then crawl back up the full length of the course because they left someone behind on the wall :D

Back to the Mess for more awesome food, (Mmmm... Roast Pork... Crabcakes... Yes, I went back for seconds :D) then drinking in the bar and watching Braveheart. This morning we had breakfast, had a short "Was this any use?" bit, returned keys and got a bus back to the station, and that was basically that (though there were 4 of us who went on the train to Paddington, where there is a very cool Paddington Bear gift shop :D).

Monday, January 24, 2005

To War(minster)!

Quote of the moment:
The British Library Website, giving online access to works such as Da Vinci's notebooks and the Magna Carta, came second in the Yahoo awards for 2004's best site. "First place...was taken by a website that features dancing badges, a fish crossed with a loaf of bread and the surreal adventures of egg-shaped characters Weebl and Bob. Weebls-stuff.com was judged to be the best website of the last year..." - The Times, Friday.

I heard at lunch today that Hilary (my cousin, who lives in Cardiff) told her boss she wanted to go to the Tsunami concert, but they said no because they couldn't get anyone to cover for her for the day. So she quit!

Tonight I went to the cinema with Jimmy, to see Team America: World Police. Slightly odd, because I kept expecting Kim Jong Il to say "Respect my authority!" - due to the limited voice range of Trey Parker he sounded like a Korean Cartman. I insisted on staying to the end in case of extras, so we got to hear a song about Kim Jong Il being exiled to his home planet, where the cockroaches were at war with the giant bees...

Afterwards in the carpark we spotted a lonely trolley, so since there was noone around I got Jimmy to tow me along the carpark in it, holding onto the windscreen wiper of his car. Then we did it again, so I could film with his camera :D

In 5 hours I head off to Warminster for my 3 day PIOFV, which should be a test of my fitness, if nothing else. It's not an assesment of any sort, unlike all the other things I'm lined up to do this year, but there is a fitness test to demonstrate the requirements for taking the Regular Commision Board(RCB). Good thing I'm not booked in for the RCB briefing until the 11th of April...

Saturday, January 22, 2005

The Ringwraith

Quote of the moment: "I saw Mrs Short in Tesco... I had to duck down behind my trolley and pretend to fiddle with a box while she drifted across the end of the aisle like a ringwraith..." - For some reason my parents found that highly entertaining!

I'm watching the Tsunami Aid concert on tv. Snowpatrol were just on, and there was a shot panning across the crowd, full on people waving red glowsticks in time to the music, and one n00b waving his mobile phone with the screen lit up. [Sighs]. The singer was standing there looking very nervous, then everyone started singing along to Run and this huuuge grin spread across his face... It was like watching the star of an infant school play get his first applause.

Where is this concert? The Millenium Stadium in Cardiff, capital of ownage for the forseeable future. I reckon my mind is pretty well made up :D

[Edit 22:45 - MSN has launched its own blog service, called Spaces. I think they need to accept that Google owns them...]

Bill Bailey

Quote of the moment: "Little Chefs were actually build in ancient times on ley lines, and it was only recently that they were linked up by motorways." - Bill Bailey (Bill Bailey: Part Troll)

Yes, indeed. As you probably haven't noticed, I've started compiling a list of "Interesting Reading", aka blogs which AREN'T written like tHiS. What is that all about anyway?! i'M gOiNg To WrItE tHiS sTuPiDlY tO mAkE iT dElIbErAtElY aNnOyInG. Do these people believe there's a specifically non-capitalised letter shortage? I'll send Prill around to slap them too!

Back to the point - or vague theme, to be more accurate (did you like that juxtaposition of opposites? :p) - for some reason all the blogs I have listed there so far begin with 'B'. Strange...

Another classic from Bill: "In Britain, it's not the taking part, it's the bleak sense of despair that counts."

That reminds me: in the news at the moment, a 16 year old goth was convicted of killing his 14 year old girlfriend, then slashing at her corpse until it resembled a Marilyn Manson painting. CHEER UP GOTH? And how!

