Hail to the Queen

Quote of the moment:
It said that early in her life, the Queen Ant will be fertilized by multiple male ants, and will use the sperm from this one incident of insemination to lay fertilized eggs for the rest of her life. I know what you're thinking, "That sucks for her," but perhaps you don't seem to realize just how much this sucks. The average lifespan for a Queen Ant is, get this, fifteen years. So this ant gets gang raped once in her life, and pays for it for more than a decade by never moving and laying eggs pretty much 24/7. I mean, damn.

I'm so glad I'm not an ant.

- Aly.

Summer camp this year is apparently well below par. I'm reassured. I'm also on book 4 of LOTR.

Youth and Young Manhood

Quote of the moment:
"I got asked for ID at the cinema last year... for a 15" - Little James.



Summer camp photos from the camp's website are now up on my MSN Space.

Environmental Fluid Mechanics this morning wasn't as bad as I expected. Who knows? I may even have passed!

Cameron 4 t3h w1n!

Quote of the moment:
David Cameron has been elected as the new Conservative leader by a margin of more than two to one over David Davis. - BBC News.

I finally got the mass email saying I'm invited back to camp next year. My email address, along with a large number of others, was misspelt. According to the graduate careers talk I went to last week, any kind of work that involves "transferable" skills is handy, it doesn't have to be directly engineering related. I think I'll take the sunshine option.

Random fact: My flatmates, feeling both festive and drunk, took a can of snow spray stuff and adorned each of the communal windows with a Christmas penis. How scenic.

The Big Guns

Quote of the moment:
Still.. There are no FIT FIT fitties:P They're all too blonde and stuff. - Maybe you had to meet him, but for some reason all the US and Canadian chicks adored 'English Lee' (On the right below).


Still "too blonde and stuff"? :p

Also, for the benefit of Rob, there's Rachel in the red swimsuit.

Had an entertaining evening... Went to Aroma with Paddy, Hawwy, Rob, Jim, Fergie, Pete Vernon and Paddy's mate John. Everyone stuffed themselves at the buffet. Then hit the arcade in the bowling place and everyone was awed by John's immense DDR skills, honed on his mat at home. He actually had an audience of about 15 (including us). Impressive stuff. Got a pint, then chugged it (against Rob m8) before going next door to Chicago's.

Unfortunately the Grolsch burps combined with my straining stomach made me barf to release the pressure and when I emerged from the bogs I got escorted off the premises by a bouncer who thought I was slaughtered! How unhandy! I then walked home, thinking Vicky was still out with the car, only to be passed by her just as I got to the house. Unhandy again! However, my luck increased when Rob and Jim came to play on Jimmy's cube. Jim, the sneaky git, then ran off home leaving me with a tired and befuddled Rob m8. All in all a most random evening!

Just For Prill...

Quote of the moment:
"However I do not spot any fitties. Well, no fit fit fitties." - Prill m8 on my photos.


Mostly English counselors on a day off at Skinners Falls.

Better now, Prill m8?

A Photographic Trip Synopsis

Quote of the moment:
"Are you the real Will or the twin?" - Shaun from the Westmont climbing tower, encountering me on the Broadstairs high street.

I cba to resize the photos, partly because some of them have important detail and also I'm not wasting my time on something that could still be deleted. In chronological order:


My division of campers, the Rangers.


Me making a superb block in the GaGa court.


Near the start of a chaotic division-sized GaGa game.


The baseball game (followed by fireworks) on the 4th of July.


The boys side flagpole on the 7th of July (the Union Jack is mine).


The post-evening-activity fire from my first camp-out.


The fireplace, storage hut and 2 of the 3 tents at the campsite.


My hut, with mattress and mosquito net.


The winning lower camp 'sing'.


Jared, one of the kids in my bunk, in my rucksack on packing day.


Shaun and Kirstie, the other two climbing tower staff, in NYC.


Awesome upwards shot on the Empire State Building at sunset.


My dug and dammed filling pool at a spring in Shenandoah N.P.


Me upon my return, 2 stone lighter and beard-faced.

