And so it begins...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/7165406.stm

Two presidents? With two presidents come two governments, two armies and all the joys of civil war. Merry Christmas Kenya, and a happy new year.

On the twelfth day of Christmas the rebels gave to me
12 amputations bloodily
On the eleventh day of Christmas the UN gave to me
11 sanctions pointlessly
On the tenth day of Christmas the Government gave to me
10 "rebels" shot randomly
On the 9th day of Christmas?...

Mega Happy Turbo Joy Joy Fun!

glumbert.com - Dolphin massacre in Japan

Worthy cause, but the oh-so-sombre Joaquim Phoenix voiceover cracks me up.

Play Ball

More craziness. Someone who was "not European or American" - in other words, probably a Saudi prince - has bought an Airbus A380 for use as a PRIVATE JET. How awesome could that be? You could have a swimming pool in it!

I found out today I got my first choice Mountain Leader course, so I'm now booked for a solid month of Army stuff from tomorrow, with the exception of the 14th of July, on which I fully expect to go paintballing for Jim's birthday. Get it sorted.

Oh, and Salman Rushdie? Should have got the knighthood BECAUSE Pakistan, Iran etc thought he shouldn't. I loved this quote:

"The British monarch lives under this illusion that Britain is still a 19th Century superpower and that bestowing titles is something still deemed important." #

1. The honours aren't chosen by the monarch, but mostly by the government.
2. If bestowing titles isn't important, why are you worrying about it?
3. We have nukes, you don't. This makes us a superpower and you not. Further evidence is demonstrated by us and our dear colonial comrades effectively conquering Iraq in six weeks.

Someone's a little bit insecure...

Late-Night Bemusement

More sheer genius.

The goverment wants to force predominantly white schools to 'twin' with 'ethnically-diverse schools' to stop racial segregation. Uhuh. Sure thing.

So they're going to force every single school in the countryside to bus their pupils into cities to gawk at the blicks? Genius. Or are they going to send out the black and asian kids so that the poor yokels can understand that they aren't so different after all? As for their white council estate dwelling urban cohabitants, kids hang around with whoever lives on their street and gang up on the next street over. It's their parents who try and place restrictions on them, and who move to segregated areas in the first place, but let's get real. This is not Derry or Sadr city.

If the government wanted to force proportional integration within city schools, fine by me. If they want to introduce the poor yokels to 'persons of colour' then make Trevor Phillips walk through every village in the country. (Preferably over hot coals, for being a cretin.)

A Chip off the Old Shoulder

What a load of balls.

1. The existence of private schools removes the burden of funding the education of 7% of the nations children. They're supposed to be penalised for this?


2. Private schools do not own their teachers. They cannot compell them to work extra hours in state schools. They cannot afford to remove them during timetabled lessons. Private school teachers already have to stay in school until 6 o'clock, teach on Saturdays, coach sports teams and run activities. Boarding house staff are never off duty.


3. "State school teachers had to teach more varied communities than their private school counterparts." Of course, private schools teach only white, upper middle class English children. How many pupils on average join a state senior school with barely any English? Yes, in some inner city immigrant communities it happens. But really, could most schools say they have french, german, spanish, czechoslovakian, polish, russian, chinese, korean or japanese students? What about ALL of them, plus jamaican, south african, american... In my U6th physics set of 11: Taiwanese, Japanese, Chinese, German.


4. Private schools have all these facilites state schools don't. Yes, private schools have lots of playing fields. So do equivalently situated state schools. In the country, fields are available. If local councils were prevented or didn't need to sell sports pitches off, more state schools would still have lots of sports pitches.


5. Private schools should take state school pupils on secondment. You mean like in the old scheme where talented pupils could win state funding to attend private school? The scheme that New Labour abolished?

It's just such a load of vague, posturing, unworkable, unjustified crap.

The Important Election

There was the trifling matter of a few councils, the Scottish Parliament and the Welsh Assembly a couple of days ago, but who cares about that? I was indifferent enough not to vote. What does matter is that Nicholas Sarkozy is the new president of France, in an election I would definitely have voted in. Possibly Bayrou, the third placed centrist eliminated in the first round, might have caught my fancy, but of the two finalists I'd definitely have backed Sarko. Break down the ridiculous French labour laws and generally overlarge state which will actually free up job opportunities for the immigrants he's hated by. Come down hard on crime. All good stuff.

On the topic of important, which T-shirt should I get?

"Civilian Casualties"

Yet again, coalition forces are accused of killing civilians willy-nilly. Yet again, the BBC shows its anti-American left wing core values. Yet again, the reality is probably somewhat different.

A dead civilian in Afghanistan is simply a body without a gun. Over a hundred houses were apparently destroyed. Why? This is not an Israeli firezone clearing exercise. This is not Mugabe cutting down on unemployment by bulldozing slums and turning people back out into the countryside to starve instead. This is house to house fighting. If the guys with guns run into a house and start firing from it and you've got tanks, you just flatten the place. If the women and children haven't got out, is that your fault for firing without knocking on the door and checking, or the Afghans' fault for using a house full of kids as cover?