Friday, January 21, 2005

End of Exams... Take 2

Quote of the moment: "A man, weighing 80kg, starts climbing the ladder. How far up the ladder is he when it slips?" - My M2 paper.

At least it's over... My life gets even more empty! Hurrah! Someone slap me: I'm actually wishing I was working at uni. Lazy Will isn't supposed to be like this!

M2, by the way, wasn't great. The first 4 questions were fine... 5 was about a car on a ramp (circular motion), so I skipped to 6, which was projectiles colliding in mid-air, with cofficient of restitution blah-blah, and then find the direction and speed of impact. Unusual, but a doddle, especially because the numbers were nice and came out whole for the most part. 7 was about a ladder leaning against a wall: find the normal reactions, then the friction. Then the bit quoted at the top, which I didn't have time to even start, because I went back and did 5, which was almost as poo as the last part of 7.

To summarise: I needed to get a decent 90% or so to have a good chance at an A. Unlikely, as I said before, and my luck wasn't in... Still, nothing wrong with a B in maths, eh Rob m8?! It's enough to go to my first choice uni, so all I have to do is decide which one that is! [Rolls eyes]

Eggers Alert

No post last night, breaking a prolific run of daily posts that lasted 2 weeks. I was feeling far too emo, and I thought I'd be kind and not inflict it on everyone.
I'm now sitting in college 'preparing' for my final exam, M2. Exciting stuff. At least I'll be able to beat Prill in something... :D

P.S. I think I saw Eggers in Cambridge yesterday... At least, I saw a light blue Peugeot hatchback, as owned by Eggers, pulling out of the road by the college. Then the passenger leaned right up to the window to look left at the junction, and it looked like Mrs Eggers... How rare!

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

Run, Forest...

Quote of the moment:
"I comment like I sh*t. All the time and everywhere." - Me

[Yawns...] Went running this morning, and had a hour of physio this evening. Go me! I've been running pretty much every 2nd day for the last fortnight, between 2 and 4km each time. According to the physio (who was amazed at the sudden change) I'm not stretching enough afterwards(true), hence my calves aching all the time. Fun all round...

PIOFV (Potential Infantry Officer Familiarisation Visit) is Monday to Wednesday...

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

The Great Debate

Quote of the moment: "The enemy cannot press a button when you have disabled his hand!" - Starship Troopers.

Oh, the irony... There was an advert for becoming an Army Cadet Instructor in the break!

Now, I have a major decision to make. I'm pretty certain of getting at least a B in my exams, and so I'll fulfill the BCC offers I got from Bath and Cardiff. Tis time to choose...

Type:
Bath: Campus, departments along a promenade (central walkway).
Cardiff: 'City', departments spread along a road.

Size
Bath: 7,000 students.
Cardiff: 22,000 students.

Position:
Bath: At the top of a hill above the city.
Cardiff: Near the city centre.

1st yr accommodation:
Bath: On campus, networked.
Cardiff: Blocks mostly along the university road, computer rooms in engineering block.

2nd yr+ housing:
Bath: In the suburbs of the city, mostly down in the valley.
Cardiff: In the triangle formed between the university road and the M4, known as the "student village".

Greenery
Bath: Surrounded by the stuff.
Cardiff: Bute Park is the other side of the university road.

Sports
Bath: Olympic Training village on campus, complete with 50m pool, dojo, the works. In top southern university leagues for most sports.
Cardiff: Pitches 5 minute walk, overflow pitches 15 minutes. Inter-departmental rugby matches.

University Officer Training Corps (UOTC)
Bath: None, must join Bristol OTC. Must commute every week for training.
Cardiff: Own, based at Maindy Barracks, at far tip of 'student village' triangle. Joint exercises and expeditions with other 3 OTCs from Wales.

Entertainment
Bath: A couple of clubs, more in Bristol.
Cardiff: Millenium Stadium for sports, plenty of gigs.

Union
Bath: Small, compact.
Cardiff: Huge, sprawling, occupies the former Cardiff Train Station.

For me, Cardiff is winning until here. However, here's the crunch:

Department
Bath: Unique department of Architecture and Civil Engineering.
Cardiff: 1st in the Times league table for the last 3 years.

