Severance

Quote of the moment:
"I wouldn't want to be accused of not finishing him off when I had the chance." - Laura Harris in Severance.

Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner. Not only does she take a shotgun to the head of one near certain corpse, she drops a rock on the head of another, to a nice bit of ballet music. Classic moment when she first tries to lift one that's a bit too big for her, too. Best bit though was a guy trying to shoot people with a heat seeking missile, only to see it veer away from them and blow up a passing plane. Classy.

Hurrah for Jimmy's dad. He's decided to lend us his 4x4 for going to Scotland, instead of using Jimmy's hatchback. I had to go and have a driving lesson from him today to get to grips with it. To get "an easier start" than going out onto the main roads we went bumping around some byways first, which actually required far greater control and was rather new to me. Quite fun though. He also showed me and Jimmy the ridiculous amount of equipment he has stashed in its cubbies, including two tow-ropes, five tyre irons, a collapsible bucket and a foxing lamp.

Tennis this afternoon with Will was an improvement on the previous episode. I've progressed from losing 6-2, 6-1, 6-1 to 6-0, 6-1, 7-6 (7-4), mostly because Will got tired. There was an awesome game that battled back and forth for at least ten minutes of deuces and advantages, before I managed to hold serve (highly unusual) to make it 5-5... If I'd managed to hold again when I was at 6-5 then perhaps I could have forced him to stagger around for a further two sets and an epic five set victory.

Au revoir kiddies... I march to Scotland on the morrow. 6am on the morrow, to be precise.

A Big Pile of Awesome

Quote of the moment:
"...and all those ridiculous shows on so-called "music television", like "Date My Sister's Cat" and "Pimp My Mom" and "Gyrate Suggestively For Cash While Having Your Bedroom Covered In Treacle By Supposedly Hot Faux-Skater Boys Who Enjoy Having Their Bottoms Stapled Together by Dwarfs While Nickelback Plays Loudly In The Background"."

Schweeeeeet. Awesome rant. Also awesome today were: going dog walking with my mum, wearing a (carefully weighed) 35lb pack (graded increments, doncha know) and making her yell at me because she was having to jog to keep up; going to Jim's with Will T and telling Jim's mum "Jim said it might be ok if we played tennis" despite Jim not being available at all - we figured if we couldn't get through, his mum couldn't, and warned him that he knew all along when he rang back much later; going to Will T's house to get some stuff and, due to his parents (wisely) not trusting him with the car keys and the attatched garage keys, having to retrieve his backpack from the garage via the back window.

The last was far and away the best. After we unscrewed the small top window with the handy screwdriver from my car, Will got stuck halfway in, the wrong way up. I then tried to post him through the right way up and nearly collapsed into the mess of rotting plums that covered the area, but eventually I, with the aid of the wheely bin, got through the window and managed to unhook my foot which was stuck on the sill and forcing me into a hanging splits. I wasn't really feeling the pain though, because my crushed nuts were still hurting too much.

A Worse Driver than Sarah?

Quote of the moment:
"Anyone for tennis?"

An eventful weekend. Attempted to go out to Braintree/Freeport for a haircut (another of these) and a present for Paddy about 1pm on Saturday. Eventually made it out just after 3, because as I was coming out of our side road just outside the house the car in front of me pulled out to go right, stopped across the near side of the road (like a retard, blocking any way past, instead of carrying on) and a motorbike hit his bonnet. It had braked a fair bit because the guy carried on in a pretty flat trajectory and hit the road about 5 metres further on.

An hour and 3 police cars, one paramedic, two ambulances and a fire engine later the motorcyclist was finally removed to hospital where he was diagnosed with heavy bruising on his back and nothing more. The firemen were there, by the way, to disable the engines so they couldn't blow up, not that the damage was that severe because both car and bike were started afterwards and ran fine with a missing bonnet and cracked shell respectively. An hour after that the traffic policeman had finished his measurements, talked to both automobilists and got around to taking a 30 second statement off me and asking if I'd be happy to attend court if the driver got charged.

The biker came back yesterday, complete with family, to give my mum some flowers because she'd been out there "first aiding" for an hour, which basically meant getting him to wiggle his fingers and toes and then holding his hand and making him lie still. Bless.

Paddy's party (to which I took a spankingly good pair of spirit level cufflinks, for engineering types) was overstocked and underattended, which meant more booze and hig roast for those who did attend, especially me. I did however manage to walk to the ditch and lose some of the excess supper, unlike Jimmy, who walked to the loo but later needed escorting to the ditch for a second round. Good effort, that boy.

Everyone was up suprisingly early, but I woke up with an obscene level of blood sugar, got so fidgety I tidied up (truly shocking) and then made people play tennis with me for about 4 hours, with a break for lunch. I eventually bummed off home about 6 and collapsed into bed at 11, which is earlier than I managed all year at uni. Oops. Woke up 14 hours later and have been playing MTW ever since. It's ridiculously absorbing conquering people. I managed, the night before Paddy's, to not look at the clock from 2am til my parents woke up about 9.

Danger! Danger!

Quote of the moment:
"Can you go here?" Jimmy, Will T and I can... 10 days left til Coillegillie :D

I got a spanky new tennis racket today (and promptly beat my long suffering Mother 6-4 7-5) and also this masterpiece: The Dangerous Book for Boys.

More Exercise Needed

Quote of the moment:
"It's like listening to the Cirque du Soleil being chopped up by their own chainsaws." - Jeremy Clarkson test-driving a Lambourghini.

Saw this and thought of the Prill m8. Short minds think alike, perhaps?

In the last 24 hours I have: gone for a cycle around Broadstairs at 2am, which was rather awesome, being completely silent except for the waves on the beach; played a set of tennis when I got up; cycled to the beach, along to the promenade to Ramsgate and back along the clifftops; walked the dogs along the beach; played another set of tennis in the gathering gloom with the help of some new fluorescent balls.

All fun stuff, but I'm STILL not tired enough. My dear mother has promised to drag me out of bed for a full tennis match early tomorrow morning.

Dancing Through Life?

Quote of the moment:
"It is said 'Do not meddle in the affairs of wizards, for they are subtle and quick to anger'"

"And it is also said 'Go not to the Elves for counsel, for they will say both yes and no.'"

I've started on LOTR :D Also today I did an hour's length thrashing in the pool and thrashing of a different sort against my mother at tennis. Haven't played for about eight years apart from when occasionally forced to in PE, but Wimbledon inspired me. We got as far as 3-3, 4 games of which were breaks, before it was suppertime and I won a tie-break 7-4. Not particularly owned, except that I always disliked tennis, much prefering badminton, and I was using my sister's racquet which was a touch on the small side. I think I finally was forced to grasp top-spin playing Jimmy on his spanky new table-tennis table last week.

I'm off to watch Dances with Wolves, so I shall leave you with this gem:



Everything but the last part... I'm happy to spread the joys of the Drunk Will persona outside the bounds of insobriety.