PIOFV

Quote of the moment:
"That's how superior we are to the English regiments" - One of our 'escorts', a lieutenant in the King's Own Scottish Borderers, while we were watching Braveheart.

I have returned from Warminster, "Home of the Infantry", and I had a most intellectually stimulating time! Anyone not interested in rifles etc can read the bit about me being shite at the running (3 paragraphs down), then leave a mocking comment about that and ignore everything else.

Train Monday morning, arrived lunchtime, recieved joining pack including a rather cool "Infantry Officer: Command Respect" mousemat. Issued with ancient combats (not me, I had my scrounged ones from Felsted), ate, started attending "stands", ie demonstrations or activities. Went to portable SAT(small arms trainer) range, which is an inflatable tent much like a green bouncy castle, containing a 4 man version of the Army arcade. It's like Silent Scope, except there are 4 of you, with actual rifles with laser parts fitted in the barrels. You fire at the screen on which there is a simulation of an attack, or an ambush you have set, or similar. I got 44 hits with 99 shots, and the next in my group was 11/93... :D

Then there was the signals stand, where we were in 4 teams of 5, each with a personal radio with the dinky mouthpiece. As the chosen captain I had to guide my 4 blindfolded guys out from the start to collect a cone each (We were on blues). Since the cones were all about 10m from the start, I told my guys to link arms and ordered them up to the edge of the cones, then one each to each blue cone, then back together and back to the start. Because everyone else sent one at a time, and were getting confused by saying "Turn left a bit, right a bit." instead of "Number 3, forward one pace. Sidestep one pace left." I managed to get everyone back to the start, and only one other team had even managed to get a single cone back! It wasn't assesed though...

After that came my nemesis, the fitness section. I did ok, I came about 3/4 of the way down the order in each part! Only about 2/3 met the targets though, so I was slightly under/over. Pressups and Situps was supposed to be 40 in 2 minutes, I got 38 and 35 respectively. Running wasn't so good, but I've only been training for 2 weeks compared to most guys who've already taken the first part of the RCB and so have been training for at least a couple of months! I got 13 minutes 51 in the run, which was pants, but I beat 7 out of the 40 people still, and none of them were even slightly podgy! The target was 10mins 30 though! Thats for 1.5km individual timed, following a 1.5km squaded forced march (roughly running 400m, walking 100m). I can probably manage about 11 if I did it from scratch, but you have to do the pressups and situps then run straight away... Bummer, eh? That's only tested at the main RCB though, which I wont be taking for at least 5 months...

In the evening there was a talk on "Experiences in the Infantry" with some cool videos, obviously (propoganda Rob m8... If you fall in line, etc :P) and one random one which was a contact with a sniper in Basra recorded by a soldier with a camera phone! Then dinner, with a choice of two roasts and accompanying veg and pudding... Mmmm... That's every night in the Officers Mess, and you pay about 75p per day for all your meals... :D

The next day we got to ride in the Saxon and Warrior APCs(Armoured Personnel Carriers), which was cool. Saxon is basically a truck with heavy armour, and the Warrior is a tracked vehicle with a gun turret from a light tank, which is rather more fun! We then rotated and got to see the new - American designed - Javelin anti tank(bunker/building/low flying helicopter) launcher, which was cool, particularly because we tried the trainer. It's basically the aiming unit, which has night vision and, on the British version, a 10x zoom. The Yanks made a weapon with a range of 3.5km and forgot the zoom... Anyway, on trainer (which can simulate NV) you look in and you see a computer screen with whatever target the instructor chooses, and you have to track it, zoom it, target it, get a lock then hit the switch and watch it go boom! It's seriously fun... :D

After lunch we got to look at demonstrations by the Infantry Trials and Development Unit, so basically all the new kit thats being tested. There was an ultra cool thermal sight for a rifle that runs off AA batteries, the new Underslung Grenade Launcher for the SA80 along with the Minime, GPMG and an AK47 for comparison, and a Scimitar recce tank to climb in. We also used the permanent SAT range there, which is the most up to date version and plays the attack sequence through afterwards with a cross hair on the screen where each rifle was pointing, which turns green with every missed shot and red with every hit. It's like an uber arcade game!

We were then bussed off to the Assault course, which we were, as usual, talked through, then walked through, then made to do competitively. I did all of that, then jarred my knee on the last concrete sided water jump, so I was told to sit out while everyone else was made to jump into the water jump, then crawl back up the full length of the course because they left someone behind on the wall :D

Back to the Mess for more awesome food, (Mmmm... Roast Pork... Crabcakes... Yes, I went back for seconds :D) then drinking in the bar and watching Braveheart. This morning we had breakfast, had a short "Was this any use?" bit, returned keys and got a bus back to the station, and that was basically that (though there were 4 of us who went on the train to Paddington, where there is a very cool Paddington Bear gift shop :D).