The Countdown Begins

Quote of the moment:
"Excuse me Mrs Poyntz, but I can't find my blue games socks and I've looked absolutely everywhere for them. - One of the terribly, terribly posh boys at Wellesley House.

I've just returned from Kent. Last night I stayed on one of the spanky new futons in the upstairs TV room/bedroom for Vicky/me. Sarah's the only one who gets her own room, since she'll be there the most. The house is actually about the same size as ours though, just with fewer, larger rooms. Both the formal downstairs sitting room and the TV room/bedroom upstairs are huge, plus my dad has a study the size of the sitting room here, complete with one door to the Housemaster's house and one to the boarding house, naturally.

On the shopping trip this morning I bought (on the parental credit card) a very important potato masher, a new pair of trousers and some new t-shirts which are a mere size L, because most of my current ones are rather baggy (both t-shirts and trousers). I also met Shaun, who I worked with on the climbing tower at camp, on the high street in Broadstairs. How rare!

I have discovered a handy Freshers Checklist to consult. It's overly huge but some bits might be handy.

Excellent

Quote of the moment:
"Party on, Wayne!"
"Party on, Garth!"



Guess what I got in Braintree today...

Whilst there, I also had a haircut and opened a student bank account with Natwest, thus securing a railcard. Since a haircut is slightly pointless without a shave, I did that before going, so the awesome 'bear(d)' is no longer.

Alas, poor B34RD.

BISY BACKSON

GON OUT



BACKSON

Shorn Of The Dreads

Quote of the moment:
Q: "How would you like it sir?"
A: "Take it all off."

Oops. I also let slip that I would be away until September, so the barber said he'd "make sure it didn't need another cut until then".


The beautiful curls are gone...


...revealing the shrinking source...


...and why I really need to wear a beret.

I actually rather like it. Better than last time, when it was just long enough to fiddle with. Now it feels like new tooth brush bristles.

Apologies for picture quality: taken with the webcam while my digicam ones are in the charger.

WILL GOES WEST

Quote of the moment:

Will Goes West
Possibly Good. Probably Bad. Provably Ugly

It's up, running and has an awesome picture grid menu with all pics stolen from Prill's Kr3w mugshots.

That Is A Good Name...

Quote of the moment:
"That is a good name and I would like to hear the story of it some day" - Greeting taken from The Borribles. An absolutely awesome trilogy. The second one was in the prep school library before it got stripped out and reinvented as a second computer room with a couple of bookshelves, but I found an omnibus edition in Waterstones and read them all in under a week. Awesome stuff.

The US Blog

What .blogspot.com address should my Summer Camp blog have? Camp Will Camp It Up Will Goes West Other Current Results

I've decided to have a seperate blog for my travels, because:
A) It'll be easier to go back and browse later.
B) I can keep it clean because my parents want to read it. Anything dirty and/or unconnected to my travels will go on here.

So I went to create a new blog and tried entering several addresses. Blogger told me they were all taken so I gave up and went to bed, but when I logged on today I discovered that the above three were obviously not taken because they'd appeared on my blogs list.

I wrote and meant to post this about 5 hours ago, but got distracted by drawing up a huge Excel list of songs to put on my MP3 player. Oops.

God Bless America Britain

Quote of the moment:
PWETTY DWESS! - Vicky's Leaver's dress, a snip at £205.

I went to Chelmsford as part of a family shopping expedition today. Sigh. The inevitable failed phone batteries and missed meet-ups ensued, from 11am all the way to 5.30pm. I did, however, manage to get my dad to buy me dollars and travellers cheques, while I ogled the fittie behind the counter in the Co-op travel bureau.

I bagged a hugely baggy pair of jeans in TK Maxx with cool stitching. Instead of twin lines of gold stitching, one's gold and one's light blue. As Prill would say, 'FUNKY!'. I also got two spankingly good t-shirts in Matalan, including one with ENGLAND written across a "Lion Passant Guardant".


3 x Lion Passant Guardant

The perfect choice for Independance Day.

Money, Money, It's What I Want...