COURSE
Bath: Combined with the architects for the first year. From then on, projects involve cooperation between the architecture and engineering students, simulating real-life projects. Engineering students also learn the basics of architecture, its history and the aesthetics of buildings. (The architects do the reverse, including the physics of buildings). The whole department is focused around design, not the actual building work. The whole course - 60 per year -is architectural(structural) engineering orientated.
Cardiff: Combined all-areas engineering for the first year. Architectural engineering is a subset of civil engineering, with 15 'arcs' and 60 straight 'civils' per year. 'Arcs' do three quarters of the same modules, and instead of the enviromental and hydrological ones (drainage and dams) they go over to the Architecture school for basic modules there. End of 3rd (and 4th, for MEng) year projects involve cooperation between the arc. engineers and the architecture students.

It doesn't sound that bad when written down! The main issue is being a minority subset, instead of everyone doing it: the same 15 people for 3 or 4 years could be a real pain in the bee-hind. Plus the Bath course in just cool... like doing Architecture, but grounded in physics instead of art/design. Instead, the Cardiff course is a much more broadly engineering sort. However, that could be more useful if I make it into the Royal Engineers, as practical and hands on is what they're about.

Overall:
Bath wins on Type, 1st year accomodation, Greenery, and Course.
Cardiff wins on Position, 2nd year+ housing, UOTC, Entertainment and Union.
I'm not much fussed about the size, and I'd call Sports and Department a draw.

Basically it seems Cardiff would be more fun!

Monday, January 17, 2005

Retro-Fest

Quote of the moment:
You are a drumstick
Absolutely insane. That is how most would describe you. You aren't afraid to take risks, and enjoy putting yourself in strange situations. Most people hang out with you because of your hilarious sense of humour. You light up any bad situation, and can help all of your friends with their problems, except for your own. Because of this, you enjoy being around people like you. Many shut you out for your very weird, random personality, but honestly, you shouldn't care.

Most compatible with: Guitar, and another drumstick.

Click here -- What Random Object Represents Your Inner Self?


Thanks for that, Prill m8. Apparently I'm 71% compatible with Prill on the Love Calculator, more than double what she gets with Jimmy... Mwahaha, I am irresistable!

In the news today: A woman gives birth at 67. Plain silly. She had retro-menopausal treatment, then artificial insemination, and was original pregnant with triplets, but had a caesarian section after the second child died in the womb. It's totally bizarre... You can see from the interviews with her that she's too old and frail to deal with a lively child at the moment, let alone in eight years time when she'll be 75... Fortunately it's a girl, because if it had been a boy then she would be overwhelmed! The whole thing is bizarre... I don't think fertility treatment should be available after the age of 50, maximum, and certainly not past the age of menopause if that's greater. If she wanted a child, she should have adopted.

Changing the topic completely, I can at last get back on messenger! Hurrah! This is due to Sarah's laptop having broken down and her stealing mine to take into school. She's supposed to take it to Jesus(Ant) to get the online login problem fixed though, and meanwhile I'm using my doddery desktop. It's great fun! I've discovered some absolute classics, such as Nukes 3D, Wolfenstein, Elastomania, GTA(the original)... Most excellent!

Sunday, January 16, 2005

Blog Ballot

Quote of the moment:
"Kazass has said I'm not allowed to do serious blogs any more cos they are "wierd" so I have decided not to. It's obviously totally my choice" - Will T

Following on from Will T's theme of emo/diary/random comments style posts, I was pondering the relative merits of long posts vs short posts while having my lunch. Yes, I was very bored. So:

Post length
What type of post is better?

Regular, medium length (Prill)
Regular, mostly short (Will P, Vince)
Occasional, enormously long (Podgy)
Sporadic, short (Will T)
Occasional, medium (Jimmy, Kaz)
Random time, random length (Rob)
Very rare, medium (Anna, Harry)
I think I'll vote Rob :D

Saturday, January 15, 2005

Rusty Review

Quote of the moment:
"I know this may sound wrong, but seeing those bombs explode was a treat for the eyes" - a Luftwaffe pilot in Blitz: Bombing and Total War.

