Initialize the GBL!

Quote of the moment:
+++ Divide By Cucumber Error. Please Reinstall Universe And Reboot +++

After an outing down at Cardiff Bay yesterday and another today in which my rather socialist* 4+ played fox to the 4+ and 4- hounds following us in what was apparently a practice run (and an ensuing burst blister on my thumb) I discovered what I thought were just scratch crews are actually racing on Sunday. It's the inaugural Cardiff Small Boats Head, for which I am a short notice replacement for what was a short notice crew anyway. Someone's out for reasons unknown to me from a race until today unknown to me, because during the post-training meeting on Tuesday to discuss the plan for the year I was marching home and changing into my dare T-shirt. My bad.

* Socialist 4+: A coxed four (4+) which has a n00b (and Welsh, of all things) cox who needs every call fed to him by the stroke and in which most decisions are taken either spontaneously or collectively by the 3 rowers** who aren't called Will, while Will sits quietly being the oppressed peasant.

** Rowers: Strictly speaking they're oarsmen, who handle blades and not oars. It's like guns in the Army. Guns are what the Artillery fire. Rifles are what riflemen fire, even if they aren't Riflemen. Unless they're a Machine Gunner, in which case they still don't fire a gun, but an MG, although not the sort parked outside the Officers Mess.

Can you tell I've been reading Pratchett?

Ghostly Goings-On

Quote of the moment:
"I wish my lawn was emo so it would cut itself."

Walked someone home last night to the far side of the city cemetary. Having dumped my grey hoodie at home on the way out I had lapsed from Donnie Darko into a mere skeleton, but a skeleton run through the park seemed a good way to get home. Sadly the gate disagreed, snagging my trousers on the way over and leaving me hanging til I ripped them off. Bit of a hole, through my boxers too...

In other news: how to celebrate the end of school (although only to go on study leave) like Aussie leavers...

An Oldie but a Goodie...

Quote of the moment:
"Under the sea
Under the sea
Darling it's better
Down where it's wetter
Take it from me"

The sexual inuendo doesn't end there. It's sung by a crab... (Eh Squire? Nudge-nudge, wink-wink, know-what-I-mean, know-what-I-mean?)

On the subject of classic oldies, by the time we reach New Year I expect Prill, Jimmy and anyone else claiming musical ability to able to play this:



I also expect Jim to magic a piano or electric keyboard into his house because we aren't going to be in the 'Burgh. Personally, I'll bring my tramp harmonica.

Damaged Goods

Quote of the moment:
"I'M SPARTACUS!"

Birthday outing on Monday night: I lost half an eyebrow and gained a large amount of ketchup, mayonnaise and assorted other condiments, which were interesting to wash out of my ears in the morning. Photos have yet to be posted on Facebook, for which I'm half grateful and half disappointed. What can you expect from 10 pints before going out? Bloody Duncs mate, bloody Duncs.

The damage can be seen in this photo from Tuesday's OTC Dare Night. Yes, that is a handbag and yes, I do love stealing Facebook photos.


In other news: Nato claim 48 dead militants, locals claim at least 60 dead civilians. Same bodies, it's just that they were carrying rifles when they died.

OCdt Shorty

Quote of the moment:
In the brief moment Skoo was not playing WoW this week we wrote the
following little film about The Toilet Guy. We were also going to try
and do a podcast but Skoo was back playing WoW by the time I was free.

I HATE YOU WoW.

DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE!

Here's the toon:
http://www.weebls-stuff.com/toons/toilet+guy/

Haha. The insidious effects of WOW affect everyone.

OTC weekend 1 was fun. I got put in charge of my section, which was joyous, especially trying to lead them back to our lines in the dark holding hands in a very butch and military way. We managed to have 5 girls and 5 guys split into hetero pairs, randomly, which worked fine apart from one pair bickering like a married couple and in another the girl making the guy her bitch while she put on "tactical" green eyeliner.

Oh yeah. I'm 21. Go me.

Aberfan

Quote of the moment:
"Official commemorations of the 40th anniversary of the Aberfan disaster are beginning, to remember the 144 people who died in the south Wales town. A total of 116 children lost their lives when a coal waste tip slid down a mountain, engulfing a school and surrounding houses on 21 October 1966."

A reminder that accidents are far more of a threat than incidents.

The 'neanderthal' got his comeuppance. Black eye from Tuesday night, vague flashback of being in a headlock, that's about it. Twice in a week is pretty good going. On the plus side, it's beautifully coloured. An unrelated positive is that we finally have the internet installed and I've just bought a wireless USB stick. Wasting my life on Messenger is possible once more.

Dead Rabbits

Quote of the moment:


Reminded me of last weekend. Was lunching in the delightful training camp cafeteria and discussing who would actually join the army. Turned out that out of four people (two guys, two girls) only I would. They then wondered how soldiers could actually shoot people and seemed amazed when I said I'd do it without hesitating. How would I know? Well, I assumed on the basis of A) I've shot small cute fluffy things (with fleas, mind) which are much more appealing than blokes in combats/robes and turbans, and B) I have no ethical objection that could stay my hand. If it were a purely genetic issue, obviously natural selection would have weeded out those who couldn't before now, but with the enviromental effect I think a lot of it is down to instinct and the male instinct is to dominate, to fight for the alpha position.