Quote of the moment:
Average starting salary for graduates:
1. Medicine, £31,353
2. Dentistry, £26,236
3. Chemical engineering, £21,049
4. Vetinary medicine, £20,765
5. CIVIL ENGINEERING, £19,388
6. Nursing, £19,333
7. General engineering, £19,327
...

- The Times Good University Guide.

Hurrah! Considering that 3 out of 4 above civil engineering are uber-long courses, that's pretty schweet, especially given that unlike, for example, nursing, it keeps rising steadily upwards. My parents didn't believe me when I said I could make decent money as well as my sister! If my knee does pass muster, however, I'll be on £20k for the year of training followed by £24k after commissioning and £30k on becoming a captain, which is possible in 2 1/2 years from the commission date. B4D 4$$ :D

In the photo archives on the Camp Westmont site I recognised Tim, the previous camp-out counselor who was at the stall at the Director's Fair:


"Argh! I'm being swamped by Klingons!"

As you might have been able to tell from the retro title, I watched the classic Wedding Singer last night. Yes indeed, Drew Barrymore is a [prill]FITTIE[/prill] in that film.

Sing For The Kids? Ok...

Quote of the moment:
What we do not have let us make with an innocence disappear to him with time, him its much judiciously youthful inhabitant never let us waste night on dishes my revenge in 10 in 10 in 10 do not wish to be your more inaccurate key monkey one accident me become to leave rather as to suffer that me to become to be never your key monkey all that time to form damages than you faitessi all it him enemy his friend I become now and then to try to fold under the pressure wind to tear in top in D fine in 10 in 10 in 10 to be wished not to be able your more inaccurate key monkey one accident me become to leave rather than to suffer that me to become its him last key monkey never thing before I do not finish me never wishes more than me can install in one way or another in my head me still to point out jed particularly a word to say to you and all D Scheisse that to come in one way or another with him its thing one that troesten me me its to lock up yet there always and now me its being desired not to be able your more inaccurate key monkey freely one accident me do not become to leave rather that not to suffer that me to become to be never your key monkey to wish it be necessary your key monkey (case inside, case outside) to be wished not to be able inside, case) to be outside wished not to be able your key monkey (case not to want your key monkey being

- Guess the song, Rob style. You don't get the advantage of 'It must be Matt Good', but it's pretty piss easy.

Continuing the lyrics theme, here's the full version of America, Fuck Yeah! from Team America: World Police...

America...
America...
America, FUCK YEAH!
Coming again, to save the mother fucking day yeah,
America, FUCK YEAH!
Freedom is the only way yeah,
Terrorist your game is through cause now you have to answer too,
America, FUCK YEAH!
So lick my butt, and suck on my balls,
America, FUCK YEAH!
What you going to do when we come for you now,
it’s the dream that we all share; it’s the hope for tomorrow

FUCK YEAH!

McDonalds, FUCK YEAH!
Wal-Mart, FUCK YEAH!
The Gap, FUCK YEAH!
Baseball, FUCK YEAH!
NFL, FUCK, YEAH!
Rock and roll, FUCK YEAH!
The Internet, FUCK YEAH!
Slavery, FUCK YEAH!

FUCK YEAH!

Starbucks, FUCK YEAH!
Disney world, FUCK YEAH!
Porno, FUCK YEAH!
Valium, FUCK YEAH!
Reeboks, FUCK YEAH!
Fake Tits, FUCK YEAH!
Sushi, FUCK YEAH!
Taco Bell, FUCK YEAH!
Rodeos, FUCK YEAH!
Bed bath and beyond (Fuck yeah, Fuck yeah)

Liberty, FUCK YEAH!
White Slips, FUCK YEAH!
The Alamo, FUCK YEAH!
Band-aids, FUCK YEAH!
Las Vegas, FUCK YEAH!
Christmas, FUCK YEAH!
Immigrants, FUCK YEAH!
Popeye, FUCK YEAH!
Demarcates, FUCK YEAH!
Republicans (republicans) (fuck yeah, fuck yeah)

And now the new version: Camp America, Fuck Yeah!