The feeling of this rusty kettle against my salad fingers... LOL.

I had my first review at Tesco today. Apparently I'm doing wonderfully, apart from making the occasional heap of stuff in the aisle when nothing will fit out on the shelves. Unfortunately, due to the budget being at full stretch already, they can't take me on for more hours for the next couple of months. Since Camp America runs from the start of June, 4 months away, I either have to get off my arse and write begging letters to engineering companies, or just look for a job somewhere like Cineworld. Mmm... cheap cinema tickets...

[Edit 23:45 - New Weeblson and Bobmansdottir! History 6 - The Vikings! Described by Rob as "a cross between me and Salad Fingers". Now, I off to do some pillaging... :p]

Friday, January 14, 2005

Lo Generic Busted Fan!

Quote of the moment: "Alright! Time for a crime spree!" - Snake, the uber-dude of The Simpsons.

I saw Will T's mum in Tesco, with Edward pushing the trolley in his spanky blue FKS uniform. I think a Tesco uniform is almost as good an invisibility cloak as a bundle of Big Issues!

Jimmy's Hogmanay pics are awesome... except for one, with stilettos in. I think that should be restricted in case people get traumatised.

Tragic news: Busted have split up! The guy with the enormous eyebrows (Charlie) has left to be an "indie-kid" (according to the ITV news) in Fightstar. Better than an emo-kid, at least!

"Fightstar will perform a special showcase gig during Crash at Warwick Students' Union" - Warwick SU. Funny that... I swear someone was telling me last night how he was going to the Sh**estar gig so he could pull an underage Busted fan...

Biscuits!

Quote of the moment:
Psychological research carried out in supermarket biscuit aisles has revealed that you can tell a person's personality from their favourite biscuit.

According the Emeritus Professor of Biscuitology, the following main groupings have been identified:

Dull: (E.g. digestive, rich tea) For masochists, who like to punish their taste-buds. Into bondage.

Plain: (E.g. Hob-Nob, 'Nice') For purists, who like things simple. Probably have white-painted
(or Symbolistic White :p) walls.

Filled: (E.g. Custard creams, Jammy dodgers) For people who like surprises. Likes going out without underwear on.

Iced: (E.g. Party rings) For people who like displaying their assets. Likes to wear large amounts of 'bling'.

Chocolate covered: (E.g. Chocolate Hob-Nob/digestive) For people who like luxury. Has a cupboardful of beauty products (especially if male).

Some small specialised groups have also been observed, for example:

Ginger Nuts: For active people. Is into naturism.

However, one select group stood out from the rest:

JAFFA CAKES: For people who are destined to rule. If still pining for the special edition totally chocolate covered ones, destined to be world leader.

Long live the biscuit revolution!


My contribution to the newstudent.org forums. Place your bets now!

I just finished my P3 exam. It sucked! I couldn't do question 2 or 3! Oh dear! I could do most of the rest of it, but still, compared to the papers I did this week it was evil! I predict 60% maximum. Still, if I managed 90+ on P1 and I get 90+ on M2, an A is possible... but improbable.

Thursday, January 13, 2005

League Tables

Quote of the moment: "Telford scored an average of 760.3 points per student, more than 100 points better than its nearest rival" - The Times School Report, published today.

According to the new way of calculating the league tables, all GCSE level qualifications are taken into account, not just the best 8 as done previously. Hence Thomas Telford School has managed to leapfrog everyone else, because pupils there take an online GNVQ in "Information and Communication Technology" in addition to their GCSEs. Wow... I'm speechless. How impressive. They know how to use the internet.

Obviously schools that focus on subjects such as maths, languages and physics aren't particularly impressed, and with obvious reason. A comprehensive with pupils who get the equivalent of 12 A* to C grades is judged as doing better than independant and grammar schools with pupils getting all A and A* grades in academic subjects. I'm sure they are doing better for their pupils, but it would be stupid to pretend that a pupil from Telford with the equivalent of 12 B grades would be considered by any university worth the name to be better than someone with, say, 5 A*s, 3 As and a B. I think Jimmy wins:

YA!

