The Blogger Button

See genius here:
Will's World :p

Tis classy! You just hit the button, a little window pops up with the compose box with the link in it, you type, you hit Post & Publish, and you're sorted! It 120><0125 |\/|3 50><0125!

The only thing it doesn't do is have your pre-entered stuff in the box, as it would normally be... but pfft! Tis a small price to say for the 1337ness of not having to log in all the time...

Quote of the moment:

Think of entropy in terms of beer: The more beer you have, the more disordered you are! - Vince

Poetry...

Quote of the moment:
"The rain drop dried in my palm and it smelled of metal rust"

Recognise it? If not, take a guess where it's from...

If you do recognise it, you might be wondering why it's here. Read it again. Picture it in your mind. What image do you see? What are the details? Not just a hand with a raindrop, but the wrinkles on the hand, the reflections on the water, the feeling of breathing it in slowly, feeling the cool of the air after rain, the way that the gentle dampness pervades your skin. Or maybe you already have. I did. That's why it's here. Physics or rugby it certainly isn't... A single line that evokes a trance-like contemplation of a suspended moment in time? Everyone's image will be different, somehow personal, and probably nothing like the true moment. But that is the art of poetry, isn't it? To capture a feeling in a line that's personal to everyone. Beats Thomas Hardy any day...

Vote for me!

In the face of not very much competition, my only concern about this prestigious award was that I've been away so long that people have forgotten my existence. Therefore I have launched a public awareness campaign, starting with the following, which was posted on the electronic noticeboard.

Quote of the moment:

Vote Will P for laziest leaver!


Having quizzed Pete Ward, I have discovered the source of the questions was supposedly Belch, only Belch and no-one but Belch. Apparently. Which destroys my theory of Pete inserting the Alcoholics Anonymous question for a specific person... Though the feminist one was blato for Koel - just be happy to get an award! I'm apparently in the running for the terrorist one as well - what would I say in my second acceptance speech!?

Anyway: remember everyone: vote ME!

*What I should have remembered to say, in order to put Will T in his place (A dozen red roses to beat, Will :p - That was 1 year though :p) is that today marks 15 months... Naturallement I haven't bought anything yet, but the suitably romantic item in mind is... a gel filled bike seat :D You can tell I'm going to be the "give the wife a new oven for Christmas" type, can't you?!

Blog has moved a teeny bit:

Have decided to change to yadda yadda yadda/~wpoyntz/blog.html, simply for reasons of convenience... not just to make sure everyone's links don't work again, if they've bothered to change them yet...

Quote of the moment:

IMPRESSIVE

- Darth Vader

That says it all, really...

(Fanfare) - The Poll!

Yup, that's right, the poll. It even had my colour scheme as one of the 6 selectable ones. I'm so proud. I'd like to thank my family, my dog...

Anyway... Y'all get voting: I require feedback! Apologies in advance for the annoying spiralling adverts, but it still isn't as bad as Will T's blog... :p

Quote:

Paddy: Just imagine Will when he's older: the Klingon forehead will be permanent!

Obviously referring to this particular part of my repertoire of expressions:

New site - new colours - sadly same old balding Will

Lo all:

Thought you should all be very impressed by my new setup: with mucho assistance from Rob, obviously.

The one bit he wasn't involved in giving me step by step instructions for was the colour scheme - it shows! Having used the impressionist principles of bold colours highlighted by combination with their opposites, (red/green, purple/yellow, blue/orange) I have made my site look like a cross between Blogger.com and Sainsburys.com... Oh well, I like it! :D

In other news: Will has given up on quoting depressing stuff, because there's to much in the world to be amused and made happy by (for me anyway). For example, my discovery of the "Blog This" button on my Google Toolbar: How exceedingly exciting says the boy, and so it is!

So, today's quote will just be one which amuses me (and has become the generic "Drill Sergeant" remark, appearing in "Officer and Gentleman" and others, after the iconic "Full Metal Jacket"). Thank you, Paddy, for reminding me...

Quote of the day:

HARTMAN
How tall are you, Private?
COWBOY
Sir, five foot nine, sir!
HARTMAN
Five foot nine? I didn't know they stacked s*** that high! You trying to squeeze an inch in on me somewhere, huh?
COWBOY
Sir, no, sir.
HARTMAN
Bull! It looks to me like the best part of you ran down the crack of your mama's ass and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress! I think you've been cheated!
HARTMAN
Where in hell are you from anyway, Private?
COWBOY
Sir, Texas, sir!
HARTMAN
Holy dog! Texas! Only steers and queers come from Texas, Private Cowboy! And you don't look much like a steer to me, so that kinda narrows it down! Do you suck dicks!
COWBOY
Sir, no, sir!
HARTMAN
Are you a peter-puffer?
COWBOY
Sir, no, sir!
HARTMAN
I'll bet you're the kind of guy that would f*** a person in the ass and not even have the goddam common courtesy to give him a reach-around! I'll be watching you!