Camp America...
Camp America...
Camp America, FUCK YEAH!
Coming again, to play with your little children, yeah,
Camp America, FUCK YEAH!
Backwoods is the only place yeah,
Snotty child your game is through cause now you have to answer too,
Camp America, FUCK YEAH!
So lick my flagpole, and suck my marshmallows,
Camp America, FUCK YEAH!
What you going to do when we come for you now,
it’s the dream that we all share; it’s the hope for tomorrow

FUCK YEAH!

Swimming, FUCK YEAH!
Water Skiing, FUCK YEAH!
Peddle Boats, FUCK YEAH!
Dinghies, FUCK YEAH!
Canoeing, FUCK, YEAH!
Banana Boats, FUCK YEAH!
Beach Volleyball, FUCK YEAH!
Private Lake, FUCK YEAH!

FUCK YEAH!

Soccer, FUCK YEAH!
Tennis, FUCK YEAH!
Baseball, FUCK YEAH!
Softball, FUCK YEAH!
Basketball, FUCK YEAH!
Football, FUCK YEAH!
Roller Hockey, FUCK YEAH!
Weights Gym, FUCK YEAH!
Horse Riding, FUCK YEAH!
Climbing Tower (Climbing Tower) (Fuck yeah, Fuck yeah)

Arts 'n' Crafts, FUCK YEAH!
Wood Work, FUCK YEAH!
Dining Hall, FUCK YEAH!
Snack Canteen, FUCK YEAH!
Infirmary, FUCK YEAH!
Computer Suite, FUCK YEAH!
Cinema, FUCK YEAH!
Bandstand, FUCK YEAH!
Play Ground, FUCK YEAH!
Laundry Service (Laundry Service) (fuck yeah, fuck yeah)

Strictly speaking most camps don't have all that stuff, but mine does and as you can see, I especially like the laundry service.

Kill Will

Quote of the moment:
"Give yourself to Bob" - The Weebl and Bob that was new three days ago, but which I forgot to mention. They've gone and published another one already. It's quite ridiculous! Fortunately the latest is an awesome Kill Bill spoof, which compensates entirely.

One month left until I leave. Hurrah!

The Barber of Babel

Quote of the moment:
"Incest, incest, it's the best, put your sister to the test!" - Even Bart's doing it, so it must be right:


Where's the necklace, eh?

I went for a haircut today, before getting a new set of passport photos...


Alas, poor hair. I was almost at the Boris Johnson stage!

Bit of a disaster, that one. Amazing, too, how shaving makes me look like a more youthful baldy. I'm considering shaving it all off before going to the US, but the kids might get (more) scared.

Stop This Flag Filth

Quote of the moment:
Rob m8: stop doing the dumb 1876 MIT test, they wont let you in 230 years late
Hulk: *130
Rob m8: eek
Hulk: no wonder you failed

- A prize blunder from Rob m8 last night. Personally I think I could have got into MIT in 1876 on that test, even allowing for the irrelevancy of the last question. Obviously the time limit would be useful to know, but obvious straight away were:

Question Three(Part One):
Hulk says: 64/121 = 8 squared over 11 squared, root = 8/11

Question Four:
Hulk says: 4x6x10 = 240. 240/8 = 30. 30/6 = 5 days

Question Seven:
Hulk says: 1 litre = how many millilitres? 1000
Hulk says: 1 ml = 1cm cubed
Hulk says: 1000 of them in a cube = 10 cm cubed

Question Eight:
Hulk says: 1000, obviously
(especially given that a cubic decimetre is a litre)

After that extravaganza of fun, the news:

William Poyntz, shortly to leave the country, has been sighted cleaning off the small flags that hung in his shed. According to Mr Poyntz's spokesman, these flags are for his jaunt to Pennsylvania. We have obtained an image of the flags, in addition another alledgedly also belonging to Mr Poyntz:


Rule Brittania

This flag filth must be stopped!

I was looking for updates on the Camp Westmont website earlier and decided, since I was bored, to read the '
Why Westmont?' list. Number 19 of 30 was this:

19. Disco-Dancing Center/Karaoke/Movie Theater/Canteen complete with free video games.

Rob was jealous to the max, obviously, then asked me if I was looking forward to Reading in retaliation.

