Beer Bomb

Quote of the moment:
"Well, I just got back from playing a long session of Lord of the Rings monopoly. My brave little pewter Legolas held on valiantly until the bitter end, when Gandalf the mighty swept through like a tsunami and claimed all of Middle-earth for his own. Mostly by putting hotels on everything." - The Ferris Wheel of Shame

Amazing what oddities you can find on the 'most recently updated' list.

I had a brilliant day at work today: was putting a final 10-pack of Stella on the shelf and the (badly placed by a previous person) one at the back wobbled off into the gap between the two sets of shelves. The bits of glass made it to the far sides of both aisles, along with the beer. It was impressive!

[Edit 00:49 30/12/04 - Ninja Pirate 2 is out now!]

The First Four Days Of Christmas

Quote of the moment: "Oh s***, 95!" - Vicky driving on the motorway.

Judging from the impressive tally of comments on my previous few posts, everyone's on holiday and therefore not checking much... Well, probably mostly just that Prillo doesn't have her broadband! Therefore I'll limit my Christmas epic as much as possible.

Christmas Day:

Woken up by Podgy phoning at roughly 7.45 am. Did anyone else experience this joy?!

A classic quote from lunchtime, when the older generation were interrogating my cousin - who works in the Home Office - about David Blunkett etc. Me to my mum: "Calm down dear! It's only a commercial!"

Marge Simpson's Christmas message included the following:

"In world events, the friendship between America and Britain is stronger than ever. You're like Mini Me to our Dr Evil - helping out in all our zany schemes to take over the world."

Boxing Day:

On a church noticeboard on the way to lunch with the other side of the family:

"Jesus is for life, not just for Christmas."

Last night:

Watching the Big Fat Quiz Of The Year:

Jimmy Carr: "What was voted the most influential art work of the 20th century?"
Will (quoting Allo Allo): "Ze Fallen Madonna With Ze Big Boobies."

I also found out that the BNP's Christmas party was a flop, because they accidentally booked a black DJ. Apparently "He didn't sound black on the phone".

Today:

Met up with Jimmy, Prillo, Kaz and Rosie at Starbucks in Freeport. Prill had a ride on the toddler school bus, caught on video! Something to look forward to :D

To keep you happy in the meantime:

Me trying to replicate Prill's efforts.


Girly shopping? Dull? Not for me!

Satan Claus

Quote of the moment:
"Santa Santa Santa Santa
Santa Santa Santa Santa
Presents, Presents!"

- The Badger Badger Christmas Eve screensaver, complete with aerobic badgers in Santa suits.

Is it a coincidence that Santa is an anagram (or typo, in my case) of Satan? Perhaps not...

Things on interest at Tesco today: One. A 6-ish year old girl had climbed onto the post box, and couldn't get down, while I was parking my bike. I had to instruct her in assault course wall techniques while putting my bike lock on :P

I'm now off on the first leg of my epic Christmas journey, to Felsted to have supper and sleep at my grandparents house, so that they can deliver me to somewhere near Wales in the morning. How fun! Plus my dad packed my stocking contents and took them with him on Monday :(

Next post circa the 28th!

Captain

Quote of the moment: "Pie control to Major Yum"

New Weebl and Bob! Captain - it's rather disjointed but amusing nonetheless.

I want to see the "History" Battle of Hastings:

Weebl: "Bob, Bob! Someone shot me in the pie!"
Bob: "Wanker!"

To see the kr3w clothes label stuff click here.

Nice background, isn't it?!

[Edit 02:12 - I thought this needed to be seen:

2:09:18 AM rob_quill@hotmail.com says:
[watashi-wa]necrophilia is dead boring
[watashi-wa]try incest instead
[watashi-wa]it's only relatively boring :P

Classic...]

Gam0rs

Quote of the moment:
"Henry Walton is now 6ft tall and his balls have dropped... Had you going!" - Will T

Harsh, possibly, but I rofled :D

Poor chap, eh? Still, going by Ed Hutley, who was short and squeaky at the start of the summer holiday and my height and gruff voiced when I saw him at Grease, Henry still has a chance!

It was me, Will T and Jimmy tonight... But fortunately Jimmy's phone ran out of battery so we didn't start filming anything daft. Instead we ate pizza (or Tesco chinese for Will T), played Perfect Dark, then moved upstairs to play Worms Armaggedon on the PC. Thanks chaps! Special thanks to Jimmy, who allowed himself to be persuaded that since we didn't have time to play on it tonight, he should leave his GameCube here. Spanx Jimmy :D

Film geek moment: I've just spotted Sarah Jessica Parker in a minor role in Footloose!