An extra bonus video for your viewing pleasure:
Prill in her rocking chair

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

A Land In Turmoil

Quote of the moment: Which TV series began each episode with the words "In the time of ancient gods, warlords, and kings, a land in turmoil cried out for a hero"? - The Weakest Link. Prize for anyone who beats Jim to the correct answer(without using Google) :D

I went running again today... 3km in 15mins... go me! While I was lounging around afterwards Grange Hill came on, and 'Chalky', the guy who was in my platoon on my Frimley Leadership Course is still there! I'm guessing his character must be in the year below him(and most of us, apart from scrawny boy Will T). Anyway, I dug out my platoon photo, et voila:



Owen is the guy who was also on my aborted parachute course, and (although I didn't know it at the time) was going out with Paddy's little sister the second time I met him! 'Pimms man' was the lieutenant, who took a can with him to drink while we were setting a night ambush(that was accidentally triggered by three guys walking home through the forest from the pub).

Now more videos, as promised:
Doggy does Teddy
Doggy does Prillo
Doggy does Will T's head

[Edit 22:09 - My mum just announced that Zulu, our 4 month old puppy, did his first proper piss against a tree this morning!

Jim videos:
Hobo-Jim dances on the doorstep
Hobo-Jim begs in the hall

Enjoy!]

[Edit 01:27 13/1/05 - A special request from Rob that took almost 2 hours to upload:

"It was probably just spinach" - the original moment.

I'm yawning so wide I could swallow Prillo whole...]

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

Piccies!

Quote of the moment:"It was probably spinach!"

Here are the edited highlights of my pics. None from the actual street party, because I thought I'd either lose my camera, drop it, or possibly fall asleep on top of it afterwards. Apparently they will be here soon, or go here for a one-off now. So, in historical order:

Prill, Jim and Jimmy get frisky:


Live action Prillo-porn.

The morning after:


Prill gets frisky again:


Rob molests Prill's bear:


Jim begs for his taxi-fare to the airport:


Prill snuggles up with her new favourite toy:


Rob gets a head massage:


Will, in the wreckage of a chair:


Jim, having been warned about the chair upon returning from his shower, sits on it anyway:


How to perform a roflcopter:
'Spinach, anyone?!'.

Jim gets excited:


Rob rediscovers his Scottish heritage:


A closer look at Rob's new hair - a definite improvement:


The Last Supper:


That's not pie:


That's PIE:


More videos will follow when I've spent long enough online to upload them. Things to look forward to: The dog humping Prill, Prill's bear, Will T's head... Also Hobo-Jim dancing on the doorstep, and begging in Prill's hallway.

Monday, January 10, 2005

Exams, Day 1

Quote of the moment: "I'm sure that there was a mistake on that paper." - Will, just after his P2 exam.

Apparently not, according to Vicky! D'oh! I tried it forwards, backwards, with my back-up calculator (thanks to my paranoid father), and I always got the same answer, nothing like the one on the paper. Oops!

Other than that P2 went fine, fortunately. I owned P1, naturallement! So I'm on track so far :D

Sunday, January 09, 2005

Running Man

Quote of the moment: "Dip me in chocolate and throw me to the lesbians." - Jerry Springer: The Opera

Forgot to mention that I saw Paddy and Dan in Tescos, with attatched females. Dan's was very offended when I asked why she was wearing wellies - they were green goth boots!

News Flash: I went running today. Properly, for half an hour, 4 kilometres. Well, I did do shuffle jogging in parts, but that's still the most I've done since Crombies hockey!

Saturday, January 08, 2005

To be a rock and not to roll

Quote of the moment:

And as we wind on down the road
Our shadows taller than our soul.
There walks a lady we all know
Who shines white light and wants to show
How ev'rything still turns to gold.
And if you listen very hard
The tune will come to you at last.
When all are one and one is all
To be a rock and not to roll.

