CCF - Camping it up...

Quote of the moment: Hands off your cocks and put on your socks... LOL

Eggers m8, saying things like that only makes us mock you more... :p I'll put that in context further into my epic saga...

Chapter One: In which Will gets on a train.

A long time ago in a galaxy far far away, it was the morning after leavers and Will P went to Chelmsford station to take a train up to Stirling, in Bonnie Scotland... Twas the time for the annual coming together and getting bitten by midges, aka CCF camp.

We headed to London, tubed to King's Cross and hopped on the Och-Aye Express. We changed at Edinburgh, and as is traditional (ie it happened last year too) we cunningly chose the carriage on which the air conditioning would break down shortly after leaving the station, and had a very pleasant journey...

Having reached the wonderful camp, formerly the home of WWII German POWs, (the only changes are pointing the barbed wire outwards and building girls loos), we had a thrilling evening doing nowt. 

Chapter Two: In which Will gets his (latex-covered) hands bloody.

Monday morning for me was spent recceing the area of our little exercise on Wednesday, and in the afternoon I rejoined les petits soldats for the survival stand... Here we learnt moisture trapping, bear trapping, snare making, shelter building and animal preparation... The tres amusant instructor used the gutted fish as a glove puppet... :D

Now, according to the house rules, gutting a rabbit can traumatise anyone under 18, apparently... So, being keen to get bloody, I jumped at the chance.

MWAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA...
 
Ahem. Anyway, extra goriness was provided by the rabbit being pregnant, and the instructor trying to juggle the childs once I'd skinned it and slit open the belly... LOL. I am very wrong, I know, but he was awesomely wrong...

That night was spent in shelters constructed by les cadets, in groups of 5-8... And the seniors had to be split up among the yr 10, so I had a nice little workforce :D By lifted a felled tree onto the roots of another one which had been uprooted, and covering it with the sacking stuff provided, we had a shelter big enough for me to stand up in... not bad considering everyone else had to crawl... Mwhaha - SCHTOP. I don't know vot I am doing either... Soz!

Chapter Three: In which Eggers gets lost.

Tuesday was our range day. We started by being led a merry dance over two hills, by the aforementioned Eggers, when he took the instruction "just over that hill" as meaning go over the highest hill in that diection, not follow the instructor's Land Rover that had just headed along a blindingly obvious track... Fired MG's etc, and did a falling plate thing in groups of 10... Quite fun... We had a row of targets at 100m and another at 200m... the first lot got slaughtered, but the second lot survived pretty much unharmed...

Chapter Four: In which Will is a terrorist.

Wednesday was the day of our lovely little exercise... The "Enemy" (me, Major Jarman and 3 Univeristy guys from Aberdeen, including a Jim look-a-like who tied two red enemy armbands around his head to look like Rambo) spent most of it halfway up a hill covered in sheep and their excrement, making hot chocolate, next to a Secret Hideout - Extremely Dangerous (a S.H.E.D.). We were being observed by les cadets, who did fine until one group got scared when we wandered over to see why the bracken was moving and they stood up and pegged it...

I also learnt the exceedingly simple firing of mini-flares (point and pull the trigger-button), and when the O.T.C. trio woke up at last, we set out some trip flares around our S.H.E.D... We then settled down to await the imminent attack...

When it came, we knew when the Fire-support team moved into position on the hillside on our flank, because all the sheep ran away from where they hid... We then saw the rest of them because they stopped to prepare for the assault about 100m away, and Eggers stood up... clap clap... Rambo started shooting at him, but was then told to stop because we weren't supposed to know they were there... (Y) Yah!

So the cadets eventually ran up towards us, with smoke grenades going off, setting off the first flare nicely... they overran us and our S.H.E.D., tripped the next flare in the gateway behind us, then got attacked again by the other two OTC who'd run off up the stream bed near us when the attack started... They then headed back to their base by the other likely route to/from our position... Which we'd obviously put a trip flare on too... But this one was even better, because the cadet who kicked it did so so hard that the flare was pulled off its stand and was dragged along behind him by the wire wrapped around his foot... PMSL!!!11!1!!ein!ein!11ein!! 

The enemy, minus Major Jarman, then bugged out to ambush the fire support group on their way back... He stayed behind to look for his rifle, which had actually been nabbed by an overzealous Ed Hutley when doing a body search...

Meanwhile we set up our last trip flare across a ford on the track the fire-support were taking back... not only that, but it was about 50m into a wood, with a gate they had to climb over... So when they triggered it, they were penned in brilliantly... LOL... btw, the OTC had proper SA80s, not Cadet GPs, so they were firing off whole magazines on automatic... W00t w00t! Meanwhile I was popping off the last of the mini-flares over their heads, and laughing madly, of course... Lolathon...

Since I'm being bugged by my dear sisters to let them check their email, I shall finish this either later tonight or tomorrow... Ciaodles, if anyone actually checks my blog between now and then...