The Great Scrotch Strikes

From: Mr Thomson
To: ""
Cc: "" , "" , ""
Subject: games
Will

You missed Fitness on Fri and Sat. You have not had the manners to contact me
and I can not find your name on the abscence list.


I am afraid this equals 2 DHDs. May I remind you another one will result in
you being given a SED.

See me if you have a valid excuse.

awst

And then has to grovel... MWAHAHAHA...

From: Mr Thomson
To: ""
Cc: "" , ""
Subject: email



Will

IWG has told me that you have a free reign to attend school when you are able.

Please ignore my last email and it would be good to see you at fitness when
you cam manage it.

awst

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Btw: comment for the day is below, in all its meandering glory...

The Paddy Lectures

This is the comment I wrote on the "Paddy lectures". Twas too big to be fitted on the comments page, so I linked to here...

I R T3H 1337!!!

tbh, i suppose paddy has had the longest time to analyse me (9 years), but still: my paragraph was the biggest: W00t w00t!

Major point of concern: accurate film quoting: It was private pile...

LOL. Though at least Paddy's waxed/gelled spikes/horns mean he is a steer, and not a queer, in the words of the great drill sergeant. While I'm on the topic, I recommend anyone who liked this film to watch Platoon (Oscar - Best Film) and, of course, Apocalypse Now(Redux if you want to understand it). I personally consider both to be better than The Deer Hunter, despite not having Robert De Niro using a flamethrower on a VC then pumping his burning body full of lead.

Just to disappoint Paddy though, I don't just watch war films... I happen to rank Lost in Translation in my favourite 10 films list, and the most action in that is the drunken karaoke.

Regarding my sleeping habits: I have a medically recognised condition caused by gaps in the nerve synapses in my brain. Treatments for this condition are currently being researched, but it normally goes into remission after a period of 2 to 3 years. Universities are aware of it as it is predominant in the 18 to 25 age range.

Regarding my laziness: pfft, tbh. I may only get a third, but if it's what I deserve, it's what I deserve. My dad didnt even get a third(class university degree) and he did fine with his life (since I don't measure fulfillment in terms of money earned).

Regarding Uni interviews: of the 4 that did interview before making me an offer, I didn't go silent and red in any: I just answered the question without bullshiting: something else a touch alien perhaps?

Getting a job thanks to my parents? Pardon? As it happens, the only thing resulting from my dad teaching here is that he knows when I screw up in the slightest way, and has a go at me for it. Not a particular advantage, surely? My parents somehow getting me a job is a bizarre concept: a teacher and a nurse getting me an engineering job? And neither would it help me "BE THE ARMY" either... None of the guys my dad knew are on the commisioning board, and I've already been through an interview to get a nomination for selection... Didn't blush there either... especially not during the current affairs bit: Knowing what's actually going on in the world isn't hard...

I may come to "love the army": I won't rule out the possibility. Getting paid to ski, skydive, drive speedboats, blow stuff up? I could come to love that...

I got a bit confused at the end of the rant: it may just have been Rob not being able to understand Paddy's invective, but I'm not sure of the point of "bludgeon me to death in the middle lunch"? At what point have I tried this? I have at times repelled harassment by Paddy in possesion of various sharp implements, but I don't see the connection... Ditto for "trust me, I will break your knee-caps if you TOUCH me again." I am not the aggresor, I just defend myself...

I am also amused by Paddy's opinion of Jim, Mr Shy Guy, as the open, direct one who "doesn't beat around the bush". He doesn't bullshit, but that's a seperate thing. WE should get the hang of talking straight? I'm not saying the rest of us - and especially me - don't exaggerate, but that sounds like lies, damn lies and Paddy stories to me...

I don't think spending one's whole life blogging is a brilliant idea, but having a forum to vent ideas and frustration is much better than letting it build up inside. And having a close circle of friends isn't exactly a bad thing, is it? Keeping in touch with them even after leaving school and meeting new ones at uni or wherever, is that a bad thing too?

Personally, I am ROFLMFAO at Paddy... and especially at the way he continued to comment despite expressing his apparent distaste for it...

I'll leave you with this gem:

"you all seem to be to scared to critisze each others faults and get thing out in the open cos how are people change and stop doing things that anoy each other if we dont tell people"

WTF ELSE DO YOU THINK WE WRITE ABOUT?! Had he ever read anyone's blog, he'd notice at least occasional thinly veiled critiscism, even from the less keen-to-criticise... Subtlety might also be more effective than saying: "You're wrong, this is what you should do (i.e. be more like me!)"

Update

Lo all...

Apologies for lack of blogging (and for lack of sarcastic replies to all "yo mofo bloggas"...). This was due to me dashing off to Cambridge on Monday to meet and greet my dearly beloved, who had just returned from Uganda (where her parents currently live). I might have planned to escape revision - I was wrong. I went from being occasionally harassed by a 'rent or two, to being constantly monitored by a girl with NOTHING to do all day except sit asking me questions on chemistry! BAD MOVE!...

