Camping it up, continued

Quote of the moment: "Oh yeah, I'm going on a major healthy-eating bash... I ate an apple today of my own accord" - Podgy

Super-mega-turbo-family-fun-size-lol-a-thon!

In other news, Will was shocked today by the generosity of his ancestors (the ones who are still alive, that is :D). More on that story later, after another extract from the saga of the first bit of Will's summer holiday:

Chapter Five: In which Will has a lie in...

Seeing as he cba to go back out onto the training area after the end of exercise, when we dropped off the OTC in camp, Major Christmas was unavailable to deliver me either. So I got to spend the night alone in the huge pig shed style barrack block... And was only woken in the morning when the cadets got back :D

That day was spent doing some signals stuff with a Sergeant who called everyone "Youse", and in the afternoon, a joyous time practising for the competition on Friday. Did the assault course in the muppet group of people who werent doing it in the comp, and cba to jump the water jump so walked through it... then had a shooting practice, then Tug of War... etc etc...

In the evening, a pair of pipers from a scots school were having a practise in a corner of the camp beyond the range... til a mob of Felsted types turned up and 3 yr 10 started mooning at them in time to the music :D

Chapter Six: In which Will proves he is a fat bastard

So, competition day. Our first event was at 9.30. So naturally, when the girls turned up at 6.45 to go breakfast (all in drill stuff already, as they were all in the drill squad for the competition), the boys were still in bed... Cue an entertaining scene as the aforementioned three yr 10 displayed their "Morning Glories" to Sarah Bolton when she came in yelling... :D For those of you failing to comprehend, that means the large bulges in the middle of their sheets... :D

As far as the competiton went: Drill - we won, w00t w00t, (yawn yawn :p), everything else, didnt do outstandingly, apart from the Tug-of-War, which we were owning in, but we got knocked out: there were 3 teams in our heat who each beat everyone else and one of the other two: We beat Brentwood, and only lost to Strathallen because two people slipped when we were hauling them back easily... but we got knocked out because one school had put out an all-girl team for the ToW to save their good blokes for the other things, and we, for a laugh, had lost the first of 3 pulls to them deliberately... So Brentwood won and Strathallen came second... but pfft, not like I was le bothered, just meant I could piss off and go to sleep :D Also, at the tug-of-war I was asked by the SSI (Senior staff instructor) from a school in the other heat if I could put on a Light Infantry beret and pull for them... I said wrong generation, my dad was in 1LI (1st Battalion, Light Infantry), he asked his name, and it turned out my dad was his platoon commander when he first joined the army... which was quite k3wl... :D

After that, the "pillage" party got into full swing... and I definately owned, coming away with a total of 6 garments of clothing with embroidered crests, and one Oakham brassard... Also, the older Oakham peeps remembered Joules as "that RAF guy who glowered the whole time." Lol.

Chapter Seven: In which Will goes home

So, next morning we're up at 5.30 to pack and clean out the billet... On the bus at 7.30, though I had to hop off and retrieve our "contingent cricket bat" as bought by Eggers on the way up... The bus was tres swanky, flatscreen TV and Dvd player with a case-full to choose from... So we watched Tomb-Raider, Finding Nemo and a couple of others I think, on the way down... We also drove right past the camp where we were last summer, and saw some other poor muppets doing the lovely up-hill assault course... Got back, got some very scared looks from the people staying in the school when we all hopped off the bus with rifles... Cleaned the rifles one last time, then put them in the armoury and had a final parade in "jeans order"(sigh). Then headed home... I stopped to beg the photo of me cuddling a sniper rifle off the pin-board though, which was nice. :D

End of the CCF Camp bit...