The best reason to go seemed to me, however, to be in the picture at the start:


What a sexy beast, eh?

Another Lexcie Tea-Party

Quote of the moment:
Sir,
Three days ago, in an office on Marylebone Road, I swore an oath and became a British citizen. Where can I go to complain about all the foreigners who come here taking our jobs?

- The Times letters page.

I have a camp countdown that I couldn't be arsed to work out how to remove the year from. Go me. Go me in 6 weeks and 14 hours, in fact.

I went into work today and was only there for about 2 and a half hours, clearing out the kitchen completely - all the stacks of crockery, then all the ovens, shelves, coolers and worktops into the event hall. The scheduled refit, which there was supposed to be an all-staff meeting about tomorrow night, has been moved forward to be immediate, so the whole place will be closed while the kitchen is completely redone and the rest updated. This means all the staff get time off while being paid out of the insurance money, possibly including me even though I'm an agency worker. That would be awesome: about three weeks of paid holiday!

All the food had to be scrapped because of Food Hygiene standards, but it's mostly fine to eat, having been in cupboards at the time. We stacked it out by the bins and rescued some of it later to take home. During this re-enactment of the looting of Baghdad, I retrieved a tray of eggs, a Harvest Festival style box of assorted fruit'n'veg and a sack of potatoes:


Potato potato potato... with me for scale


Oooh... kinky!

Sarah's still at school doing something dull, but the rest of us went to tea with my grandparents this afternoon. My uncle, aunt and cousin were there too, with their new family car. They must be planning on more kids, judging by their massive Chelsea Tractor:


Hasta La Vista, asshole!

It comes complete with a very fine personalised numberplate:


Lexcie & Sarah O'Gorman

I took loads of pictures again, including this rare one with both sets of eyes open:


Guess what Terrance, I farted!

Tori then took control of the camera:


Pull my finger, Philip!

Finally, a very cute video of Lexcie at her gurgling best.

Fire In The Disco... Fire In The Taco Bell

Quote of the moment:
"EVERYBODY OUT!" - Chef.

There was a fire at work today! Around 6.40pm something inside the central dividing partition in the kitchen apparently exploded (although not with a great bang) and smoke started billowing through the building. Everyone had to go stand in the carpark, customers and staff. We also had to be ticked off on the staff list. At first I thought it was just the pizza oven again, because it smokes if the wood isn't dry enough. Obviously not.

Two fire engines turned up right after the list was finished and another a minute later. Ten minutes later another one came with a huge extending ladder on top, which was totally superfluous, and after another fifteen minutes yet another one arrived! Five fire-engines for one measly burning stove, out of a total of seven in Chelmsford, I think. At least, that's how many doors there are on the fire station!

After we'd sat in the carpark for about an hour and the customers had gone home (eventually including the pair who brought out their glasses, wine and icebucket) we had to go back into the event hall to clear out the decorations from the 'Back to School' disco which was supposed to be on tonight, along with all the cutlery and crockery which would need cleaning. Ditto both restaurant floors, then the waiting staff disappeared home and the kitchen staff had to clear out every bit of exposed food or ingredients from the kitchen and bin it. There was so much that the sauce was slick on the yard floor and Zulu licked my boots clean when I got home.

Since the fire had exposed and melted holes in the water pipes, the sinks were unusable. The restaurants are shut tomorrow and only the wedding buffet in the evening is still on, since it doesn't require cooking, but I'm going to be in for the daytime shift as scheduled, cleaning up all the pots, pans, tubs and tools from today. What fun! The senior chefs are doing the buffet and dividing the juniors between scrubbing the walls and acting as porters for the day. Some of them actually volunteered to help wash up the stuff which the food will have dried on overnight. Suckers. Sunday's hopefully a day off while they replace the entire wood-and-tile partition with a steel panelled one.

In other news, my flight details arrived from Camp America today:

From: London Heathrow
To: Newark International, New Jersey.
19th June
Virgin Atlantic Flight # 1
Check in 13.00
Depart 16.00

SIX WEEKS TO GO! HELL YEAH!