Virgin Radio All Time Top 500 Number One: Stairway to Heaven - Led Zepplin.

Somewhat belated given that the chart ran over the week between Christmas and New Year, but I thought it would prove to Podgy that her buying a Stairway to Heaven poster was entirely justified, and indeed utterly necessary. Hopefully she'll also be jealous that she didn't get to listen to it :D

The Top Ten:

  1. LED ZEPPELIN - Stairway To Heaven
  2. U2 - One
  3. GUNS N ROSES - Sweet Child O Mine
  4. REM - Everybody Hurts
  5. ROBBIE WILLIAMS - Angels
  6. JOHN LENNON - Imagine
  7. QUEEN - Bohemian Rhapsody
  8. THE VERVE - Bitter Sweet Symphony
  9. EAGLES - Hotel California
  10. COLDPLAY - Trouble

Some good choices, though I'd have gone for Where The Streets Have No Name at 2 instead, but it only came in at 43! Bah humbug to all the wrinkled old voters :P

[Edit 23:34 - I take that back:

Is it getting better
Or do you feel the same
Will it make it easier on you now
You got someone to blame

One is awesome :D]

Another piece of entertainment from Tesco yesterday: I saw the manager drop a four-pack of beer bottles... the wash hit both sides of the aisle, and he ran away ASAP because he had about 8 staff laughing at him!

I'm watching Jerry Springer - The Opera, and the tap-dancing Klu Klux Klansmen have just been on. Best... Opera... Ever... (I am, of course, videoing Jackie Brown).

I'm guessing from Emma's blog that Jim is back on the market too... Hugs all round!

I know Klingon...

Quote of the moment: "Worst... Episode... Ever..." - Comic Book Guy, in tonight's Simpsons. He is my hero(especially for speaking Klingon), and tonight's episode was most excellent!

Tesco today: I found out that I won the prize for guessing closest to the store takings for the Christmas week, due to my cunning plan of picking a number £1 less than that picked by one of the senior managers who'd know the estimate! Apparently it was only about £10 lower as well - he might be a bit annoyed that I won his bottle of champagne! Since I don't actually really drink the stuff, I've given it to my parents to celebrate my exam results - I hope!

I also saw Steve! I asked him how Mr Hoult was treating him, and he said ok, and that unfortunately he made it home safely from his parachuting trip! He looked very disappointed!

I saw a most bodacious Mini advert tonight, but hopefully so will you, so I won't write a spoiler yet!

Friday, January 07, 2005

Mr Anderson

Quote of the moment: "Yes, Mr Anderson."

I wasn't watching The Matrix, but Mississippi Burning, although Willem Dafoe does sound just like Agent Smith!

Good news regarding the left-in-Edinburgh list: I found my Bill and Ted DVD in the case of a CD I bought up there. Oops!

While watching the film I noticed a ridiculous number of magazine adverts in the breaks. One might be reasonable, but there were at least 6 adverts for 4 different varieties:

  • Build your own Cutty Sark
  • Collectable Wooden Puzzles
  • Collectable model WRC cars
  • Collectable Egyptian god figures
Where are the WonderBra adverts?!

Thursday, January 06, 2005

Sponsored Swimming

Quote of the moment:
Vicky: "I want to suggest to Floppy that we do something to raise money for the Tsunami relief stuff."
My mum: "How about a sponsored swim?!"

Due to an exceedingly helpful lorry-driver rolling his vehicle on the A120 near the M11 junction, I detoured through the countryside on my way home from college and rejoined the dual-carriageway at Dunmow. Just after I got on a trio of cars came speeding up in the outside lane. I was accelerating up to a decent speed, but they were still catching up fast. It was only when the first one got alongside me and I was going nearly 90mph that I realised all three Ford Escort estates were police cars! D'oh!
Fortunately they didn't seem bothered, perhaps because they were just leaving the crash scene and had had enough!

Wednesday, January 05, 2005

Poynton

Quote of the moment:
Bill: "Ted, you're alive!"
[Bill and Ted embrace, then spring apart]
Together: "Fag!"