Apparently I'm slightly prehistoric. Proud of it too :p

Der Panther

Quote of the moment:
Sein Blick ist vom Vorübergehen der Stäbe
so müd geworden, daß er nichts mehr hält.
Ihm ist, als ob es tausend Stäbe gäbe
und hinter tausend Stäben keine Welt.

Der weiche Gang geschmeidig starker Schritte,
der sich im allerkleinsten Kreise dreht,
ist wie ein Tanz von Kraft um eine Mitte,
in der betäubt ein großer Wille steht.

Nur manchmal schiebt der Vorhang der Pupille
sich lautlos auf -. Dann geht ein Bild hinein,
geht durch der Glieder angespannter Stille -
und hört im Herzen auf zu sein.

- Der Panther, von Rainer Maria Rilke. Poetry quoting one-upmanship it is. Once upon a time I could reel that off like The Jabberwock, but sadly German doesn't stick in the mind so well.

Further Facebook robbery produced another type of panther...


But some people are definitely not panthers. A guy who eats a whole chicken in one meal, weighs 18 stone and doesn't think he's fat? Is he a professional rugby player? Methinks not...

In other news, I am a mouthy git. While walking home I made an excessively loud comment about some guy slumped crosslegged in the middle of the high street and he got up and pursued us... he got in two punches to my face and got even angrier because I was just amused by him. My views on Welsh inferiority complexes were similarly unappreciated by the rest of the audience... Only because the guys were worried about their Welsh female neighbours taking offence. How chivalrous.

Initiation

Quote of the moment:


Induction was baby themed. Baby bib, big white "Hello Mummy!" pants masquerading as a nappy, alcoholic kids party games, vodka laced baby food, baby milk that was vodka with a dash of milk, muchos fun had by all, even me when I wasn't coughing. Went to Shipwrecked. Have bruises on my sides from piggybacking people all the way, purely because I wanted to at the time. Acted in an immensely sober fashion. Poledanced. All still dressed as a baby.

Officer Cadet Poyntz

Quote of the moment:
"Sometimes you have to tease
And sometimes you have to say please
And sometimes you have to say hey,
I'm gonna..."

- A suprisingly tuneful back-of-the-bus choir, trying to wake up the girls sitting just in front of them with some beautifully performed Tenacious D.

Hurrah for crusty old bowtie wearing Medical Officers. There were 4 GPs roped in to do the OTC medicals and one of them read his outdated booklet (last revised 2003) and failed me, but I got bumped up to seeing the army MO and he made me list sports etc since the op, made me touch my toes, blustered for a while about the incompetence of civilian doctors and then tore up my old form and wrote out a new one saying I was fine.

That was the most exciting thing that happened all weekend, with the possible exception of Cardiff Company destroying everyone else (Swansea, Bangor and Aberystwyth) at Saturday night's boatrace and leg wrestling. No, I hadn't heard of leg wrestling before either. The basic idea is to lie on the floor like you're top-to-toeing in a bed and on the countdown "1, 2, Cock-a-hoop" (bizarre indeed) lift up the inside legs and try and force the other person's down to the floor (flipping them over backwards in the process). We had 2 players from each company and I lost only to the other Cardiff guy, who happened to be a 6'6 18-odd stone second row known as "The Unit" for his ability to down vodka by the half pint. He does have the mild advantage of being from somewhere in the former eastern bloc and probably having been drinking vodka since his age could be counted on his fingers though.

Initiation tomorrow night. I spent most of today in bed alternatively sweating, shivering and coughing up lakes of green, with occasional red streaks. Mmmm... healthy.

Indiana Jones and the Medical on Saturday

Quote of the moment:
"You'd better leave before I accidentally call you fat."

- A drunk but well meaning Will manages to cause offence anyway. Funny that.

My elven eyes saw yesterday that my new room-next-door housemate, known to me, Jambo and James from last year as Van Helsing when we saw him in supper, actually deserves a more apt designation. As it was pissing down he was wearing his long Gestapo coat with his big Gestapo boots and his wide Gestapo hat, and looked just like this guy...



Awesome huh? I'm living next to the baddie from Raiders. He has the face, the round glasses and everything. He'd just need to trim the classic Games Workshop ponytail (he's still into his Warhammer). What a dude.

Talking of Raiders, Karen Allen as Marion is awesomely fit. Just thought you should know.

In other news, medical allowing I'm in the OTC. Had a bit of a mental first social on Tuesday, downed some strange custard cocktail, had a tug-of-war with a bit of wood (chain of three people on each team, holding the one in front and the front one holds the wood) which was a recipe for blisters when, instead of the normal few seconds of struggle, my round at the front lasted about 3 minutes of hardcore struggle until I got pulled over backwards by my team, flailed my feet in the air and kicked the other guy in the hand. We got the wood but were disqualified for bringing the game into disrepute. My bad.

Leaving on a coach tonight to go to Sennybridge training camp for induction weekend, involving lots of queueing, lots of kit issue, a fitness test and a medical. Hopefully I can convince the doctor that the form issued (last revised August 05) is out of date because ACL repairs are now fine. I had a letter from the Army Medical Board about it and everything. If only the letter hadn't disappeared into the strata of crap on last year's floor...