The problem with invading Afghanistan is that it is populated by the most bloody minded stubborn bastards in the world, for whom guerilla war against the foreign invader is not just part of their history but their entire culture. They are Pratchett's D'regs. They attack at dawn because attacking at dawn is a great and glorious cultural tradition. In D'reg language, the word for "stranger" is the same as the word for "target."

Pace Gladiator:

"People should know when they're conquered."

"Would you, Quintus? Would I?"

Liberty, Equality, Perversity

Woman sleeps with 14 year old boy: minimum sentence of 15 months. How long a sentence would a 34 year old man who slept with a 14 year old girl get?

More importantly, why would anyone sleep with THIS?!

This is Iran

Oops. Apparently the Persians, or more specifically the Iranians, are upset by 300. It's obviously an Alexander Nevsky style propaganda film aimed at building support for a US-UK invasion of Iran. Sure it is. There's a Brit in the lead role just to make sure of it. Not a film version of a cartoon version of a Greek saga at all. It's pure fallacy that Persians suck at fighting and got beaten by 300 products of the biggest homicidal cult ever. They had 700 helpers holding another pass, for one thing. Besides, in the Will Thorne (TM) ratings it must be good, it doesn't have Orlando Bloom in.

Anyone up for a holiday viewing?

[All trademarks used with flagrant disregard for the holder's likely superior knowledge of the film, the period, the politics and Rob's mum.]

Don't Stop at Adoption, Get Procreating

Re: What Happens When Prill Watches the News.

2 mothers vs 1 mother.

Same lack of a male role model, twice the time and twice the affection. Ditto 2 fathers vs 1 father.

As long as the kids get a decent role model for what it is to be whatever gender they are, they're doing better than a fair proportion of the population. If it's a girl with two fathers, the deficit will likely be made up by the overbearing preponderance of women in infant and primary education. If it's a boy with two mothers, he'll face the same problem as a possible two thirds[1] of the young male African American population in the United States: no male role model, a cycle that self perpetuates.

I even have a reference:

[1] "Today only [one-third] of black children have two parents in the home."
Dennis A. Ahlburg and Carol J. DeVita, "New Realities of the American Family," Population Bulletin 47, no.2 (August 1992) 8. #

The Leaning House of Broadcasting

I totally agree with this Times column on the BBC's biased coverage of "Palestine". The BBC reports pretty much everything stated by Palestinian spokesmen as fact. There are no quotation marks, no "alledgedly", no "suspected". In reality the "facts" were inherently disputed though. However, here's how the Times itself reported the incident used as the column's prime example:

Babies die as artillery barrage hits families on picnic beach

ISRAELI artillery fire killed a Palestinian family who were picnicking on the beach in Gaza yesterday, as the shoreline was packed with people on a Muslim holiday.

Cynical, me? Surely not.

The Guild of Fools

Didn't Warwick SU kick out their Christian Union years ago?

What a bunch of 'tards. Why do they need to be part of the Union anyway? Tithe everyone from their student loans and they'd be rolling in funds. Not that they need them.


Aunt: [slaps him twice] Wicked child!!! Chairs are an invention of Satan!
In our house, Nathaniel sits on a spike!

Edmund: ...and yourself...?

Aunt: I sit on Nathaniel -- two spikes would be an extravagance.

Aberfan

Quote of the moment:
"Official commemorations of the 40th anniversary of the Aberfan disaster are beginning, to remember the 144 people who died in the south Wales town. A total of 116 children lost their lives when a coal waste tip slid down a mountain, engulfing a school and surrounding houses on 21 October 1966."

A reminder that accidents are far more of a threat than incidents.

The 'neanderthal' got his comeuppance. Black eye from Tuesday night, vague flashback of being in a headlock, that's about it. Twice in a week is pretty good going. On the plus side, it's beautifully coloured. An unrelated positive is that we finally have the internet installed and I've just bought a wireless USB stick. Wasting my life on Messenger is possible once more.

Primus Inter Pares

All men are not born equal. Humanity is tribal and rejects the "other", be it nationality, race, political affiliation or whatever, because the human race has grown upon the basis of all hunted animals: Together we stand, divided we fall. But there must always be a loser. Life is a race. Life is a competition. To come out on top someone must come out on the bottom. Socialism will always fail because on a small scale, helping each other may help ourselves, but kibutzes do not equate to countries. When everyone is equal and gets an equal share the strong are undervalued and the weak carried along. Survival of the fittest. helping the weak does not help the individual or the species.

What is life? Fear. Anger. Brutality. Discrimination. Discrimination is natural. It is human. It is animal. Looking down on the disabled. Looking down on the short, the fat, the short sighted, the dyslexic, the dyspraxic. Who will help me survive? Who do I want to hunt with? Who will hunt best for me? The strongest, the fastest, the smartest. Who will do best now? Who will succeed?

Inclusion is a noble aspiration, but discrimination is natural. Leave the weaklings to die in the snow. Compete. Strive. Struggle. Fight. Win.