That gripe aside (:D) I enjoyed myself fully... But moving swiftly on (before Jim starts complaining of his deprivation), I returned here on Thursday, found the aforementioned rather small person a bike to get her around Cambridge - one my sisters got too big for several years ago - and varouns other bumf on Friday, and then spent most of today in Chelmsford: MMMMM... SALES...

So: half an hour in Game, an hour in HMV, and a couple more spread between Ottakars, Waterstones, Argos and a handful of others... And of course going into the Meadows toyshop to play with the speaking Gollum/Smeagol... Nasty Hobbitses... they stole it from us they did...

The present problem was solved by the purchase of a set of three interlinked silver bangles and also a knittable Eeyore, and now my preciousss has departed for Cambridge again from Stansted station, wearing my blue 'hoodie' (how wude!) - having had to keep the windows down all the way because she felt carsick - though not apparently the fault of my driving - I hope! But she did leave me with a handful of loot (gifts from her travels) including something VERY cool, which we spotted in a shop in NZ while I was out there at Xmas...

The amazing device is an automatic bubble blower... It consists of a trough for bubble mixture (or water + washing up liquid of choice), a revolving set of little hoops like the ones supplied with the normal little bottles of bubble stuff, and a fan to blow them, all built into a compact little black machine... rather nifty I thought! Well, I like it anyway :p

I think that's about all I have to say... I just looked at Koel's blog and realised I have a LOT to catch up on just there! So I shall have to allocate some time tomorrow to just sitting and reading... am allowing myself to read on entry before bed :D

Oh yes: hope y'all had fun at Edinburgh, those who went... As I predicted, I forgot to phone and say congrats, so will do that just now (probably waking up Prillo - oops...). I guess I was just caught up in the hectic whirl of revision, wot wot? Yep, very likely...

Anyway, ciao for now...

Depressing fact: Mass riots and shooting in Iraq: Burnt out tanks on the streets of Baghdad: Tony Blair goes on a weekend jaunt to Bermuda...

Crazy Comedians

Lo all...

Big news of the moment: She-who-must-be-obeyed is currently in an airport in Uganda, ready to board a flight back here... and after 3 months to prepare, what do I realise? STILL haven't bought the 'anniversary'/valentines present... OOPS! I don't think anyone who knows me would be at all surprised though...

Apart from that, (I hope you read that and said "VILLIAM!" in a suitably motherly tone, Prillo...) I don't really have much to say... I'm on a little high due to the aforementioned circumstances, so I'm not in a ranting mood...

I have some suggested reading if anyone is interested: "If I Die in a Combat Zone" by Tim O'Brien. It's an autobiographical account of being drafted for the Vietnam War... A good antidote to any Bush style gung-ho feelings - though I would have to admit I'm probably the prime candidate for that - which I discovered in a bookcase at home... (For those who have never been here, or never came upstairs, there are the following bookcases in the house: Half height(approx 3 foot tall): 1 in the hall, 2 in the conservatory, 3 on the landing, 1 in the sitting room; Full height (approx 6 foot): 1 per kid's bedroom(3), 1 in the hall). Taking these as an average of 3 foot wide, with about half the shelves double stacked to full meaning about an average depth of book being 1 foot, my rough estimate would be:

45 high x 3 wide x 1 deep = 135 cubic feet of books in my house... probably around a thousand... so there's plenty to randomly spot...

Having made that random divergence from anything at all relevant and/or interesting, I've remembered what I originally meant this post to be about...

Comedians: why I'm glad I can't tell a joke.

It seems as though behind most 'great' comic standups there is a severely messed up person, addicted to something - drugs, sex, fame, applause - or messed up in some other way. And it occured to me also that these "funny guys" are very good at telling jokes, and I am not. Not particularly remarkable. But the reason I am not is because I crack up at the joke before I get it out, no matter how many times I've heard it... Whereas to deliver it properly, I would need to NOT find it funny. Without trying to be conceited, I would think of myself as someone who trys to laugh at life whenever possible (rather than get angry as I used to) and thus I wondered: is this depression, addiction or whatever among the 'funny guys' due to them not being able to laugh at life: being able to be cynical, dry, witty, but never amused?

Well, that filled a gap in the page anyway, even if it was probably total sh*te...

I'll end with my 'happy' quote:

Look at the bright side: you get to spend eternity as a young looking ghost, not an old one :D

Quote Me Happy!

That's right: those annoying ad's* from Norwich Union about insurance. But there is some benefit in them - they gave me the inspiration (along with Koel's "Horatio" quote) for the following cunning plan:

*(correct usage of apostrophe - due to abreviation, not to plural, unlike "Mike's Plumber's" for example - yep, I'm really going to pick your company from the Yellow Pages...)

Will's Quote Me Happy - Each time I post, I shall quote a depressing, morbid or disturbing line or statistic - either that, or something which is just too cool to leave unposted :D

Today, it's the latter:

"Are you gonna bark all day little doggy, or are you gonna bite?"

Btw: Steve Buscemi R T3H 1337