Quote of the moment:
"Operator, get me the number for 911!" - Homer, naturallement.
It's my blog's birthday. So Prill would say, anyway. Yippee. To celebrate (or just possibly as a total coincidence) I have a huge list of stuff written on my arm to blog about. Lucky you!
First, there's been awesome weather for the last couple of days. Score. I was so impressed that I cycled there in just my shirt, without even my lovely woolly hat.
Second, I had to go to the doctor's surgery to get my first Hepatitus B jab, which for some reason I need for summer camp.
Third, I handed in my notice at Tesco. When asked why, I said "Er... my parents are moving soon. Mumble mumble mumble..."
Fourth, the very saucy (boom-boom) Branston Pickle fine-cut pickle jars have "Easily Spread" blazoned across the packaging. I failed to contain a lengthy dirty chuckle.
Fifth, a small boy (age 5, maybe?) decided he wanted to be my assistant while his parents cruised the aisle, so I gave him an opened pack of PG tips boxes to put out. He was so proud of his achievement that he declared "I could work here easily!". Child labour is the way forward.
Sixth, the deputy manager, Emma, (who is incidentally short, blonde, 28-ish, worthy of a Harry FAWWW and keeps mocking me for forgetting my paycheck) reminded me on her way past as I was leading a customer to find the coconut milk(!) that I needed to lug some surplus Coke back into the warehouse. The lady I was helping, presumably some sort of office manager, told me that if she treated her staff like that they'd revolt. I was puzzled, since it was harmless apart from the obvious implied like you forgot your paycheck. The customer walked past me again about 5 minutes later and told me that she'd spoken to Emma and told her she ought to apologise for treating me so disgracefully. I nodded very seriously, took my trolley back out into the warehouse and ROFLED. I then went and stuck my head through the door of Emma's office to apologise in case she was annoyed, and made her snort with laughter in the middle of some management phonecall. Mwahahaha!
Seventh, according to The Times yesterday the US 'ambush' on the car with the Italian hostage was actually triggered by a satellite. The satellite detected this vehicle racing through Baghdad, pinged it and got no response(all coalition vehicles have 'black boxes' which would send back an identifying signal, originally designed to stop attacks by friendly aircraft). The satellite therefore classes the vehicle as suspicious and flags it up to the local US HQ, which directs the nearest patrol to mount a temporary checkpoint to stop and search the vehicle. The vehicle fails to stop for the checkpoint and is fired upon. Personally I think the level of techonology involved is pretty awesome, although not as good as the hyper-responsive combat-capable prosthetic limbs being trialed by US soldiers who have had amputations after injuries in Iraq.
Eighth, in The Mirror today is the story of a man who was acquitted of drunk-driving because doctors testified that he is a full-blown sleep-walker. He did all of the following while asleep after a drunken night out(and taxi home): went outside, got in his car, drove it off, crashed into a lampost, crawled out, walked home, went back to bed. When police traced the car to his address he woke up and answered the door, complete with cuts on his face and bloodstains down his t-shirt. Impressive...
Ninth, it's my sister's 18th birthday today too. Pfft, irrelevent eh?!
