Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Dan Brown is Evil

Quote of the moment:
"Like Gary Glitter in a sweet shop, you too can have your pick of kiddy treats in London's theatre world." - Lastminute.com advert.

Opus Dei are probably pushing for the burning of Dan Brown as a heretic and I'm inclined to agree. I succumbed to the new Potter-style fever at last and bought The Da Vinci Code (£3.21 in Tesco). It stole my sleep. Stole it, I tell you. I started reading about 1am and finished about 7am. Damn book. Burning the heretical document gets my vote offertory donation.

*** SPOILER ALERT ***

The apple cryptex answer was OBVIOUS. Jeez. Rosy flesh, seeds in the womb and being the supposed start of original sin. C'mon. Newton just confirmed it. Also, faffing about with the backwards writing. OBVIOUS. I could read the first line backwards while walking towards the mirror, which was the obvious reaction on seeing it. PUH-LEASE. Atbast did have me flummoxed though. More of that complex stuff was required.

Oh yeah, and I got the uranium/a-bomb/hiroshima/nagasaki atomic number link instantly in Digital Fortress, so spoiler for that too if you thought it was only Da Vinci Code spoilerisms. Didn't know one was just a dirty bomb though, so kudos for that geekery.

Additionally, Dan Brown failed to spot that there's a big M in the Last Supper for MAN-BOOBS, not Mary Magdalen. Man-boobs, as possesed by the MALE disciple on Jesus' right. At least, I think that's the line the Vatican should take. Stop bullying John for his obesity you meanies, etc.

Final Thought:

Pain is good. Through pain we shall achieve redemption good race results. A good mantra to repeat when on the rowing machine - except that mantras are Buddhist and therefore heretical. Tsk tsk.

3 comments:

Koel said...

aaarggh, so tempted to read that and be put of my misery, really want to read it, mainly cuz most people say it's shit, yet it's the sensation of the century. Was watching a documentary about opus deii, but it was too cultish and freaked me out so I stopped. And they were complaining about misrepresenation because they actually take a strong moral stance against albino monks named Silas.

Koel said...

*read that post

Will said...

Haha... it gets worse, Will m8. You should have carried on to experience the full joys :p