Episode 6: Return of the Villi

Quote of the moment: "I am Cornholio! I need TP for my bunghole!"

Taken from "Beavis and Butthead do America", just after the cops surrounding Beavis (I think) who has a chemical weapon in his shorts, ask what his demands are... :D

So, I have returned from my great adventure :p

The weekend was ok... 3 hours in the car to my Gran's... The 21st birthday "party" was civilised affair on the lawn, due to the lack of student friends of my cousin, because they'd mostly gone on holiday... There were in fact 5 of them... plus 4 cousins (including us,), one attatched girlfriend, 6 middle agers (My dad + siblings + spouses) plus 2 wrinklies. Also her brother, aka my cousin Nicholas: scholarship to Cambridge, 1st in History, and his girlfriend Claire, 1st from Oxford. They both work for the home office... Oh, the excitement :p

Having discovered that my supposedly intellectual cousin watches the Hollyoaks Sunday omnibus and reads Heat magazine, we moved onto the expected intelligent conversation... Having discussed immigration policy (Claire's "area") we got around to the differences between French and British colonies, in the past and present. The main difference seems to be that the British were mostly happy to use the existing infrastructure to impose their will, (unless it opposed them). The French however, considered each colony to be part of France itself, and therefore tried to impose the French language, style of goverment, type of justice, etc etc. The result now, though, is that the French are actually much more supportive of their former colonies than the British (so the knowledgable said). Ignoring the cynical view that this is only because they have trade monopolies to protect, in Chad, bordering Sudan, there are plenty of French peacekeeping troops. Perhaps I underestimated the French. However, the likelyhood of them intervening to stop goverment crackdowns on supposed "rebels" is still, I feel slim. But the threat might have been used effectively...

Rob can start reading again now...

Moving on from the political dicotomy, the next morning we headed off into Wales, towards Brecon, to have lunch with a friend of my parents, called Di (as in short for Diane). After another 1 and a half hours, at least, of driving, we arrived, had lunch, went for a walk. We stopped at a bridge, and Di said something about playing Pooh-sticks when we kids were tiny... So I wandered off and found some sticks... Unfortunately, I came last... Ooops! And on the second time, Ben (our dog) swam under the bridge and stole my stick. Grrr :@

On Sunday night, after another 4 hours in the car (oh joy!) we got home, changed, and went to Will's house, with a small detour up the road because his directions were a mite crap... Straight on at the Y junction and first left would have sufficed, because I didn't realise the "two cottages" mentioned were up the other stalk of the Y. Obviously not my fault, of course... :p

Twas quite amusant, watching Will and his dad bicker... And I was very upset at missing Rob's carrying of his team in the cricket :D I hear much fun and frolicing occured after I pissed off home... So I just hope Vicky kept her clothes on :p

Yesterday I filled in my Tesco application form, then cycled to Tescos to see what job to put on the front... Unfortunately they only have part-time vacancies, almost all including week-end stints, not handy seeing as I only have conjugal visits at the weekend... Though I could be a "Grocery Replenishment Engineer" from 23.00 to 08.00... Sounds about right for my awake-time! :D However, as yet I haven't applied for anything, so I might have to inquire at Dunmow Tescos... Jimmy, is there owt going spare?!

Today was not a very good day... woke up about half one, feeling t3h cr4p50r... The excessive exercise of le cyclisme, perhaps... Anyway, spent most of the day either watching tv or reading in bed... Was dragged out on another cycle by my dear mother, after which felt tres dead... On the plus side, watched a tres bon film tonight, called "The Experiment"(German, with subtitles). It centres on a psycolocial project involving a group of volunteers, who are divided into Prisoners and Guards. They have to play out their respective roles in a mockup prison, all watched by the cameras of the scientists. Obviously they go from amicability into conflict, then brutal control by the guards leading to an eventual riot and escape... The coincidence that the tall, blond ones are mostly Guards becomes gradually apparent as they start to dominate their colleagues (including an Elvis impersonator :p), and the Nazi imagery is further perpetuated by the main character, a Prisoner, is no more than average height, dark haired, and called Tarik... Overall, slightly overobvious, but very tense, and quite brutal... 8/10 :D

(Marks for the psuedo-critic in the comments, please :D)

A couple of final mentions:

1. I was looking at the Bath website last week, for details of Freshers Week etc etc... Couldn't find any, but was looking on the clubs list to find the OTC page, and also spotted the RPS club... I must have been feeling especially dozy, because I clicked on it expecting a gamers page (as in RTS or Real Time Strategy for Podgy etc :p). But no... tis the Bath student Rock Paper Scissors Club page, complete with tactics, club rules, competitions, matches vs other universities... Methinks me shall join! Lol... Well, on the off-chance I get into Bath, that is :D

2. Inspired by Podge's drugs rant... Something ironic: FARC, the Marxist rebels in Colombia, are supposedly fighting to free people from oppression, let the poor break out of the slums and be equal, etc etc. And their main source of funding is Cocaine... Made by peasants they keep like slaves, and which enslaves the minds of people in both their own country, and across the world. And many of those are the poor, the slum/ghetto-dwellers.

At least that was only a short paragraph to skip, right Rob? :D

Aufwiedersehen, chaps!