Things left in Edinburgh:

  1. My huge mouse stabber. [Sniffs]
  2. My Bill and Ted DVD - I think I left it in Jimmy's DVD player!

That's it so far. More may well be added!

I went back to college for the first day of this term, and was shocked to find that on the last P2 paper I handed in before the holidays, I scored 57/60! That's 95% :D

I also found a drawing of a Pie on the top of a white-board last term. Being a mature adult I added Weebl yelling "PIE!" and Bob being blown away, with the web-address underneath. Pics when I upload my vast archive from Edinburgh(Drools over new 128MB XD card). Geek award, please!

I feel congratulations are due for the way myself and Rob tag-teamed on the rude comments on Podgy's update. Go us!

P.S. Looking down the cast list, I spotted that Missy (Bill's step-mum, 2 years older than him) was played by an actress called Amy Stock-Poynton(Married to Bob Poynton). Presumably the surname comes from ancestors in the village of Poynton, Cheshire. Ye olde familie ghetto, eh?

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

P-O-S-H

On the train back from Edinburgh today, I was sitting across the aisle from a rather pooooosh woman and her four children: Two boys of about 9 and 7, and two girls of about 5 and 3. Some of her phone calls were rather entertaining (I could hear them quite clearly over the music through my headphones!). They included telling the nanny to cook lamp chops for the kids' tea, and phoning someone to arrange lunch at Fortnum's to discuss buying 'guns' for the boys! She also told the younger girl to: "Stop being nasty to Harry, he's going back to his other house tomorrow. Yes dear, the Harrow house."

It's the posh posh travelling life, the travelling life for me... :D

I just watched Child Of Our Time which featured a small boy called William who is fond of 'testing his strength' by scrapping with his siblings, friends and parents. Hmmm... Familiar? His mum's even called Gillian too!

Also on Child Of Our Time, a researcher was asking kids to pick which of four kids pictured on a board would they like to play with. I hope Rob wasn't watching :P

[Edit 23:48

Emma's latest post:
"...my whole body still aches from weeks ago, although its all healing quite quickly..."

Jim's blog, a few weeks ago:
"JiM's Tips #2: Bum Sex"]

Classics

Quote of the moment: "Impressive, now release your Wenger: you must have sensed your defence was in danger!" - Drunk Will last night.

"Lovely whatever-it-was R2, fix me up another!" - Ditto.

Some more classic quotes:

Prillo looking at Lexcie's ancient pr0n mag yesterday: "There's too much to read!"

Rob today: "Goron mountain? Isn't that the one with the Presidents on?"

Rob, in his dressing gown at about 9pm: "Not getting dressed is the new black!"

Rob just now: "I hate my hair, it's furry like a muff."

Other notes: Completed most of Double-Dash in an all-day marathon. Had awesome huge chinese for supper, followed by heaps of ice-cream. Mmmmm... I'm a pie :D

Sunday, January 02, 2005

Hogmanay

Quote of the moment: "Excuse me love/mate, where's the cash machine?" - Drunk Rob

Hurrah! New Year was awesome :D

Went to Princes Street in the middle of Edinburgh with Prill, Jim and Jimmy. Met Rob, Will and Kaz. Rode on the carousel. Went to pub by station. Consumed 1.5 litres of vodka and coke from the plastic bottles in the voluminous pockets of my jacket, because it would have been too much of an effort to go to the bar. Started to act very merry. Went back out to Princes Street about 11pm. Wandered down to the loos by "The Mound", and had a slash through the railings. Went back to our spot in the middle of Princes Street, near the ferris wheel.

At this point Rob became convinced that he needed to go back to the pub, because he was 'just about to score when we left'. However, he was out of cash. He therefore spent the next hour until midnight wandering off drunkenly and grabbing people by the shoulders to ask them for directions. Hence in this pic you can clearly see that I'm actually both holding Drunk Rob upright and restraining him from staggering off to grope people while the photo was taken.