Film Of The Year

Quote of the moment: "The film of the year is The Return of the King" - Film 2004 with Jonathan Ross

Shocking, eh?

I agree with Jonathan though, in that Hero was a bit of an outsider. Undeniably cool though. So beautiful Podgy should have cried.

In other news, The Witness was on last night. Viggo Mortensen was in a minor role as an Amish farmer boy with a very dodgy wig. His debut, in fact, as I correctly guessed. Film geekdom is the way forward :D

Games Fest?

Quote of the moment: Ade Edmonson and Rik Mayall are splitting up. "We're nearly 50 and we're starting to feel undignified talking about w**king and knobs," says Ade - The Daily Mirror, quoted in The Times' column on ageing.

How long do you think it will take Rob and Will T to stop talking about w**king and 'knobs'?...

For anyone who was wondering, I did indeed manage to stay awake through my whole shift, despite having to get up at a very early 9am! I then had an exceedingly fun hour of physio knee class. Hurrah.

My mum and Vicky have now departed, which means I am alone in the house until Christmas Eve (when I have another shift, hence the staying here), when I get picked up by my grandpa for a Boote-House-Special(super-turbo-family-fun-size)Christmas-Eve-Meal! Mmm...

That means that tomorrow, during the day or the evening, if any crazy holidaying kids are about, then get yourselves here! Jimmy will hopefully be coming, if he doesn't take a sudden aversion to me. I won't be going anywhere fast as my car went to Wales today, and I cba to cycle :P

P.S. Bring games + consoles!

Pesky Kids

Quote of the moment:
"What kind of freak would fancy Claire(the headmistress)?"
"The same kind of freak who would become an OFSTED inspector..."

Teachers - Fun as ever :D

Also, from Teenagers From Hell: "This is Sarah Ryder, a 16 year old from Chelmsford."

That's the Sarah Ryder who used to go to Felsted Prep School, before she got into Chelmsford Girls County High (the girls grammar school). I think she was even in the same league as Poyntz's ma, mi and min, though in the year between my sisters. I also think I recognised another girl there from Paddy's 18th birthday, but he'd have to confirm that. It was tres amusant though: her mum agreed to let her have a house party, and there were cameras there filming it... Despite the usual 5am antics - throwing up, guys trying on bras, crap dancing etc - and the poor choice of music and clothing motifs - Slipknot being the main one - by the time her mum arrived in the morning the house was clean and the only thing missing from the drinks cabinet was "...the bottle of Malibu, which I'd been trying to get rid of for ages." You can tell they're the most intelligent kids on the programme, can't you?

In other news:

"Students running Saint, the newspaper of the University of St Andrews, are to undergo cultural diversity training after accusations of racism over an article that made fun of the Welsh." Methinks the Times should maintain a permanent reporter at St Andrews!

I was persuaded into working a full shift tomorrow, because I was the only person in today who isn't already working tomorrow(and presumably Tesco is busier than expected). It's a whole nine hours long! Can Will stay awake that long? Place ya bets now!

Work, work...

Quote of the moment: "Mmmm... Beer..."

Today at Tesco was thrilling! I was working on the 'Beers, Wines and Spirits' aisle for the first time, as I will be for all my extra holiday shifts. I saw Mr Sugden, soon to be Head of Elwyns, with his baby daughter. I got asked by a three year old where the cereal bars are, and had to walk very slowly ahead of him so I could show him (and his highly amused mother) their exact position. Then, just to round off an exciting day, I pulled a four-pack of bacons (:p) out of the packaging to put them on the shelf, and one of them had a hole in. I spent the last hour and a half of my shift smelling of Carlsberg. Mmmm...

I hope all those who were being indignant about the Dark Materials film fiasco will watch The South Bank Show tonight. The BBC are repeating the interview with Philip Pullman tonight at 11pm because of the resurrected controversy over the iconoclastic theme, due to the forthcoming film.

P.S. Did you like my impressive wording? :D

Gay Bar!

Quote of the moment: "Gay bar, gay bar, gay bar!"

We were watching The Talented Mr Ripley, in which the eponymous central character is gradually revealed as somewhat undecided as to his sexuality... so every time there was a bit of an awkward moment between him and another guy, Vicky and I started singing "Ripley... We want to take you to the gay bar!" etc.

In one of the breaks I saw the ad for House of Flying Daggers again - which looks cool - but they'd obviously lost the soundtrack in the post or something, because the music was all from Gladiator! How rare!