After that, got home, went and picked up the Childs from Bishops Stortford station, brought her home, unpacked kit, put out dirty stuff. Next day, packed stuff for parachuting, went to Chelmsford station with parent and the Childs, got dropped off, then parent dropped her off at the other station. Got to Andover station, picked up with most of the guys in the course in a pair of 4-ton trucks, (that's the flatbed ones with the canvas over the back), went to the Officers Mess at RA Larkhill. Very smart, as you'd expect. Huge dining room, own bar, etc etc... Sharing a room with a guy called Owen Larson who was in my section on the leadership course I did last summer. Next morning, went to the Airfield in 4-tonners, did morning's jump training in daft oranges jumpsuits (aka guantanemo suits, as we named them), then at lunch: There's a problem. For the first jump, you need 1.5 times the normal canopy for your weight. So although they had parachutes rated up to 300lbs, I'm over 200 so I was buggered... I'd have had to be 14.5 stone... OOOPS. The muppetous Captain who organised the course had even told the other guy over the limit that he'd be fine, cos no-one told her about the first jump rule... (She wasnt a parachutist, just a normal Artillery Officer...) So I came home the next day... bit shite really, but never mind, c'est la vie! But I will never be under 15 stone again in my life, unless I get starved in some Arabic prison... it's unlikely I'll be under 16... So pfft!

That's about it for the epic saga... Since then, I've just been bumming around at home, doing a bit of hedge-trimming, stuff like that... watching videos, playing PD on the N64, playing AOE II: the Age of Conquerors on me aged desktop vs me sister on her laptop... because this stupid piece of junk doen't have a serial port! So, as Rob said, pretty much... :D Havent persuaded her into cossacks yet though, but if Jim or anyone else wants to try then they can get their bums over here... :D

As I mentioned earlier, but forgot until I published and viewed, I need to mention today... Or more specifically, that I drove into Felsted (I was feeling too lazy to cycle) and cut my grandparents grass. Didn't take me long, maybe an hour, hour and a half at the most, and for this I was given coke + chocolate biscuits (ie all the incentive + reward I need) and also the princely sum of £7.00! My grand-rents 120><012! Lol... Speaking of which, was discussing his coffee shop employment in Tescos with Jimmy earlier tonight, or indeed this morning, and since he had to do absolutely nothing except fill in the form in order to get a job at Tescos, I think I might have a go... I have at least 4 weeks after the exam results week that I can work solidly for... (I'm canal tripping the week before that...). The only prob is that Jimmy's presumably working in Dunmow Tescos, whereas I would prefer Great Notley, as it's a 3 minute cycle... So he should drive to Great Notley and work there instead! :D Though we agreed my talents would be better suited to the butchers counter... :) Anyways, a plan to consider...

Meanwhile, that should have pushed me nicely over the 10,000 word mark... Go me! I know Podge is on about 80,000 and Prillo about 50,000 words, but I've been asleep half that time dammit! So the obstinate "Average Posts per Week" thing remains on 1... But I have 9 recent ones, apparently, though I don't know how they work that out... I suppose in the last month, because there were a few in the last week of term... Anyway! Enough of the Podgy style rambling!

That's about it from me... To finish, I have some lolage material from the KWS website... This is what Anna can look forward to...

Introduction
KWS cattle team is a co-curricular activity available to all students years 7 to 12. KWS has actively been involved in stud cattle and steer shows for over twenty years.Our studs consist of a long standing Shorthorn stud which has been successful at many shows over the years and recently Angus Stud has been established to compliment our commercial herd of Angus breeders.Students in the team learn all aspects of preparing stud cattle for shows. It enables our boys and girls the opportunity to develop nurturing skills involved with grooming, daily feeding and watering. This develops responsible practice for students in the team.Our aim is to give the opportunity to all students who would like to gain a knowledge of cattle husbandry and showing.

:D

I'm off to watch "The Three Musketeers"... the classic with Oliver Reed, Michael York, Charlton Heston, Faye Dunaway and Spike Milligan... W00t w00t... and maybe after that, "The Four Musketeers"... the second half of the original one long film, which the director chopped into two rather than have to cut it extensively... And maybe even after that, "The Return of the Musketeers", which does exactly what it says on the tin.  :p

G'night, childs!