There must always be a leader. There must always be us. We must survive. Not they. We. Us. We must be best, we must conquer, we must dominate. Such is humanity. There is no fair. There is no just. There is no honour. There is only the race.

Why recycle? Why go green? For the vanishing species? For Mother Earth? For the nobility of the cause? No. For us. For us to carry on for more generations. For there to always be an us.



It's strange what comes into your mind when you let it go blank. When the noise blurs in your ears into nothing more than the roar of the sea in a shell. When your eyes fix on the back in front, when your body moves in rhythm. Until you wake up at the end, there is only the race and the race is all about us.

DDR in PE

Quote of the moment:
West Virginia has turned to computer games to make school children more active to help tackle its position as one of the top three US states ranked highest for obesity. - BBC News Article. That's West Virginia, legendary incest hotspot, where the 4 legged kids have a big advantage.

In an interesting reversal of the stupid southerner stereotype, West Virginia seceded from Virginia after Virginia joined the Confederate States of America. In other words, West Virginia's the "northern" one.

Talking of secession to fight for your chosen cause, the Labour party's least favourite former member has died, just under a year after winning the safest seat in Wales as an independant, of the cancer that was first diagnosed during the election campaign.

Karma

Quotes of the moment:

• A Palestinian suicide bomber has killed nine people along with himself and injured about 50 more in Tel Aviv. The bombing, which came during the festival of Passover, was the first suicide attack in Israel since January. - BBC News article.
  


• Since the start of April, Israeli forces say they have fired more than 2,000 artillery shells into the northern Gaza Strip. - BBC News article.
  

Make of that what you will. As for me, I'm off to Cardiff tomorrow, or "home" as I called it yesterday. Am back up in what used to be home now, in Essex, rounding up my junk to take back with me. A mere two weeks holiday - woe is me indeed. On the plus side, I got confirmation in the post today that I got a place 'in halls' next year, after the disaster that was me house-hunting. It's not really halls as such though, because I opted for the uni-owned houses which are a good mile closer to everything than Uni Hall or Allensbank House. Tis like going in a spare room in a house except the others don't know each other.

Wash Away Sir Ian Blair, Kthanx

Quote of the moment:
I got troubles oh, but not today
Cause they're gonna wash away
They're gonna wash away

And I have sins Lord, but not today
Cause they're gonna wash away
They're gonna wash away

And I had friends oh, but not today
Cause they're done washed away
They're done washed away

And oh, I've been cryin'
And oh, I've been cryin'
And oh, no more cryin'
No, no more cryin' here

We get along Lord, but not today
Cause we gonna wash away
We gonna wash away

And I got troubles oh, but not today
Cause they gonna wash away
This old heart gonna take them away

- Wash Away by Joe Purdy, from the end of today's E4 re-run of Lost.

Random mini-rant, sparked by seeing it still going on yesterday: Sir Ian Blair's comments on how media coverage varies with the ethnicity of the victim and the ensuing debate: Cobblers. Media coverage varies with the wealth/fame/attractiveness of the victim, as it does with anyone not considered a victim. Thus, to use his examples, the rich white banker and the poor asian shop owner got different amounts of coverage for their respective murders because of much money they had. Nicholas van Hoogenstraten having an Asian rival property magnate killed: big coverage: the victim was rich AND so was the killer. Ricky Gervais and the identity fraud: he's famous. Similarly Jade Goody "forgetting to pay" for some George cardigan in Asda: wouldn't make national newspapers unless she was famous. Just to round things out, on the attractiveness side of things, there's "cokehead Kate" Moss who fills all three requirements for coverage and therefore made the front page.

When come back, bring non-politically-correct-full-fat-GM-pork-filled-made-in-Leicester-not-Melton-Mowbray PIE.

P.S. On the topic of getting washed away, Cambridge did exactly that in the Boat Race.

Back of the Net

Quote of the moment:
"MPs have voted by a huge margin to ban smoking from all pubs and private members' clubs in England." - BBC News.

Jolly good show, what-what?

Shut Up, Oaten

Quote of the moment:
"What would Tyler Durden do?" - a gem thrown up by the Bloggies 2006. Tyler Durden, for those who CBA to click the link and be reminded, appeared to be Brad Pitt's character in Fight Club.

One of the less amusing posts in turn produced this shocker:



Avril Lavigne looking like an actress in the Sienna Miller mould, not a girly-rock singer. How rare!

Amusing things that happened today, number one: Claire, having ducked out of joining me at the gym on Saturday because she was hungover, missed her second on-demand gym session - because she went to the wrong gym. Genius!

Amusing things that happened today, number two: being called "Mark Oaten" became a general term of abuse. Hopefully it will make the next revision of the Oxford English Dictionary.

La Neige!

Quote of the moment:
"Forecast for tomorrow: A few sprinkles of genius with a chance
of doom!"*

*Lots of snow (which, by the way, there's been plenty of here for the last two days). Travelling to Edinburgh on the train may be somewhat lengthy.

But you don't want to know about that. You want to watch the UNICEF advert in which the Smurf village gets bombed. It's part of a campaign to help child soldiers, apparently. Any excuse will do.