Stood in the middle of Princes Street doing Darkness impressions etc and talking to Kiwis in matching hats. Rob got very friendly with one, and she started stroking his hair. At 11.55 put Prillo on shoulders, then started trying to dance. Counted down to midnight, sang the bits of Auld Langs Ayne that we could remember. Turned around so Prill could take a pic of the clock tower to see Rob still trying to find a cash machine. Yelled "Happy New Year" at everyone. Jimmy had his bum felt repeatedly by a ginger girl standing next to us. Put Prill down about 5 minutes past, got phwoarsome massage for my aching shoulders. Was grabbed by a drunk chick.

Rob needed a piss, so Jim escorted him away to the railings. Everyone else waited for them to meet us back near the ferris wheel. Meanwhile Rob finds a cash machine and drags Jim back to the pub. We eventually phone Jim and discover this. Go to the pub again, find Scottish rock band still in full swing. Dance along for a bit, then they go off again and the cheesy music comes on. Dance along to Y.M.C.A. drunkenly. Leave pub, head back to Prill's flat. Pick up stylish yellow 'No Parking' traffic cone and wear home as hat. Kaz falls flat on her bed and snores. Rob does the same on a sofa. Everyone else sneaks around quietly for a bit then heads to bed.

Jim starts reading his martial arts magazine in bed. I insult it. Jim threatens to beat me up. I say: "You have insulted my magazine, and you have insulted the Shaolin temple! You must pay!" Jim jumps on me and grapples me to the mattress. Same thing happens several times, once filmed by Jimmy. Jimmy also gets a picture of me threatening Jim with Prill's red stilettos.

The Next Day:

Got up at a comparatively early 11-ish. Had an awesome Prill fried breakfast. Gamed lots, all afternoon. Played Monopoly in the evening, with the traditional arguments (:D). Had Prill Spag-Bol. Went out with Will, Kaz, Jim and Rob. Met Will's mate Phil, who is 6ft7 and makes me and Jim feel tiny. Went to Espionage, a Russian spy-themed club, with 4 underground floors of varying levels of entertainment. Had a vodka and coke and a couple of pints of Kronenburg, danced to 'Sweet Dreams' and 'Teenage Kicks' on the 3rd floor. Went down to the 4th floor and did bad-ass dancing to the R'n'B type stuff. Left.

Taken by Phil to an awesome little bar called Chasers, which had awesome cheesy music like 'Staying Alive'. Danced in John Travolta style for quite a while, to everything that came on afterwards as well. Left. Walked home, leaving Phil somewhere on the way. Got home. Started playing Double-Dash. Discovered I was better at it when drunk. Got the end of the vodka from the kitchen and had it with some apple juice, because I'd finished the coke at supper. Got even better at gaming. The legend of Drunk Will was born.

Meanwhile, on the bed in the corner, Will and Kaz were getting frisky. Rob started doing roflcopters: standing up and spinning drunkenly around with arms flapping. Will got annoyed. Somehow (possibly due to him being called a stoner) Will ended up claiming he smoked weed last thursday, to which someone (I thought it was Jim, Jim thought it was Rob, Rob thought it was me) replied "It was probably Spinach!" Eventually we gave up and went to our mattresses on Prill's floor, where we roflcoptered again about the spinach. Slept. Went to sleep.

Today:

Woke up about 2pm. Had Prill Egg'n'Bacon sandwiches. Gamed. Went shopping with Will'n'Kaz, then on to Kaz's flat, where we found Kev with an American hippy-haired chap. How rare! Collected my lovely sword, which is surprisingly long (nudge nudge, wink wink, know what I mean?!). Inspected 'hole' made by Will T, which is really only a little scratch. Took bus to Will T's rents' place, where Will made a special point of introducing my sword. Edward looked excited. Will's dad looked anxious. Walked back to Prill's via Will's old school, which looked rather fine. Waved sword around flat. Started blogging at quarter to eight. Jim and Rob returned from visiting Rob's rents and family with a lovely hat'n'wig combo. Jim got excited and waved sword around.

Apologies for the appalling style, sudden changes in tense, incomplete sentences, lack of humour and probable typos. I was struggling with Prill's keyboard, which is TINY.

Finished blogging.